Nursery nightmare

Hi. My son Bon started a local school nursery in September and although he enjoyed it was finding adapting to the routine and discipline a little tricky but was improving. He only went in the afternoon, only for a little under two hours a day and after half term we tried him staying for lunch. He seemed OK but since last Thursday he cries when I leave him and he is unsettled and allegedly disruptive. He is not a clingy child, never has been so I don't understand what is going on. He has started just doing an hour in the morning but he cried again this morning and wouldn't let me go. He is due to start at a new nursery in January at a school closer to us which is actually better, and I don't know if I should persevere at this current one or withdraw him and start afresh in January. I hate seeing him upset as it is so out of character and I am so frustrated at the school's attitude to him, they say he is young for his age and yet they seem to forget that for the want for four days he would not have started nursery until September 2008.


  • Hi Nicolette,

    When Jack first started playgroup he was fine for the first few sessions then he started crying when I left him to the point where he would grab me so tightly we struggled to get him off me. With time it got better and one day he ran off to play the moment we got through the door. This did take about 10 weeks.

    If you are moving him anyway the temptation is to stop him going. Be careful though as he might think he has moved due to his crying. He could do this again thinking that you will stop him going to the new one. On the other hand, it's not nice to see them like that. If you will be happier pulling him out for these few weeks then do that, but you will have to be strong with the new one and persist if he cries when you leave him there.

    I'm sorry to go on a bit but I do hope this helps your decision.

    Zoe x
  • Hi Boo. He doesn't say, only that his teacher is 'naughty' which generally means he has been told off for something. He has had trouble sitting still on the carpet for quiet time and story time, and I know he gets into trouble for that. But I am not aware of any one event that has caused his current unhappiness there. He isn't even having accidents anymore (touch wood) and is using the toilet on his own which is what I thought would be the problem if there was going to be one.

    This is really getting me down, no one likes to hear bad things about their child especially when you don't understand where it is coming from. I know he is no angel, but I also know he is no devil either and handled correctly he is fine. Maybe my hormones are kicking off and I am being too sensitive but I have been in tears several times today over it.
  • Hi Nicolette,
    Im so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like something has happened to unsettle him in some way. I would ask to have a meeting with the nursery staff to try and get to the bottom of the problem.

    I do not think you are being too sensitive. I agree with Zoe when she talks about moving him and being persistant at the new nursery, especially if he senses that him getting upset makes you upset.
    I really hope you feel better soon and it all gets sorted out sooner!!

    take care and dont forget we're here to chat to.
    Kas xx
  • Hi Nicolette,
    I'm sorry Bon is not happy at nursery.
    It must be very hard for you.
    I have to say, given the circumstances I would be inclined to withdraw him from his current nursery, and start afresh with the new one in Jan like you said.
    Neither of you need this upset at this time and it would be better for you both all round.
    I hope you work something out soon.
  • Thanks Kas, that is very sweet of you. I have people with children living around me but they all seem to have settled with hardly a peep, even the clingy ones and I don't think they'd understand.

    I talk to the staff quite frequently as I want to know how he is doing and there have been no changes that I know of. It is utterly unexplained that he has gone from being the most confident child I know to an unhappy little boy.

    I just got an envelope of papers from the new nursery and there are no fewer than four forms to fill in and send back as well as enclosing photocopies of his birth certificate and passport. Sounds a little OTT to me especially as I have already had to provide proof of residence. Has anyone else had to provide all this for their nursery?
  • My god, that does seem a little ott. Niamhs at Playschool, but they didnt want anything like that, I think I just had to fill in a registration form.

    I work at a Nursery (when im not on mat leave) and im sure they dont ask for that much. It may well be new rules coming in however. who knows?

  • I had to show them Jacks birth certificate to prove he was the age i was telling them he was, but no passport or anything. Charlotte starts a nusery in Feb and I have had to sign forms for example, to say i am happy for them to ring an ambulance if they feel it necessary! They have to cover everthing these days as some people would take a chance to put in a claim.
  • i completely understand the forms, because, like zoe says, they have to cover everything. At least you'll feel safe that they know everything about your child
  • Hi ya
    Well ive got this to come,we have got a meeting with the local nursery/school to enrol riley in the new year but his just setteled into creche and thats taken a good 6mths of him going all this year.Dont no what he will make of it but i guess its someting we got to get used to as we did it didnt we.

    Hope you slove your problem and hope the closer school makes a difference.

    Emma xx
  • Hi all. Nursery is still not going well. The last three days I have brought him home and had to change his clothes because he was wet from puddles, on Tuesday every item of clothing he was wearing was wet, and today he was also covered in glue. I had to say something. I reminded them that last time I mentioned that he was sopping wet I was advised that I should take some wellies in for him. They are still in welly the box unused... And I was also told in not so many words to not put designer clothes on him and expect him to stay clean and maybe I should consider the uniform for him. I did point out that even a uniform can get covered in glue and need replacing and they are not free either. And he doesn't wear designer clothes, I just prefer for him not to be seen in public looking like a tramp. My husband and I are seriously considering taking him out until he starts at the new one. I can but WON'T afford to buy new clothes every week for him to get wrecked. He is only there for an hour for heavens sake!
  • Hi Nicolette,

    The way things are going I think you should take him out of this nursery, draw a line under it and forget about it. Start a fresh with the new nursery in January. If the attitude of the staff is better there he may settle better.

    Other than that I hope you are all well.

    Take care, Zoe xx
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