What age gap do you think is best (for older child and baby)?

I wouldnt have an age gap of less then 3 and a half years. For me its important to be able to give Adam my all at the time he needs it most and for him to have reached a level of understanding so that he can understand why a new baby needs so much attention too. Also pregnancy takes it out of you so I want to be past the stage where he needs to be carried all the time which wouldnt be the case with a younger baby or toddler.

The most important thing for me though has always been him wanting a new member in the family too. After all its not just about me and my dp - a new baby is a major thing and I want to be able to share that with him and talk about what it means and have him welcome the baby as a new member of the family (not a new play mate - thats not that important I dont think). Thats the stage we're getting to now and he keeps asking for a bay sister (because all his friends are getting them lol) but I still think he needs a year or so at least before he can give up his position as baby of the family and swop it for 'big brother'.

I think the new baby will also benefit from that gap because whilst a 3/4 year old still has a lot of needs that are important and need to be met they arent as physical as what a baby and young toddler needs and I will be able to give a baby that same level of care Adam had with less compromise then I would with a smaller age gap.

Obviously every family is different and we all have different beliefs about whats important so wondered what was important to everyone else.

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  • Hi julie,im Emma.
    I think the same to have an age gap in kids so you can devote your time.Me and my hubby said that we would think about another baby when Riley is in full time school(about 4/5yrs)his 3yrs this december.

    We might however have to reconcider when we want another as im currently being treated for endometrosis.I wont know the full extent of how bad it is until august this year.


    My main reason for wanting a baby when Riley was 4/5 is because at least then he can be included in whats happening.
    My 1yr older sister(25)has 4 boys and age range is 10yrs to 1 half yers and my 1yr younger sister(23)has 3 boys agea from 6yrs to 1yrs.We were all a year apart.hope that gave you some insight.Like you said everyone is different.
    Emma.xx
  • I think I would also prefer a little bit longer if I'm honest but theres only so long we can afford for me to be a sahm so thats also had an impact on the age gap we have chosen. I definetly wouldnt go lower then 3 and a half years though no matter how skint it made us lol. Adam is also 3 in December (26th) and we are going to start ttc just after so there will be a minumum gap of 3 years 9 months depending how long it takes.

    Good luck for August - I hope things go ok and you can do things as you planned them.

    I have 2 older sisters, an older brother and a younger sister. The age gaps between my older siblings range from 15 months to 2 years and 3 months but theres 4 years and 9 months between me and my younger sister and I think we both really benifitted from that.
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