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Reception child problems

So my daughter is 5 and is in reception class at school. She’s very curious and obviously is still learning what is right and what is wrong even though I do try my best to always guide her as we all do in life.

Last week she got sent to the head teachers office with her class friend for apparently laughing at a boy who had his hair tied up in a pony. They both got really in trouble about this and apparently they got asked if they want to go and laugh at other boys with their hair up in other class rooms.

Although I do understand that it is not nice to laugh at others and I am totally against any form of bullying etc I feel as though she has been punished for something that she is learning rather than being taken to one side and explaining that sometimes boys can also wear their hair up too.

I don’t know if i am over reacting or not as the teacher doesn't seem to be understanding of this she is making me and the other parent feel as though our children are bullying.

I would just like a bit on advice how to tackle this problem, obviously speaking to my daughter has already been done I just feel as though the school are over reacting and making a mountain out of a mole.

Do you think I'm over reacting with how the school is handling this?

I just feel like they are making it more of a problem than it needs to be.


  • Wow, I think that is crazy of the school, how they have handled this situation - which to be fair, it should not even be a situation. Sure explain to the kids, boys can wear pony tails too, and that should be the end of it. And i say this as a mum who also has a daughter in Reception right now too.

    I have to agree with you totally, totally blown out of proportion and ridiculous behaviour by the school. Can i ask, what was the punishment? 

    If i were you, i would take some time with the teacher after school, and find out why this has escalated so extremely. 

  • Thank you. I know we all don't like hearing our children have acted up so I didn't know if I was just being a bit touchy or not. However, I'm glad you also think it has been taken too far.

    Apparantley the two girls was giggling for ages and would'nt tell the teachers what they was laughing at (she does get quite giddy) yes I agree she needs  to be told but then for them to send them to the head teachers office is a bit extreme I thought.

    They have always badges and when they are misbehaved they get punished by having them taken off them, then they don't get snack time etc.

    I totally understand the school needed to explain to them regarding this but I feel as though they have been a bit too extreme.

    I spoke to the teacher this morning along with the other parent and we was both made to feel as though our children were bullying the other child.

    I have spoken to my daughter and explained it isn't nice to laugh at others as she knows already she just said because he never wore his hair up before it just looked funny. The boy didn't get upset or even know it was the teacher just overhearing them laughing and poking at them to find out.

  • If your daughter had a shaved head and two lads stood laughing at her for ages would you think it’s okay? 

    I don’t know you but I imagine you would have felt your daughter was being bullied even though again it would prob be a learning issue. 

    Schools have to take these incidents serious early on to stop bigger issues down the way, a trip to the headteacher and a loss of break time snack doesn’t seem too harsh to me. 

    Sorry maybe just different views! 

  • I suppose I see it from the other side too Ally yes, I see what you are saying.

    I think its more the fact of the school expecting them to know they have done wrong.

    Like I understand they need to know that it isn't nice to laugh at others but I simply don't think they were being malicious or anything. I feel as though they should be explaining properly why it isn't nice to laugh at others not sending them to the head for him to ask if they want to laugh at other children.

    Thank you for your reply, I genuinely do see it from the other side too.

  • Ally, I see it from your view too - it's a good point well made, but still feel the situation was dealt with extremeness. Particularly for a little 5 year old. BJW could put this one down to experience? 

  • Yes definitely, thank you for your replys.

    I will just have to hope it doesn't happen again and realise she is still learning but she does need some sort of punishment to realise maybe.

    Thanks again! :)

  • Woah! I can’t believe she was sent to the heads office, this sounds like something the teacher could of dealt with herself, maybe giving the girls a chance to explain why they were laughing and apologising to the boy, it sounds as though its a suitable punishment if it‘d happened again but not the first time! I’m quite worried now as my daughter starts reception in September but she’ll only turn 4 in August and she’d Probably go up to him laughing saying your hair looks funny and I know if someone came up to her saying it she would laugh to and pull a funny face! And shes definitely not a bully she just has a sense of humour and if she said it to a boy and he got upset she’d be the first to apologise and give him a big cuddle! I agree with allybob too but only if it’s not the first time they’re so young with innocent minds they more than likely didn’t realise what they were doing and the teacher could of instantly stepped in and said that’s not nice we shouldn’t laugh at others I also disagree with taking snacks away ... we shouldn’t reward kids With food and we shouldn’t take away food either, I think the school handled this all wrong and I wouldn’t be happy if it was my daughter unless she kept on doing it when she’d Already been told not to! I hope the situation gets resolved soon! 

  • Thank you for your reply image Mummytolily

    I know its crazy. I do totally get that the problem needed to be adressed for them to understand that it isn't acceptable to laugh at others. As the other lady said how would I feel if it was the other way round. However the little boy didn't know while that still doens't make it ok its like the teachers have told them off for laughing not knowing what they was laughing at then they apparantly got in trouble for not telling the teachers why they were laughing and then this was the outcome. I just feel like they should have handled it differently as we all know what children are like. My little girl has got a brilliant sense of humour and like you said she gets so upset if she hurts anyone. They are making out as if they are being malious and intentionally laughing at him. It was just that he has had long hair since the start of reception but he has only recently started to wear it up in a pony hence why they thought it looked funny.

    I'm glad I haven't over reacted even though I have agreed with the school in a sense of she needed to be told but I think they did handle it too extreme.

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