How do you find the right balance...?

Replies

• pen-37297

  Feb 22, 2009 2:05PM

  hi. i felt the same .i have 5 kids. the more i have had the better i have felt about it, as it just happens. i have got 3 in primary school and my 4th is in nursery, so every night we have home works , that i do find hard as we need to sit down in the quiet and it isn't always easy with 5 kids. but oyu just find the time to do everything. i sometimes feel abit guilty about not spending as much time with them as i could, but sometimes it is hard. i can only do what i can do, and the ids are om for it. try not to worry too much about it. you will find it will happen naturally. xxxx

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• hayley_l

  Feb 22, 2009 2:58PM

  Hi kim, I was really worried when I went from 2 to 3 but I have to say that honestly It really didnt make a great deal of difference, someone once said to me that 2 children are more than double the work of 1 but 3 are no more work than 2 and I have to say I found this very true, as for the time factor, I personally found it a lot easier with bf as I didnt have to sterilise bottles and make them up, not to mention the washing of the bottles, I was lucky tho as my oldest 2 were at school when Alice was born, when Isaac (no4) was born Alice was only 2 and I thought it would be really difficult having 2 at home again and memories of how difficult it was when my second was born came flooding back but I can honestly say it was a breeze. I think you get more chilled out the more children you have. you will be fine and remember your boys may not be so demanding of you when the baby comes along as they have each other for company. xx

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• kyan2012

  Feb 22, 2009 3:40PM

  Hi, my lo is only 16 days old so we are still at the 'settling' stage but I am finding things hard with 3. Its not no3 that's the problem she really is a good baby.
  I have mentioned before to some of the ladies that my eldest who's 4 really has turned into a little monster. He was starting the same behaviour before baby was born but it was easier to manage as i did not have a baby to feed, change etc..........
  I don't feel like i'm depressed or anything but the situation has had me in tears as even WITH dh at home (and he has helped loads) there is never time to rest as my son is always demanding something. I know he wants attention good or negative. He never listens to me and I really don't know how i am going to cope when DH finishes paternity leave. DS who's 22mths is fine behaviour not changed he just wants to kiss and hug his little sister. None of son no1 bad behaviour is aimed at baby he says he loves her. Tried the reward chart to see if that would help so far he only has 1 sticker !!! lol
  Sorry Woomummy to gatecrash on your post with this.....kind of all came pouring out!!
  Can anyone suggest anything else to help?????
  However.....with all of this I love all my children and would not change having 3 for the world.

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• skinny-latte

  Feb 22, 2009 3:49PM

  I agree. When i had my first i was out of work who was going to employ a pg girl? so started looking again quite soon after he was born thinking it would take a while i ended up i had my choice of 2 jobs both wanting me start ASAP so i went back to work full time when he was about 11 weeks, I found it really hard to begin with. No.2 just fell into place after that, she was a really good baby apart from colic to begin with she was just a really content little thing & didnt walk until 18 months. No. 3 also fell into place (although a bit harder work than the other 2 including the birth!) I really I dont find 3 that much harder than 1 & I still work full time. Up until last June i done everything got kids up, dressed, to school/minders school run at 2 then back to work cook, clean the works, as hubby was at work early (8am) & home late (between 6 & 8pm). Now though i have it really easy hubby lost his job so he does most of it & school runs I actually get a lunch break now! its worked out for us, we save loads on childcare.
  
  Im hoping that 4 will be easier as ive been told before if you're gonna have 3 then have 4 as when they are older with 3 there is always one left out. i'm gonna post this Q to mums of 4 & see is it true!!
  
  If you can cope with 2 you will be just fine with 3 dont worry in fact no.1 &2 will be only too glad to help with bathing, running & fetching nappies etc.!
  
  

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• vikkijane

  Feb 23, 2009 5:44AM

  Hi i have 3 but my eldest is 6 she wasnt a problem it was with 2 and 3 as there is only 10 months and 2 days between them i found it really hard at first and i did end up in tears a few times, but i will say it does get easier you just kind of manange, but i found what helped was a good routine it was hard to get one at first as with a newborn its hard but i just kept perservering nad now i find it quite easy it still has its moments like when they are poorly but generally its not to bad, the hardest time i had was when james my youngest was a newborn, hes 7 months now but he had very bad colic and was a very demanding baby but he has grown out of this and is a lovley baby know i wouldnt change them for the world,
  vikki xx

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• Woomummy

  Feb 26, 2009 6:41AM

  I know im probably panicing to much and a majority of it is the pg hormones racing round..!!!! Thanx for all your replies - gives me reassurance it can be done....in theory if i coped with a nb and 14month old, i can deal with this...still have visions of the school run in the morning tho.....nightmare! xxxx

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