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NHS: Don't say mum and dad

I just wondered what any of you guys thought of this I saw it in the paper today

THE NHS should ban staff from saying -mum and dad' and -husband and wife' to avoid offending gays, a taxpayer-funded report urges.

Instead it suggests they consider using phrases like ???????guardians??????? or ???????carers???????.

I'm all for equality across the board but I think I would be a bit put out if I wasn't referred to as the mother or mum.

Hope I don't offend anyone just wondered what the general consensus was among expectant mothers.

Claire x


  • That's just bloody ridiculous! It's taking this PC stuff one step too far!

    Myself and my husband can't wait to be a mummy & daddy...

    This kind of thing makes me MAD!!!:x

    Sam xxx
  • Surely they can call you mum when you've given birth to a baby whether you're gay or not? I'm rhesus negative & when I went to see midwife I told her I didn't need anti-d injection cos my hubby is also rhesus negative & she said "Is he definitely the father?!" how PC is that!!!!! Nearly died laughing!!!!!
  • I agree! It's shocking. Surely a doctor will know if a same sex couple approached him for advice!!! It's not rocket science...and i'm sure the couple in question would tell the doc their situation. For crying out loud! How bout offending ME by calling me the baby's CARER!!! Sod Off!!!
  • i dont see how you can offend someone who is about to give birth by calling that person mum, in fact i agree that people would be more likely to be offended if after a long labour they were called guardian. I have noticed that they have a large space on front of maternity notes for information on the partner/husband/family situation and lots of m/w docs have glanced at that b4 addressing babies father as my husband. My friend just gave birth and was a bit upset as several people, often other mums on the ward, kept asking where daddy was, but daddy is a useless little so n so who left her when she found out she was pregnant n hasnt visited once. I think mum is a nice term, my vets call me finlay (dog) and rufus (cat) mum and they both get post from vets saying their vacinations etc are due and that they need to tell their mum. well thats jmo. xx
  • I don't think there is anything wrong with saying mum & dad! bloody pc crap!! :roll: even if they are gay doesn't mean to say that they wont want to be called dads or both mums!! I agree that they shouldn't assume that couples are married but mum& dad? thats just ridiculous!!!
  • I don't think there is anything wrong with saying mum & dad! bloody pc crap!! :roll: even if they are gay doesn't mean to say that they wont want to be called dads or both mums!! I agree that they shouldn't assume that couples are married but mum& dad? thats just ridiculous!!!
  • Thats just bloody stupid, all this stuff drives me mad. Most people can't wait to be called mummy and daddy!
  • Thats just going to far. I would be really offended if we were called guardian's than mummy and daddy.
  • I can see the sense in them calling your OH "partner" just in case you're not married, they could always say they meant "birth partner" if any stoopid people take offence. How can anyone give birth and NOT be a mum??!!! I'm a student nurse and we're encourages to call patients clients or even worse - service users!!
  • I'm sure they would encourage people to use their common sense in a maternity situation, i;e if you've just watched a mother give birth to a child it's a fair call to address her as the 'Mother'. Just to play devils advocate though I would suggest that this is more general advice for the whole NHS, and maybe trying to encourage a better awareness of the fact that family make-ups are changing hugely and that everyone should be more aware of this when dealing with people. I'm playing devils advocate I suppose (I too abhor this obsessive and quite frankly anal obsession the media has with being PC!!) but let me explain why.... I am married to a wonderful guy who's first wife left him with two kids to take care of because she quite simply didn't want the hard work that comes with being a full-time mother. it's worth noting that my hubby is caucasian but his ex wife was black and the children are dark skinned so we make a funny family- 2 white 'parents' and two dark kids...... They live with us full-time and as their step-mum I do many 'motherly' duties for them and let me tell you no one EVER stops to consider that I am not their mum, whether hubby is with me or not. it says a lot about the perceptions people have about families...there must be many more unique situations out there that are never considered because people still focus on there being a 'mummy' and a 'daddy'. I think that for us all to be more aware of not making ANY assumptions about people can't be a bad thing......but maybe with a measure of common sense as well. I'm sure if you read the briefing in full this would be the sense of it, but unfortunately the media take the headline and twist it! I am certainely not someone to be offended by the presumption that I am their mother (I am secretly proud!) but I would 100% support any report that enourages people to think more broadly about when and why they use the term 'Mum' and 'Dad' in any situation......

    [Modified by: Evie_2006 on February 19, 2007 10:01 PM]
  • hi all. on this i would say that the staff that are caring for you should treat everyone as an individual and if it is a man and woman- then call them mum and dad a, then if 2 of the same sex then call them mummies or daddies. this is totally un called for. especially as most parents to be are so looking forward to the big day when baby finally arrives and you are finally called mummy or daddy.xx
  • PC= politicians crap! If anyone calls me anything other than mum when referring to my relationship to my baby i will go nuts!
  • I might have missed something but I would think that if you have just given birth, with a male birth partner, that it is pretty safe to refer to him as dad. Even if he is not the babies biological father if he is supportive enough to be there at the birth he probably deserves the title. It makes me laugh when people are so bothered about being politically correct they almost seem apologetic when asking if I am married! How difficult is it for midwifes etc to have a discreete look for a wedding ring? This wouldn't be infailable but it might give them a clue!
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