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Father not social distancing

Hi, my daughter has been visiting her dad (who lives with his parents) still through lockdown. At the beginning the conditions for her going were as long as they make sure they’re careful, preventing the spread of corona, hygiene, not allowing our child to see anyone etc. 
I’ve since found out that whilst my child has been staying at his he’s had a child family member from another household (who are not social distancing) go around to see our kid. He’s had friends around for a bbq, and he’s been spotted walking down the Street a couple times, carrying a crate of beer with different mates all from seperate households.
I have medical issues myself and a young baby here, to say im fuming is an understatement. I can’t believe that he’s put my family at risk and i trusted him to see her. I’ve said she cannot go around anymore and he’s denied it lying and just hasn't even replied back since.

I just wanted some advice on where do i stand here? How can he get away with putting us at risk like this, surely if we catch it because of him breaking social distancing then its a crime especially if one of us gets badly affected.
I also feel like he's an irresponsible parent, this isn't the first time he's lied regarding our daughter when questioned. I'm thinking shall i go down a court route when this is over? The dad is in his 30ʼs.

Replies

  • Yep, I would. Very selfish way he's got about him. That's my opinion though. I would be like you said beyond fuming. X
  • SP4 said:
    Yep, I would. Very selfish way he's got about him. That's my opinion though. I would be like you said beyond fuming. X
    He's demanding to see our child now saying if he doesn't see anybody else from now on then theres no reason why she can't go around and he'll seek legal advice. So im suppose to just believe him now after how unresponsible he's been over the peak x
  • Do you trust him fully with your little one? It is very irresponsible to put all your lives at risk for the sake of beer and meeting friends. Perhaps this will make him realise and change or perhaps it won't. The bottom line here is if he's trusy worthy enough to have her and whether you as a mother fully trust that. He is her father yes but it comes with responsibility as her father which from the sounds of its like hes doing a half arsed job. Its either he steps up to be a proper father to her the way he should be and put her safety first or it will have to be taken down legal route. Sorry to be so abrupt hun but if there's one thing I cannot stand is mums/dads being selfish when it comes to their kids. It makes me so mad when I hear it. I'm a mother of 2 married to dad and he's fab but my husbands twin doesn't give a shit about his kids and it disgusts me, my dad never cared about me and I see it everyday as I'm a teacher of primary ages and it really gets to me. Do what you think is right, follow your mothering instinct. Hope you ok xxx
  • I would be so mad about this. He is being selfish and not caring for your child. This virus can be spread so easily if he touches the beer then his eyes and gives it to you through your child. He could say your putting our lives in danger and until you change your ways you cannot see your child because what you are doing is total neglect 
  • @SP4 thank you for the advice. Hope you're doing well with all that's going on.
    With the coronavirus situation i don't trust him no, i know there's no way he's going to be social distancing, he'll be lying to have our daughter around. As far as he goes as a father, he is pretty much half arsed yeah, his mother does everything when my child goes there. When dd comes home all i ever hear about is what "nan done or said" she never talks about what she's done with Daddy, he's genuinely never spent any quality time alone with our dd (we've been split 5 years) he won't even pick her up on his own in the car.
    I'm just seeing how things go with the coronavirus atm and giving at least a few weeks until she sees them again, and that's dependent on how things turn out. After that I'll have to speak to citizens advice at least xx
  • @Runningmom77 hiya, yeah i did say this to him. He believes he's done nothing wrong seeing people. I've said my families safety comes first so i won't be letting her there until i believe it's safe enough, which his dumbass then keeps responding with "when will that be then" and if he can't see her soon he'll speak to someone legal x
  • this is really awful and sad, I'm sorry to hear you have experienced this. to be honest I would say first and foremost you are well within your rights to ban contact right now - it shouldn't have to come to that, but it seems like it will have to for the time being
  • Your very welcome hun...yes see how it goes and speak to the citizens advice if you feel its needed. Hows things now? I'm doing OK hun thank you abit up and down the last few months though but its getting better day by day. How are you xxx
  • AnnaE91 said:

    Hi, my daughter has been visiting her dad (who lives with his parents) still through lockdown. At the beginning the conditions for her going were as long as they make sure they’re careful, preventing the spread of corona, hygiene, not allowing our child to see anyone etc. 
    I’ve since found out that whilst my child has been staying at his he’s had a child family member from another household (who are not social distancing) go around to see our kid. He’s had friends around for a bbq, and he’s been spotted walking down the Street a couple times, carrying a crate of beer with different mates all from seperate households.
    I have medical issues myself and a young baby here, to say im fuming is an understatement. I can’t believe that he’s put my family at risk and i trusted him to see her. I’ve said she cannot go around anymore and he’s denied it lying and just hasn't even replied back since.

    I just wanted some advice on where do i stand here? How can he get away with putting us at risk like this, surely if we catch it because of him breaking social distancing then its a crime especially if one of us gets badly affected.
    I also feel like he's an irresponsible parent, this isn't the first time he's lied regarding our daughter when questioned. I'm thinking shall i go down a court route when this is over? The dad is in his 30ʼs.

    If he's lying about then then he's implying that your daughter is the liar ?? Her father saying his daughter is the liar I'd wash my hands of him go down the court route sounds like a right piece of work !! 
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