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An interesting question.
Hello all. I like to write in my spare time and have been working on an idea called 'The Bad Mothers Support Group.' It's more about mothers that have little confidence as a parent then bad mothers. Can I use you all as research?
Do you feel confident as a parent?
If you could change something to make youself a better parent what would it be?
What do you think makes you feel like a bad parent?
Is it the little things you say or something you do?
Myself for example am a typical 'Go and play for a minute and then I'll be there' when I really want to say 'O.k darling, let's go and play together'. Not always easy to do and eats away at me for days! Lol.
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Having practiced on my godsons, niece and other babies I am really confident in my own abilities! I manage by myself for 75% of the year as my fiancee is in the Navy and works away.
My only concern is that Bronwyn doesn't get enough of my time as I work full time as a teacher. I am the main breadwinner and thus have to work. I would love to be able to work part time or even give up work, however this really isn't possible!
I have a feeling that the guilt might set in once smurfy arrives as I will have even less time! However, I am already planning how i can amuse baby so that Bronwyn gets her quality "mummy" time!!!
That's really helpful thanks Caroline. I'm toying with the idea that perhaps one of my characters is a workaholic who thinks she is a bad mum because she wants to go back to work! It's her that sets up the support group as something to do.
I'm sure you do a great job. Bronwyn seems to be perfectly happy and smiley in her pics and that's the main thing. I like smurf btw, we call our bump bean or prawn at the moment lol.
I wouldn't say I'm a bad parent, not compared to some I come in to contact with in my job!
I get incredibly guilty when I get snappy due to tiredness and its usually my 7 yr old that gets a telling off. I get jealous of mums who can organise, you go to their house and its immaculate, how do they do it? I also find myself saying I'll do some creative stuff with the kids tomorrow and then never get round to it because house chores have got in the way. Motherhood is hard work, striving not to be that 'bad mother'!
I like the sound of your idea, it could be a life saver to mums like me to identify with characters who can give them hope that they're not actually that bad. I wish you lots of luck and hope you let us know when its published!
Sarah, the name smurfy comes from the nickname my dad gave me as a kid, he called me smurf. We had a close call 2 years ago when he was given a 50/50 chance of surviving cancer, which is why both babies have been called smurf and now smurfy! Thankfully he survived!!
I love the idea for a book, almost like a self help guide where people can relate to the characters! Good Luck!
Thank all so much for your help. My characters are taking shape more and more as I read what you write.
My worst trait is second guessing myself. If I put my son on the naughty step I sit and think 'Was that the right thing to do then or should I have tried to reason with him? Did I give him the right amount of warnings before I put him on there?' and so on and so forth. There are loads of books about yummy mummys and mums struggling to cope etc, etc but I 'm hoping to delve a bit deeper into why these ladies think they are bad mothers.
i work full time and my husband looks after our son.. i feel guilty all the time for leaving Ben for so long every day. I work a long day every week where I don't see him at all, and at the moment have not seen him since Friday cos I've been working nights.. have tears in my eyes writing this, cos I feel so awful sometimes (probably overtired from nights too!).
to begin with i wasn't very good at discipline as i just wanted him to like me, but have discovered that they still love you even if you tell them off
i had to start work when Ben was 3 weeks old and often felt disconnected from him when he was tiny, as his dad seemed to know much more about what to do! i stopped breast feeding after 3 weeks as thought it was unfair that he might reject a bottle during the day and as his dad was the main carer i wanted them to have the closer bond.. but now realise i should have tried to carry on, and that we can all bond as a family. it's also tough, because sometimes after working a long day you just want to come home and flop on the sofa! but it's not his fault i work full time, so i feel guilty about that too!
although on the positive side, it's lovely to be able to provide for him and now i'm pregnant with bump number two, i'm really looking forward to being able to take a whole six months off and spending time with both my little ones (even though secretly i'm terrified and sure that after six months i'll be desperate to come back to work!). and i also love my job, and know that one day my babies will leave home!
Ive always been around kids from a young age,my younger brother was born when i was 9yrs,the another sister an brother a few yrs later,then when i was 15 my sis had her 1st,i had 5 nephews around before riley was born so i kinda knew what to expect and knew what i was doing,only difference was this one was mine for life.
There were times that i was not sure but hubby was supportive and helped put my mind at rest.