Is it too much to ask?

Hi everyone,
Im 21 and a full time mum to 22month old daughter and were ttc our 2nd.

Felicity filled her nappy yesterday and oh begged me to do it. I wouldnt normally mind but ive been unwell since thurs and i do it ALL the time anyway. I asked why he couldnt do it and said he doesnt like doing it, gets all messy and im better at it cos i always do it. Exactly, i said to him, i do it all the time so why cant you just this once? Anyway i ended up doing it. Its just the principal of it, the cheek of him. If i had said to him pls i hate doing it pls pls pls felicity wouldnt have been changed at all and then i would have given in which i did anyway cos it needs to be done.
The fact is im the 'house wife' and do EVERYTHING around the house, I dont mind because he works, gives me money and I spend it. BUT surely theres no harm in him giving her a bath or putting her to bed on a saturday night, after all she is his daughter too. He works, I cook and clean and we BOTH share responsibility of OUR child. Thats how it should go.
oh well i cant complain he is a lovely man and helps out once every couple of months x


  • Every cpl of months.........hmmmmm, def needs reworking!! My oh works full time, currently away from home Monday - Friday but still puts kids to bed at the weekends, will get up n make em breakfast etc., will stay at home with all of em so I can go shop in peace n quiet etc! And, as our youngest has been having feeding probs so wakes in the night still (he's 8 1/2 months) - my oh will send me off to have a lay down while he watchews the kids.

    I'm not saying every bloke shud b like that but a little consideration, more frequently than every cpl months, doesn't hurt and can help keep ur relationship as a couple, that bit stronger.
  • i agree millie,my dh works 9- 5 week days but he comes home always baths lo at night on the weekend we take turns for a lie in & he does most of the nappies,if it is a really smelly one we do rock paper scissor stone to see who's going to change it,we always end up laughing when we play it so it breaks the ice as well xo
  • My husband leaves the house every morning at 6.30am & is not home again til 6pm but he would be the 1st to admit that he treasures the time he has with our daughter in the evening & doesnt see it as a chore at all. We dont put Amy to bed til 9pm at night so as she can have some special time with her daddy in the evenings & he always puts her to bed at night & through the week & I obviously get her up in the mornings.

    Its great because although I'm the one at home with her all day its great to see her have such a close bond with her dad too. I'm not saying that all dads should be as hands on as what my hubby is but when they are they def reap the rewards.

    Hilary x
  • I never thought he would be inconsiderate, never used to be, its only really been this year thats he's changed. I try to tell him how I feel but he somehow still gets away with doing nothing! When did he change into a different man? We used to talk about having kids and our own place years ago and always agreed to share responsibility but thats all gone down the pan............................ok ok there are occassions when he'll do the washing up and put felicity to bed but it really is a rareity. Whenever I say 'you never help me out' he shoves those rareitys in my face and expects me to be satisfied. Its the little things that get to me.
    By the way he does play with Felicity, hes a great dad and loves her to bits and will look after her if I want to go out.
  • hi ya my oh half thinks that he goes to work so shouldnt do nothing else which bothers me cos tyler is 8 months old and still dont sleep through so im tired and he always moans cos i want to go to sleep and not have sex . over christmas tyler has been ill not eating sleeping coughing and being sick he is still like that and he expects me to b supper woman and do it all b awake all nite for lo and all day plus house work aswell as hold lo cos he wont go down he juyst crys im at my witts end im not sleeping to top it off he has a works do tonite and is going even though i said i need a break from the crying but he said he works hard all week he deserves a break a nite out i said wot about me i never go out always stuck in with the kids dealing with everything only i dont get paid for it and i said he gets 2 days off at weekend and 2 weeks at christmas i never get time off always working bloody hard i just cant cope any more with his demands.

    sorry to rant just needed to get things off my chest
  • Its not just so that u get a break,tho believe me you need it,I know!.
    But what if u were laid up sick in bed,or hospital. And not just that,if he really wants a good relationship with his child,it starts from day 1. bath time is fun. At least try n get him to do bath time and night story, Its a start hun and will give u 30 mins break. Sometimes we just need a lil break from out lil ones.
  • hi, you definatly need to get this one trained better!!!
    on a serious note though if anything happened to you what would your other half do? its his responsibilty to look after your child and your right to have a break once in a while. being a mum is 1000times harder than anything in the world and unfortunatly most men dont realise this. i actually left my hubby and took my 1week old baby with me because he was really taking the pee out of me.expecting everything, dinner etc even with me having the baby too. he soon realised i was serious when i said he had to get his backside in gear. 6years and 3 children later hes the best dad and a great help to me. im not saying thats the answer but only that i understand(you could make him read these replys that might have the desired affect!!!)......good luck hon xxxxxxxxxx
  • they dont seem 2 understand that they come home from work and thats that whereas lookin after the kid is 24/7 and that sumtimes u just need a break 2 just sit and watch tv or sumthin 4 half an hour, they shud enjoy spendin time with their kid!!
  • I agree he needs 'kicking in to touch' so to speak!
    My oh works from 8 and gets in around 6ish mon to fri. When he gets in he will bath the girls whilst I cook, then I'll come up and give him a hand if the cooking is on etc. Sometimes he will cook and I will bath them but whatever way round we do it we work as a team and it gets done quicker. The sooner they are in bed, the sooner we can enjoy our evening together and eat in peace (well most of the time, sometimes our eldest stays up for a little while longer so she can have a cuddle with daddy etc). At the weekend he will always let me lie in on sunday and he has a lie in on a sat so we both have 1 morning off a week. Then if I want to go out for the evening he wil look after them in the same way I do when he goes out. I think he really treasures the time he has with the children and has even said after I've had our 3rd he wants us to both work part time so we can share the childcare and working resposibilites equally. He really does miss the children when he's at work and can't wait to see them in the evening when he gets home. I hope you manage to get him to change his ways and help you out a bit more. You don't want to still be doing everything when you have a newborn to look after aswell. Good luck x x
  • My OH was exactly the same, until a few weeks ago. We had a big argument one morning. It actually kicked off over something really stupid but in the end I told him he could have the baby all day and see why I'm so tired and making everything such a big deal. I left and went to my mum's for the day while he was left with a screaming baby!

    Don't get me wrong, it was horrible, I felt so sad and guilty and cried the whole way to my mum's and for ages once I got there. I didn't come home until I knew LO would be in bed. Nothing much got sorted that night, we were both too worn out to discuss it all properly. The next day he phoned me from work to apologise! And since then he has done his share. LO started making dada sounds last night, which of course he thinks is her first word, so now I think things are gonna totally flip round and I'm gonna have to fight him to get to bath her!!

    Sort him out Sarah!! It might be hard at the time but it'll be so worth it afterwards x
  • Hi girls,

    well my oh is actually very good. he works 9-530pm mon-fri and he always gives joshua his 7pm bottle and checks on him when he's in bed. alos if he cries in the night (Iwhich is very rare) he'll get up and check on him, not all the time, but most of the time. also when joshua was first bornand he was feeding middle of the night my oh would get up with me and sit with me as i really strugged to BF and would cry at every feed. dont get me wrong he doesnt do much around the house but he does cook twice a week and he is a fab dad to joshua. IMO it takes two to make a baby and two to bring one up! i admire singkle parents so much. come on girls sort those blokes out lol xxx
  • oh my, you and yr oh need to have a serious chat...
    my oh has been brilliant with both boys, automatically goes to change his nappy, make a feed, put him to sleep, give them a bath and thats the way i think it should be because u r both parents...

    during his paternity leave, he was the one who did ALL the night feeds to let me rest and on weekends when he doesn't have to get up early he's the one that checks on the boys, make sure their covers are still on etc.

    my husband used to do 8-4 shifts so he can be home early to be with us but now he's changed his shift to 10-6 so he can take the older one to school and be able to give the younger one his first feed because i stay up later to give him the last feed...

Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions