How did you know when you didn't want anymore children?
We both always said we definitely wanted two children and a third would be a "luxury item" if we could afford it.
now we have two though we are thinking more and more that perhaps we shouldn't have a third, not just because of money
we have a four bed house so it's not an issue of space. But having B has made us realise just how much an additional child changes the dynamics of the family. I also am so aware of how I feel like I don't give either of them enough time as I'm constantly juggling everything, so to have a third would mean even less time for each
I grew up as one of four and money was always very very tight and I don't want that for mine, I want to be able to afford to go on holiday, have day trips out, the occasional treat etc.
i also worry 3 is an odd number, would there be an odd one out, especially if it was a boy. Or would #2 get neglected as the "middle child"
so there's lots of things making us think that we shouldn't have another one, but there's also a part that makes me feel sad that I wouldn't get to be pregnant again, have a big bump and feel it wriggling about, meeting your new baby, breast feeding, sleepy cuddles , there's so much! But I dont feel sad about not having another child, I feel sad about not having pregnancy and a baby.
will I always feel like this? Will I still feel like that even if I had a third, you have to stop at some point and when you know you're not having anymore do you still feel sad about it or do you just know that that is it?
Replies
I have no idea as we only just had L. I've always wanted four, but after giving birth my immediate reaction was never again! Four weeks later I'm more open to it and I want L to have a sibling so I will definately try to convince H to try for at least one more. I don't think my response helps you though!
I always thought two, potentially 3 if we could afford it financially. However since having S and the initial 'I'm never doing that again' wore off I know I'll be happy to stick at two. I think I was realistic about having a baby and knew my life would change but I don't think I realised how much it would change me. I also want to be able to afford day trips, holidays, activities for them when they're older so stopping at two works for us.
I always wanted at least 2. We haven't shut the book on a possible 3rd, but i think 3 would be my limit. I'm 1 of 5 and technically the middle child, but i wouldn't say i've suffered from the 'middle child' syndrome...i really think my older sister did!
I grew up as a two and could (and still can) only ever see myself with two. H is one of four and has always said "two or three". In all honesty, I'd have stopped at one if I didn't want to give S a sibling. I'll be quite happy to stop after this one.
I always only wanted one, before/during and after pregnancy I always thought this. 1 year I'm thinking maybe one more to give my son a sibling and play matr
I know exactly how you feel. I don't think we want more than 2 but I loved being pregnant, giving birth and now breastfeeding. I would do it all again in a heartbeat as my body seems to do that bit very well.
But I think I only want two kids so I find it a bit sad I only got to have one pregnancy and birth experience.
I am one of 9. I grew up not wanting any kids. (Really not a fan of small people)
We have 4 between us. That is more than enough.
After I had J, I felt like I wanted more, as I loved being pregnant, and I loved giving birth. Soon snapped out of that.
Financially, we could afford to pop a few more out, but then the ones we have won't get enough (or what i'd consider to be enough) one on one time. That is very important to me.
The main thing stopping us having more (apart from the fact that my H has now had the snip), is that essentially I am too selfish. I like "me time" too much. When I am 40, my kids will be 22 and 15. They'll be old enough to suit themselves, and I get my life back.
My H is 10 years older than me, and we agreed we didn't want to be bringing babies/small kids up when we were in our 40's.
H and I always wanted 3 and we're fortunate that we've be able to make it possible, but this is the last baby. I'm done in, this pregnancy has been exhausting, especially with a 3 and a 1 year old to contend with. I do feel sad that this is the last baby (I will miss feeling her wriggle about) and all the little milestones that comes with it, but there's so many more milestones that I'm looking forward to as they're growing up.
We always said we wanted two children and after having #2 I was happy to stop. When he was about 18 months though I got a really strong urge to have another and thankfully H agreed so we now have three. We aren't having any more, three is plenty for me and any more would stretch us far too thinly, so H has had the snip and we are looking ahead and enjoying watching the three of them grow up.
Sounds like I am not alone. It's such a hard decision to make. I have said if we did have another I would want W at school as I couldn't handle three all day every day in my own! But I wouldn't want too big a gap as there's only 22mth between W and B. I think in another year we will see how we feel.
I just can't imagine ever not feeling sad about no more pregnancy and babies, but I definitely wouldn't want more than 3.
It's tough decision!