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Am i being unreasonable?

I am sick and tired of picking socks, t-shirts, etc off the bedroom floor, putting the bread back in the bread bin, emptying the bath water out the bath(after John's been in it) and generally doing everything around the house. John seems to wander round completely oblivious to everything that goes on at home. Don't get me wrong i realise that he works very hard(he owns his own business and the hours are quite long), but at the same time looking after a baby isn't exactly a 9 to 5 job! I get up before him in the morning and he lies in bed while i see to Cameron, he doesn't come home until 6 o'clock(an hour before Cameron goes to bed) and for the past fortnight he's been back out the door by half 7(so he can go and work on his rally car, which he does in his spare time) so i'm left sitting myself until about 11.
We spend little enough time together as it is, and for the next 2 weekends he'll be away rallying so his next weekend off will be 1st December!
I'm really sorry for ranting on, but i'm sick of running round behind him.
Aaaah that's better, maybe now i can go and have a civilised conversation with him instead of another row!


  • Hi Dawn,
    However wonderful having a baby together cn be it really does make having a relationship hard, Gillan and i rowed so much in the first year of ethans life.
    Gillan lies in bed most mornings whilst i get up with both kids his mum has told us both that i must let him lie in because he's the one that goes out to work!!
    Can you explain to him that being at home with a baby is actually quite lonely and try to agree with him that he works on the car every other night, i personally think that it would be very reasonable especially with him spending weekends on it.
    Is there any family that could help out with cameron over the weekends, i think it's too much for you to be on your own with him nearly 24/7.
    I don't think your being unreasonable your under a lot of stress too buy he's probably using the car to unwind and forgetting you need sometime two.Perhaps an evening out together would help? Take care get in touch if you want to chat xxx
  • Hi Dawn. You are absolutely not being unreasonable, and I know exactly how you feel. I am a stay at home mum and my hubby really thinks I sit with my feet up all day. I sometimes feel that I have two children as I pick up after hubbie as much as I do Bon.

    I wish my hubbie was into rallying, much more fun than football! I was a circuit marshal for years so I do appreciate the time these things take up and it isn't fair when you have a family. And rallying you can't really go along, no motorhomes or garages, you'd freeze!

    I hope things improve for you.
  • Hi Dawn
    I agree with Tasha that he is using the car to unwind but is over looking the fact that you need to unwind too and that your idea of unwinding would be spending some time together.
    I have a similar thing going on.
    My husband has a very demanding job which unfortunatley is not 9-5 He needs to unwind and does that round the golf course.
    I tell myself that without his golf to chill out with he would be unbearable to live with.
    I dont think you are being unreasonable.
    Tasha suggested an evening out together and I think thats a great idea(providing you have family to babysit)
    Hope you find a happy medium x
  • Thanks girls
    I feel much better today, think i just needed to have a good grump! I think i'm more upset with the fact there was no discussion over whether he was going to mull to do this rally, he just decided he wanted to do it and that was that!(Apparently he wouldn't stand in my way if i really wanted to do something, do you thing having a shower without Cameron in the bathroom would count)!!!!!
    I would completely understand him staying in bed if it was about 5 o'clock when Cameron got up, but John's still often in bed after 7(he starts work at 8)!!
    A night out would be lovely, a babysitter shouldn't be a problem(dragging John along may prove trickier)!!!
    Never mind i'm going shopping with my sister today, a bit of retail therapy always cheers me up.
    Chat soon x
  • Hi Dawn. Glad you feeling bit better this morning.
    Hope you enjoy you day with your sister
    and your weekend. Take care x
  • Hi dawn,

    How are you? I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, and I think it can be easy for you to become resentful of your husbands lack of understanding about your need to unwind too, I had the same problem with my husband until one day it all got too much and I just ended up bursting into tears shouting at him saying it was about time he pulled his weight and realised that he had to give me some down time too.

    Now, if I've had a tough day with Joseph when my husband gets in from work I tell him I need a break and he knows to take Joseph out for and hour to play in the garden or something so I can chill out, we always tell each other now when one of us needs some chill time to prevent the arguments we'd had before, it's not perfect but most of the time it works, and yes being able to have a shower in peace without Cameron in the bathroom is very important!!

    Takecare love jd_mummy xx
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