Hurt and confused, please advice and opinions

so I apologise in advance as this will be long! I have a son from a previous relationship. I met someone new in 2017, he has a child, and he is 12 years older than me. I love him so much, and I was led to believe we wanted the same future, to be married and have a child. I must add we have had numerous arguments because of his life style. He has his own business, own home and decent amount of saving. He could have a good life but he’s got into drugs because of owning a rig and going to festivals / gigs because of it. He’s 40, has a 6 year old. We had a huge argument because he chose a festival over me when I needed him as I’d been in hospital. We sort of split for all of 24 hours. Now, 24 hours after I found out I was pregnant. I’m now 6 weeks. Bare in mind he knew I wasn’t on protection and knew the possibility after also saying he wanted a child with me! In the 24 hours we had split, he had apparently completely changed his mind about me, doesn’t love me etc. Although, I know this could be down to his friends as I they don’t me, they were with him that weekend, and because I turn down all drugs and I’m nothing like them. He knows I want to be with him and to have this baby. But he wants me to terminate. Saying it’s not fair on his first born, it will badly affect his mental health,  that he’s not ready himself (eventhough he’s had one before and is 40), and there may be a possibility for us to be together if I’m not pregnant. It’s like he’s tryinv to make out if I terminate there’s a chance for us. But I know for a fact that he’s talking to other women etc. I’m so heartbroken, confused and hurt. I wanted my family, that he said he wanted too. I love him so much. But all this stress is getting to me. I love him but I want my baby. 


  • I'm sorry for being so blunt,but he is an asshole an immature one too. He seems like he told you nice things so he could have his way with you. But when it comes down to it,he is full of lies. Try move on from him,and goodly k in your pregnancy, the last thing you need to be doing is looking after an immature druggie
  • You seem soooo nice and waaay too good for him! I think your baby would be lucky to have you as a mum, even if he doesn’t want to be the dad. I think you’ll just have to see if he steps up and stops with the drugs and wilder lifestyle. He’s not acting with any respect towards you which is unacceptable. It doesn’t matter how much you love him, if he’s behaving badly, he’s not giving you what you’re giving him and that’s unfair. Someone else will definitely love you back.

    take care and good
  • So sad to know but don't worry. He is not perfect for you. I think, someone must come to help you and must love you so much too.
    Take care.
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions