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changed alot here... help me please if u can
My 2yr old, Summer has got so clingly for me i can't bear it, she shouts mam, mam, mam when i put her to bed for about a hour, in the middle of the night she gets up and crys or just shouts for me for about 2 to 3 hours... normally waking the whole house... in the day no one can go near me or she loses it, screams and shouts and wedges her self inbeween them and me, or kicks them off etc... if it's my husband she pushes her way in to the middle of us, if it's one of the other children she hits them, if it's a friend she grabs my leg screaming my mammy my mammy etc.
if i leave her and she know's i'm not around, she couldn't care, she's fine, doesn't ask for me (after the 1st 10 mins of screaming cos i left have worn off)
she's also been very close to me, but this jellous, needy temper stuff has only started since she was about 20 - 22mths... in time it's got worse.
she now sleeps well for 3 nights ish, then screams for the next, then sleeps well for a few nights again then screams...
whats hard is i'm tired, i run my own buniess and i need to work too as well as be a mammy.
so far i've tried being firm, giving her resurance i'm always there, i love her etc, i've tried complete blanking her when she does this (then hugging her once she's stopped kicking or hitting)
i've done all the super nanny stuff, i watch jo frost alot and i think she's really good but summer doesn't understand her ways yet (they work for the 3yr old and 5yr old)
so ideas please????
if i leave her and she know's i'm not around, she couldn't care, she's fine, doesn't ask for me (after the 1st 10 mins of screaming cos i left have worn off)
she's also been very close to me, but this jellous, needy temper stuff has only started since she was about 20 - 22mths... in time it's got worse.
she now sleeps well for 3 nights ish, then screams for the next, then sleeps well for a few nights again then screams...
whats hard is i'm tired, i run my own buniess and i need to work too as well as be a mammy.
so far i've tried being firm, giving her resurance i'm always there, i love her etc, i've tried complete blanking her when she does this (then hugging her once she's stopped kicking or hitting)
i've done all the super nanny stuff, i watch jo frost alot and i think she's really good but summer doesn't understand her ways yet (they work for the 3yr old and 5yr old)
so ideas please????
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Replies
Hi Kristy.
Much as you love being close to them,they do have to know they don't have to be hanging off you and totally dependent all the time.The cetainly don't need to be screaming at you.
The hitting has to stop,at that point I would take the hitter away from the situation,and spend time with the child who was hit.The supernanny stuff doesn't always work,I agree,you have to find what works for you.If one of mine hurts the other I make sure they see that they hurt that person,that what they did to the other person hurt.I think sometimes they hit out without realising that hurts .If she pushes in between you ,I'd take her out,tell her to just let you talk to Daddy for a minute then she can come and tell you what she wants to,and the same if you're with friends.I don't know what kind of work you do but is it the kind of thing where you could have Mummy's work and Summer's work so she would be with you but not interfering with you getting on with your work.
Night time depends on the child.Routine is important,stick to it as strictly as you can.Nice calm bath and story or two before bed.If your daughter screams for hours ,leaving her to scream won't help.The calmest way to deal with it would be Mummy's just going to sit here,and sit on the floor next to the bed,not talking just being there ,then over the next few nights make it further away.That way you can do it at your daughter's pace.As you say sometimes she's okay others she screamsmaybe reassurance and a bit or reinforcement that bedtime is bedtime,but also to make bedtimea happy experience.It's hard work when you're tired,but if you get a good night's sleep you feel better and same goes for your little one.
2 year olds do scream,and it does get better the more words they master.Hope something helps
Jo