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Coping mechanisms - dealing with [email protected]

Let's say theoretically....

If someone you work with is an absolute moron, and out of their depth, and constantly annoying you by trying to get you to do their dirty work, or by being obstructive, or just generic arrogance, and it serves you best not to address it professionally at this time...

What do you do?

Imagine throwing them in to the sea? Minimise contact with them? Go the super-nice route and hope they eventually catch up with the rest of the team?

Do you have anyone who drives you crazy at work? How do you stop yourself from feeling murderous?! Laugh

Replies

  • Try being deliberately obtuse back to them. So if they are trying to get you to do their dirty work, be deliberately slow about understanding what they want.

    I've observed that this is basically how some people avoid doing stuff at work, as everyone then tries to work round them. They get the easy life of not having to do stuff because its too hard to try to get them to do it in the first place.

    Being super nice is useful but sometimes some people are never satisfied. I used to work with someone who was generally bitter about the fact that some of her job had disappeared under her. Nothing really worked - the person she shared an office with fell out with her so badly that they didn't talk to each other during the day. And she was a woman in her fifties so not someone immature.

  • Cedar

    Try being deliberately obtuse back to them. So if they are trying to get you to do their dirty work, be deliberately slow about understanding what they want.

    I like that idea. I do sometimes repeat what they've asked for, in a slightly sarcastic tone, "you want *me* to re-work *your* numbers now that *you've* changed them again....? Ri-ight...."

    I feel like a sullen teenager though! Ha ha.

    I've got staff working for me on 25% of this particular person's salary, doing their work for them, because it's how we 'work round them', exactly as you say.

  • just say you're too busy, got stuff to go, got to go pee, got to go for lunch, "oh anyone fancy a drink" just put off doing anything fot them

    are you their manager?

  • twink

    just say you're too busy, got stuff to go, got to go pee, got to go for lunch, "oh anyone fancy a drink" just put off doing anything fot them

    are you their manager?

    Ha! That made me laugh :)

    No, it's actually someone who's my peer, and is Managing Director of their business unit. We all feel the same about them, to be fair, but I tend to bear the brunt because of how my role interacts. I actually cringe when they approach me now, which is embarrassing.

  • Voodoo doll?

    Yeah I do what cedar suggests. Depends who it is though, and tbh how much I respect them. I have a director who I would do stuff for but really it's because I know how busy he is and I have respect for him and what he does. And I know he's not just palming off work he can't be bothered doing. There are others who do try to just get others to do their work and that always goes to bottom of my priority list!

  • It definitely makes a difference if you know they're not just sidestepping stuff and genuinely trying their best. I feel for the people who are always up against it.

    "If you want something done, ask a busy person" :)

  • If its someone who is a peer then the other way to get around doing it is to say 'I can do this, but I've got to do x, y, and z for x day so I won't be able to do it for you until xxx day'. This way you sound as though you are being helpful and you don't sound like you're being difficult.

    I say things like 'what a good idea that is. I'd love to help you with those figures, but unfortunately I've got to do this for the other team. If only I had a bit more time I'd do it' for my job. (This is generally not because someone is buck passing but because people will often want help with find out information from our database but want it for something today or tomorrow rather than thinking ahead a bit. For some people I'll do it because its important that its done there and then, but for others they have to learn to manage their expectations.)

  • I've said things like 'I'd love to but I'm so busy I know I wouldn't give it my full attention and I don't want to cause you more problems.' Or I've done as cedar says and given a date I can get it done for which isn't too soon.

  • Today I lost it! Raised my voice in their office, I was shaking with anger and then I stormed out. What better way to be dismissed as the 'crazy pregnant one' than that! What an idiot I am.

    I had hoped to get things on an even keel before I went on mat leave but looks like that ship has sailed. But - I take on board the comments. I'm taking a days leave each week in March and going to try to work from home a bit too, so I think that will be my legitimate 'too busy' excuse and I'll just have to keep those boundaries nice and tight. Luckily people know what he's like, only I'm the only one who has to put up with him to such a degree :)

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