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Help at home - am i being unreasonable expecting the kids to help out?

Hi my name's Sarah and I'm new to all of this.

I just wanted to get some opinions without posting in social media.

I currently live with my partner, my daughter 12 and my son 10 months and we had his two boys 9 and 12 some nights in the week and every weekend Friday to Sunday.

My question really I being unreasonable expecting all the kids to help out a bit when it comes to the house. I don't mean big chores there my job I mean putting there rubbish in the bin and picking up after themselves a bit maybe even on the odd occasion hanging up there washing.

I work as well as a housekeeper and I'm in the process of changing beck to a caring job 30+ hours a week so have training and such on my days off.

The house is really getting me down though as I spend 2 full day's cleaning it for it to end up a total tip again at the weekend, as I'm spending all of my days off tidying etc I never get a chance to catch up with friends or just relax and enjoy my little one. 

My partner does do bit like washing and ironing at the weekend but with regards the house isn't at all bothered so his solution would be to leave it all together which with a baby would be hard going as he is forever eating the older ones Lego and sweet wrappers etc so spend half of my day saying no!

What's everyone else's thoughts am I being unreasonable? X


  • firstly I just want you know I know EXACTLY how you feel !!! I have two girls 8 and 11 and my 9 month old son , I am forever running around the house picking little bits of the floor putting the girls things up out the way , they seem to find it impossible to put their rubbish in the bin and whenever I ask “ who’s is this “ they then argue about it and blame one another .

    i work 9-4 every day I clean my house in the evenings and Saturdays ( which is a waste of time as it gets trashed ) we have started pocket money so they have to tidy up after themselves , put washing In the wash basket , wash up after themselves I don’t expect them to clean the house just tidy up after themselves !! They have got better but they make me laugh how they feel so hard done by I know I have t helped much but wanted you to know you are not alone 😩

  • It did help me lots just knowing that someone else is facing the same battles, we also pay pocket money but because the boys only spend weekends with us my other half won't attach chores to it because his eldest does them at mummy's. Which is an augh moment, it's crazy isn't it. Hats off to you from another knackered mummy, I know one day they will appreciate what we did but right now it's just nice to know I'm not alone or mad lol xx

  • Unreasonable definitely not! I would expect all the children, even the stepchildren to tidy up after themselves and help set the table, clear the table etc. I don't think its harsh asking them for help every now and again even, but it would help if you and your husband are on the same page and he is asking them to help out too, rather than bad mum cop all the time. I work part time but ask my 7 year old to lay the table, tidy her room, she has to bring dirty clothes down and put clothes away. I also ask both children to tidy toys away at the end of the day and make sure they don't get too many toys out at once.

    I sound like a mean mum haha but little things add up and I will be more naggy if I have to do everything.

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