am i being to sensitive or is he a nobish

hubby told me today how he had sex with his ex in the loo's of a night club and it was fun, he told me to many details. and also of another time with a different ex.
he was just trying to make conversation with me, somthing he herd on the radio started him on that track.
but it's really upset me, i never wanted to know this stuff. i told him he's made me feel as if there's nothing between us he hasn't done before. and he said there wasn't but that doesn't mean anything to him he's not bothered that every thing sex wise with me he's done before and that he doesn't even think that deap about it. he said he's 18 years older than me so that would be the case and i'm being silly.
i've let it drop now but it has hurt me, would it of hurt you? or am i being a little ott about it?


  • hes being nobish hun

    why the need to share the details?
    id never want to know details of marts sex life before me !

    it wud prob hurt me to know all the little details

    hugs hugs

  • claire i feel as if every thing we done together, thats sort of naughty or exciting iykwim now isn't as he's already done them with some one else before me. i'm not his 1st for anything.
  • Yep he is being a little nobish!

    def not the time or the place. I have a 12 year gap with OH and I have made sure that he knows that I don't want to or need to, know any details.

    Kristy, you do have something special between you that no-one else has, your beautiful children and un-born child. Nothing else matters.

    I hope that you are not too upset, Take care x
  • Nobish

    I can see how you feel - Sam thankfully hasn't done it to that extreme but he had never had a proper relationship before me and just one night stands - it was awful when he first told me about it but I think of it this way that I had, had relationships before I met Sam and he's with me for a reason - I'm sure he didn't mean to be hurtful but can see why you'd be upset.

    I find when i'm in bed and something Sam has done upsets me I bring it up then - you can't really run away from there unless he wants to sleep on the sofa
  • i haven't let on that it's bothered me to much to him, he know's i wasn't happy with it but not that i'm upset over it.
    i'm going in the bath in a min to cheer my self up.
    he's got a child with some one else and has been married before so even those things are not new to him.
    we talk openly about lots of stuff, i just think details of ex's and sex shouldn't be in with that.
    glad some ones on my side with it.
  • Enjoy your bath and I agree with Sarah, if you still feel upset later, tell him when and where he has to listen to you! x x
  • i tried telling him the stuff about him and his ex having sex in the loo's upset me so he said "well i had sex with kerry (another ex) at a party in front of her mate, but i couldn't finsh it, i was juts in her etc etc etc"
    think my best bet is if he starts to tell me about another time i just say "shut up i don't want to know" i think he think's i'm ok talking about it, as we talk about every thing else.
  • He is being nobish

    I think he is being very insensitive, i wouldn't want to hear about my oh sex life with his ex at the best of times, let alone when i was pregnant and not feeling my best!

    If he brings it up again i would tell him to shut up!

    Hope you had a nice bath xx
  • Definately to much info Kristy! Why on earth do you need to know those things. You are not naiive, you know he had had sex with other women but you really don't need to know details, a little insensitive of him if you don't mind me saying. You just need to remember, he's with YOU now and you have the children so he obviously cares a lot about you, just maybe needs lessons in how to be tactful!!

    Try not to dwell on it, you don't need this kind of emotional stress during pregnancy.

    Take care, Zoe xx
  • Hi Kristy, first of all sending you a big, big, BIG hug. You are not in anyway being over the top. Some things you know have happened but you don't need it laid before you with all the gory details.

    Im with Sarah, you should tell him that he's upset you if you are still thinking about it tomorrow. He should know that you would be hyper sensitive to anything like this at the moment. As the others have said its you that he's been making the babies with...3 of them! And that is the important stuff. Lots of love xxx
  • I agree with everyone else!!! He really doesn;t need to share these details with you. I had a 5 year relationship before Gareth and he knows very little as we just don't talk about things! He doesn't like to think about my "previous life".

    Hope you enjoyed your bath and can put this to the back of your mind!!
  • I know something new you can do, give a nice new poke in the eye!

    In all seriousness thought he didn't need to tell you all that. Tell him how it made you feel, if he is still being insensitive then and only then poke him in the eye.
  • i say poke first! then talk!


    hope ur ok babes
  • lol, think poking him in the eye is a fine idea
    had a relaxing bath anyway. the subject seems to be long gone now, well for him anyway so feel if i bring it up now it could turn in to a bigger fight than it's ment to be.
    I am going to tell him at the 1st mention of a ex and sex (if it pops up again) that it hurts my feelings and i just don't want to know.
    he has very little tack, although he think's he has got tack iykwim.
  • Oh hun hope you can put him straight on it,im with the girls,you only need no if its important.

    Hope your feeling better.
  • I'm so going with the poke in the eye!!!

    How you feeling today? Better I hope!!! xx
  • I agree with everyone else, there was no need to tell you that. Ian is 18 years older and also has a 16 year old child from a previous relationship. But we dont and havent discussed what we have and havent done with other people previously. As far as we are both concerned that is all in the past and stays in the past.
    I hope you are feeling better about things now after relaxing in the bath. If he mentions anything you dont like again, tell him there and then. As if you dont he will think it is ok to say these things. Men can be daft sometimes and he propably still doesnt realise that it upset you.

  • well ladys i'm feel loads better today.
    he went to me this morning, "oh i forgot to tell you something yesterday" so said "it's not more stupid hurtfull c**p about one of your ex's is it" and he said "no it's ........."
    i feel a little stronger when i have you lot on my side
  • Good for you Kristy!! Big hugs xxx
  • Kristy,good for you,stick with it.

Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions