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Who does all the ‘noticing’ of the little things in your house?

Hi everyone,

We’ve just been reading about a professor of sociology who talks about women’s ‘invisible workload’. She goes on to say that women/mums have an extra ‘invisible workload’ - e.g. That mums do all the ‘noticing’ around the house – what household stuff is running out, who in the family likes what, what washing needs to be done for which school day, who takes note of the PTA meetings/homework/Book Day at school etc

So we were wondering, in your house, who does most of the ‘noticing’ and ‘thinking’? Is it mostly you or maybe it’s shared equally between you and your partner? We'd love to hear how it works for you, so please do post a reply to this thread letting us know.



  • It's me I do all of that although I'm genrally forgetful so some stuff gets missed he works Monday to fridat and I work Saturday and Sunday so at the weekend he's in charge and does the washing and ironing. I don't mind it being mostly me as I'm better at it lol 😂 

  • In my house its me! But tbh I usually forget and need to write myself to do lists! My OH only notices if we run out of things like loo roll or toothpaste but I am the one who needs to go get it! I also do majority of the household chores, childcare runs, food shops etc. My OH works longer hours and its just always been this way but it works for us (when I remember!) however when baby 2 arrives I may need to give him more jobs to do haha!

  • Well I imagine this is bit of a controversial subject!

    On the whole, it is me who remembers all the 'invisible' things when it comes to the kids - doctors appointments, theme days at nursery, what their favourite toy is, what kind of food they like, what they are going to have for breakfast, lunch, dinner etc.  Same as I tend to be our 'Social Diary' also.  However, my Hubby certainly does his share of housework and he generally keeps on top of the shopping list and the food shopping - so I guess its 6 of one and half a dozen of the other with us!

    It does annoy me sometimes.  For example, if I am busy putting washing away or something and its snack time for the kids, he will come and ask me what to give the kids for their snack.  I generally say are you not their Dad?!  He gets the hint then ;-)

  • In our house it's a mixture - partner is a stay at home dad, so he tends to deal with all the school activities, after school clubs, party invites - though I still organise the present, card, party dress etc.

    I normally organise other appointments such as dentist, optician, though he manages the calendar and we have regular 'update meetings' to check what's on in the next week.

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