"I hate YOU"
Shouted B at me this evening. I responded by saying I still love you.
How had we got to that stage? He had hit his sister several times and then when he was told to sit in the kitchen and calm down he threw an orange at me. I said that was enough he could go to bed. He went upstairs and then returned later saying he ahd a headache. I said no wonde when you haven't drunk enough today and played outside without wearing your hat. He then demanded tea and I said no because you have been sent to bed. He replied that I was being naughty and I responded is repeatedly hitting someone and throwing an prange at someone is naughty behaviour. So he shouted he hated me and went back upstairs.
Later on he then said I said I hated him and why would I say such a thing?<sigh>
Replies
Hugs to you, it must be difficult for you.
It is horrible when your child say's they hate you
you have my sympathies. My seven year old son still say's this from time to time particularly if I am having to try and discipline him i.e. give him a a time out if his behaviour is unacceptable. He hates having a time out and he will sometimes scream at me. What I find more disturbing/upsetting when he hits himself with the fustration of the situation.
Cheers DS - waht I find annoying is when he twists what I have said. There is NO way I would say I hate him but he said I had, that makes me sad.
WF - that must be horrible
Have you been able to talk to him and ask why he hits himself?
I have talked to him and it is possible to get him to calm down. School is very good at making sure he doesn't get too fustrated and give him a drink of water. I think it is because he is naturally very rule compliant and so gets very angry and fustrated when he feels he has done the wrong thing or made the wrong choice and so he tends to take it out on himself. It seems to be related to his Dyspraxia which is a co-ordination disorder but leads to fustration in many areas. We are working on getting him to talk through how he feels and acknowledging it is OK to get angry but it is about how we express that anger or fustration. He normally is very happy and easy going. He also has good self esteem, loves himself and knows others love him.
It's said for effect you know that. To provoke a reaction. You know he doesn't mean it. Tomorrow's a new day x
I agree with Beez. He doesn't really hate you he just knows that it will effect you and possibly leverage a reaction. My son went through a stage of saying it basically every time I stopped him doing something he wanted to do. Kids are incredibly wiley when it comes to things like that. Hopefully he will grow out of it, just as my son did, eventually he'll appreciate everything you have, currently do and will do for him x