Scared to leave

Me and my partner both planned to have a baby together, we have lived together for a year and a half and are engaged. When I got pregnant we were both so happy, but 7 weeks in and he has changed so much. He doesn't seem to realize that he needs to be a dad to her now and not just after she's born, and he has no consideration whatsoever for what I am going through, making me cry nearly everyday. I know I want to leave him, the problem is I dont know how. Being a single mum doesn't scare me too much as I have great family and friends around me, but I dont know how I can cut the financial ties. We rent a flat and everything is in my name, and all the bills come from my account, but there is no way I can afford it without him, and I know if I tell him its over he will move back to his home town which is miles away from where we are now. I just feel completely trapped in a loveless relationship and thats not the sort of family I want my baby brought up in. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :\?

Posts

  • Hey babes,

    Sounds like ur in a pickle!! If i was u and you really dont wanna be in the realtionship then i would be looking for else where to live and then tell him ur off, put the notice in for the lease and then cancel all the direct debits and move! i know it's never that simple but it can be as simple of difficult as u make it! perhaps time apart will make things clearer, have a holiday just you and bump/ baby. Talk it through with a close mate/ mum, perhaps u can stay there for a while.

    If you really want out then leave babes it's not good to be in a realtionship that doesnt make u happy and this should be the most joyful time in ur life.

    Have u spoken t him about his change in attitude? As he migh just be scared? (how old is he? is this his first kid?)

    Keep us posted chick, but most of all have a great xmas!
  • if you don't want to be with him split up and worry about the bills later (they shouldn't come before your happiness)
    have you talked to him about how you are feeling and that you want him to be more supportive? but tbh if your only 7 weeks pg i don't know how involved he can be! or is he doing something around you that he shouldn't be? how has he changed?

    big hug, wish you the best of luck hun xx.
  • It sounds cliche but pregnancy really does change things into a completely different light. Stupid question but have you talked to your other half?

    I spent the majority of my first trimester not talking to anyone, especially my OH, thinking he hated me and was totally repulsed by me when it turned out that the whole situation hadn't quite sunk in yet and he was actually scared shitless (excuse the phrasing). Bringing a baby into the world is the biggest decision to make and sometimes even 9 months isn 't enough! Try and keep your chin up, sweetheart. Maybe things will improve, and if not then its surprising how supportive other people can be. You and your baby come first now, Just don't forget that. X
  • babe i wish you all the luck in the world, go with your heart. i havent been in the situation but i know people who were. and they all have the opinon that if things are a little rough then imiagine whether you can see light at the end of the tunnel or not? is it something that is just gonna take time? or is it something thats gonna get worse beacuse if it is, you need to put yourself first, you just had a baby. you have someone that is depending on you for every thing they need. so follow your heart. xxx
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