boyfriend left because I wouldnt have an abortion :(
Hiya, I'm 8 weeks pregnant and I'll be 17 when i have it. Sadly now my boyfriend has broke up with me as he "can't forgive me" for making him be a dad! We were together a year and I found out about 2 weeks ago. I was on the pill so it came as a huge shock, when I first told him he actually seemed ok, I thought he was going to be alright about it, he didn't really say alot but he gave me a huge hug and I thought that had to mean something, as he knows I've always been against abortions, he also asked what I wanted to do and I told him I don't think I could go through with an abortion, he still seemed ok.
The next day he started going mad, saying what I was choosing to do wasn't fair, he should have a say , that it should be illegal for me to have the baby if he doesn't want it, that I was trapping him, I was devastated by this reaction but did think it was just a super freak out, but then he gave me an ultimatum. Him or the baby. I couldn't believe he could ask that of me, I know its early days but I don't have it in me for an abortion and he thinks its nothing! "people do it all the time you get over it, its barely a dot in your belly get real" were some of the words he's used.
I've been trying to talk him round every now and then (not going on at him) but he is just evil some of the things he says to me, I am completely heartbroken by this, I know I am young but I genuinely am head over heels for him, it hurts me so much it is the ultimate rejection, not just me but our child. How can he not want his own child, I don't understand it! I told him I already feel attached to it, I've got so overprotective of my belly, and he told me to stop being so cliche! he always said if this happened he'd support me no matter what, well what aload of crap that was! One of his friends told me to dive down some stairs onto a pillow full of bricks and my ex was with him at the time. I'm just at a loss, I'm trying to keep strong for the baby I just can't ignore this constant pain and I'm terrified I'll lose the baby, especially with this extra stress! He also seems to think that he is completely correct in what hes done, supposedly I'm the person in the wrong here what I've done isn't right?! I'm pretty sure thats not true, he broke up with me because I wouldn't have an abortion. Or am I actually crazy or is he right
I'm sorry for the eeeextra long rant! I just needed to get it all out. I'd really appreciate anything anyone has to say! & if anybody want to talk or anything leave your msn or something
The next day he started going mad, saying what I was choosing to do wasn't fair, he should have a say , that it should be illegal for me to have the baby if he doesn't want it, that I was trapping him, I was devastated by this reaction but did think it was just a super freak out, but then he gave me an ultimatum. Him or the baby. I couldn't believe he could ask that of me, I know its early days but I don't have it in me for an abortion and he thinks its nothing! "people do it all the time you get over it, its barely a dot in your belly get real" were some of the words he's used.
I've been trying to talk him round every now and then (not going on at him) but he is just evil some of the things he says to me, I am completely heartbroken by this, I know I am young but I genuinely am head over heels for him, it hurts me so much it is the ultimate rejection, not just me but our child. How can he not want his own child, I don't understand it! I told him I already feel attached to it, I've got so overprotective of my belly, and he told me to stop being so cliche! he always said if this happened he'd support me no matter what, well what aload of crap that was! One of his friends told me to dive down some stairs onto a pillow full of bricks and my ex was with him at the time. I'm just at a loss, I'm trying to keep strong for the baby I just can't ignore this constant pain and I'm terrified I'll lose the baby, especially with this extra stress! He also seems to think that he is completely correct in what hes done, supposedly I'm the person in the wrong here what I've done isn't right?! I'm pretty sure thats not true, he broke up with me because I wouldn't have an abortion. Or am I actually crazy or is he right
I'm sorry for the eeeextra long rant! I just needed to get it all out. I'd really appreciate anything anyone has to say! & if anybody want to talk or anything leave your msn or something
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Replies
I would suggest you cut your losses and run, for your sake as much as the baby's.
Who know what he'd be capable of when the baby's actually here? Would you trust him with it??
Good luck x
How old is he? Do you have a supportive family? Have you told n e one else?
He has probably gotten over the inital 'oh its great' and maybe realised he's not ready to be a dad and probably worried how you both could raise the baby financially etc.
But you know whether you are 16 or 36 people will always have their worries bout dealing with having a baby so he needs to get a grip!!!
You may he head over heels as i was with my bf's at that age but there will always be someone else and someone who will not talk to you in that horrible manner!!
If you want this baby then you have this baby, it's you body and your choice. Everyone is really nice on here so feel free to rant at any time and we will see if we can help you hun xxx
I know its not an ideal situation and no I'm not exactly ready but I don't really think anybody is until they have their first.
I've pretty much cut him out of my life now, I won't chase him up to be a dad, we don't need him if he doesn't want to be, If he does ever change his mind I wouldn't stop him being involved.
Thankfully my family have been fantastic, my parents are so supportive as are my grandparents, I know it'll be alirght in the end, its just hard atm.
My biological father left my mum & me before I was born too so its quite personal to me, but now I have a fantastic dad, so I know your 100% right in what your saying
Thanks so much for the response though, its deffinately made me think more about things, even if I tried putting them to the back of my mind. I'm trying to be alot more optimistic about it!
I kow this is going off topic a bit, but I've been getting bad belly pains is that normal ?
xxxx
anyhow, do you have a supportive family? dont waste your breath with him, he will still have to pay for the baby as mlong as you work hard to make sure he does (personally i didnt bother as i didnt want his scummy money and i havent struggled)
anyway best of luck, enjoy your pregnancy xx
In my opion he should be a man and step up to his responsibilties, if he didnt want a child so badly he should have put something on the end off it. No matter how much you love him, if you want to keep your baby, stand by your guns....!!! He will have to relaise one day that it was a joint effort to concieve this baby so he has a role to play as dad, even if he isnt there for the child physically he will have to be finacially. CSA will make sure of that. Head up hun, you got a lovely baby growing inside you and that sould be your main concern!!! x x x
Everytime I feel sad she gives me a little kick (actually not that little lol!) and it does the trick. I can't wait to meet her and I'll be the best possible mum I can be to her.
I know one day he'll end up a bitter old man and wondering but I'm deffinately moving on with my life now! My family have been amazing I really couldn't ask for better! As for the finance side of things, I know it would help but I don't want his money I don't want anything from him. But again thankyou so much for all your help
Im just nervous about the actual birth now, my pain threshold is non existent lol! x x
As for the labour, honestly dont worry about it, the best thing is to go with the flow and take all the help/advice offered to u... I found making a birth plan helped ease my worries, plus parentcraft classes were great. I had an epidural and found it a great help (my baby was a big baby too)
Good luck x
xx
i'm now 18 and a half with a 14mth old daughter and a very supportive and loving family
as for the labour, trust that your body will know what to do - and afterall its only going to be 1 or 2 days max in your life. No matter how she's born, you'll forget everything when you hold her in your arms
Good luck hun, can't wait to hear news of your precious girls arrival! xxxxxxx
tilly (and maddie)
As open minded as I'm feeling any advice on the labour/birth is much appreciated
you sound like you have come a long way.
Wish you all the luck in the world, you will be a fantastic mummy xx
Kirsty xx
I bet you are thrilled
xxxxx
So sorry you had such a bad start to the pregnancy, but I'm sure Olivia will more than make up for that! Well done xx