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Should we or shouldn't we have a third child?

edited Jul 15, 2019 9:42AM in General chat

I am new to this forum and must admit I have never written a post. But here goes.

I am in turmoil about having another baby. We haven't even tried to conceive for a third, but we are in the midst of discussions surrounding the topic as would like to try soon if we do decide to go ahead.

I adore my kids. I have gladly not returned to my career in sport/teaching, although furthered my education in another field in the meantime. I also have a couple of other little projects to keep me occupied, but am otherwise a full time mum. It took me a long time to come to a place where I can say this comfortably, as my family is very career and independence driven and have openly commented on me following my 'dream' as an athlete.

Our youngest is now two. So we are beyond babyhood (although toddlerdom is not always easy- ha!) 

I have always wanted a third. My husband wasn't so keen initially, not because he doesn't love kids, but because he felt we are in a good place. Financially we're okay, we're not getting any younger and four is an easier number when it comes to most things (ie. holidays, cars, etc). 
Recently, however, he has started to come around to the idea. And just as he is doing so, I am finding myself worried about the complexities another babe could bring into our world.

There is a part of me that thinks we have two wonderful, healthy children. Am I being selfish wanting more, when actually we are now content as we are? I am now (nearly) at a place where I could put more time into my own interests and career, but without having to worry about having to find something immediately and not in my specific field (which could be different after the financial strain of having three).

There is more to the story. But I think there are many of us out there who are going through this dilemma. It's not easy being a parent these days- the expense of things and overwhelming expectations placed on us makes it painful to know what is best, even when our hearts try to persuade us otherwise. 

Thanks for listening, and please tell me if you're going through something similar or if you've had another and felt it a blessing or...?


  • Hello lovely, I could have written this myself. I have girls 4 & 2 and have felt the same as you. Cutting a very similar long story short we decided to try for a third. I felt like I would regret it in the long run and deep down it's what I want. I'm sure it will be challenging but at the end of the day I couldn't shake the feeling I wanted another baby. You have to go with your gut I'm my experience for me it's normally right. Hope my rambling helps. 
  • Whattodo007 we were in the same position a few yrs ago.

    Heres our story, as a child myself I always imagined 3dc but when we had the 2nd dc I suffered with terrible spd and at the point totally went off anymore with the fear spd could return. Anyway fast forward 6yrs and I couldn't shake the urge of this 3rd baby I had always imagined, after tormenting ourselves over whether it was a good idea as the 1st 2 dc were now 9&6yrs so just getting abit more "us" time, financially stable etc we agreed to see what happened and low and behold was pregnant by 3rd month. The pregnancy went by problem free and no sign of spd 😁

    Fast forward to now and we are 32wks pregnant with no4 (our last), having left such a gap between them exactly 7yrs between my youngest 2 (they share the same birthday!) I began to feel our youngest is so left out and a mile away from the other 2 that our family wasnt complete without one for her to grow up with. 

    My point really to all of it is only you truly know what you want in life and whilst theres times you question it, from experience I found the urge doesnt go away, in our case we are finishing with now 4 lo. Follow your heart the rest does work itself out and you will be amazed where life takes u x
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