I want to have a child but I'm afraid for my life
Hello, ladies! I'm a young woman and I think I'm ready to become a mum. I've always wanted a child however there's something that makes me feel uneasy about it and it's rooted in the tragic past of the women of my family. My grandmother died while giving birth to my mother and my mother died while giving birth to me. And even though I want to have a child, I'm afraid to continue this awful pattern.
I don't know that much about my grandmother's case but if I think about it, I can think of some reasons for such outcome. It happened in the sixties, maybe medicine wasn't developed very much at that time and also my grandma was in her fourties when she was giving birth for her first child - my mum - so maybe her age also had something to do with it.
However, I can't find any explanation as to why my mum died, because she was a young woman, 26 years old, with no health problems. She died from bleeding out on the table.
My friends tell me not to be superstitious, that it was just a misfortune and that now medicine is very well developed. Yes, I agree that that it might be just an unhappy coincidence but if you were in my place, you'd worry too, wouldn't you? I really want to become a mother but I don't want to die, I know what it's like to grow up without a mum and I don't want to let my child to experience this as well.
What would you advise me? I'm seeing my gynecologist regularly, I'm healthy but so was my mum. Maybe I don't want a child strongly enough if I care for my own life that much?