questions i need answered but too embarassed to ask!

hi every one this is my first pregnancy and i was just wondering about how my body is going to return to normal after i have my baby in june- it feels as if i'll never be confident in my own skin again (i had lost 2 stone last summer only to put back on 3 and a half) also i was wondering how long do we have to wait afterwards to make love (i know we'll be tried but its some thing we feel is important for a healthy relationship) and if i'm breast feeding does it get messy? any advice or presonal experiences would be much appreciated.


  • i have just had my second baby and i was a size 8 before i had my first 3 years ago i put on alot of weight with my first and none with my second. i am still not back to a size 8 im now a size 14 dont put too much pressure on yourself to lose the weight you will end up worrying too much about that and not realy be enjoying your time with your new baby.
  • Hi, it differs for everyone, you may be one of the lucky ones who spring back to normal very quickly, unlike me. It always takes a long while before I return to normal. I'm normally a size 8 but end up a size 12 for ages. As for sex, do it when u feel ready, theres no rules, although I'd say from past experience may be sore inside for at least 2 weeks after birth, even if your blood loss (known as lochia) is relatively low. I usually feel ok within 4 weeks but again, we all differ. Just dont put too much pressure on yourselves to get back at it quickly as you wont enjoy it!!
  • aww i know exactly how u feel, im worried about confidence and feeling right about my body image, it sounds really like im being vein but i can understand why u feel like it after loosing 2 stone. with me, i concieved on holiday after putting on about a stone!! so i wasnt too happy at the prospect of putting on another 2 stone or more (it wasnt a planned pg) but all i keep telling myself is that im going 2 diet safely and healthily once baba is born there are lots of excerises u can do at home and im going to try and go swimming 2/3 times a week when my babies settled into a routine, plus the best thing for them is fresh air so plenty of long walks with a buggy should shift some extra pounds of baby weight!! as u were a size 8 before you probably wont have too much trouble i was a 16 so im dreading it!! as for sex- ive read that after a normal delivery u have a post natal check up six weeks after and its recommended not to have sex until then (also because they discuss contaception with u at this appointment) but i suppose it differs depending on the delivery?? cant say about breastfeeding as ive never done it but i plan to and have been advised to buy muslin squares as they come in really handy. hope this had helped (sorry 2 ramble on at u!) xx
  • breast feeding as such isn't messy but it can get messy if your baby cries but isn't hungry because your boobs don't know the difference and can leak like mad and i found investing in a waterproof sheet was a very good idea because again if you leak at night at least it won't go all over the matress on your bed.
  • I guess the breastfeeding thing varries from person to person. I wore a sleep bra for the first few weeks with breastpads in as I did tend to leak but after about 6 weeks it stopped completely. I am still bf (lo is 7 months) and I never have any leaks at all. The weight thing varries as well, I eat what I want and was back in my jeans within 6 weeks. I am actually thinner now than before I got pregnant due to all the walking I do with the buggy.
  • omg so it is true that ur breasts leak when a baby is crying?? this is strange i thought it was a myth!! sorry i didnt know this its a bit of a shocker lol
  • Not only do they leak, han21, they also tingle and ache a bit!! But you get used to it!!
  • Hi, my baby girl is 4 months old now . I found my weight has virtually returned to normal now although I have always been petite, still have a bit of jelly belly!! But walking everywhere with the buggy is great exercise. As for sex I waited till I had my 6 wk check up with my GP. And it's ok the first time was painful as I had had an episeotomy, but the more you do it the better it is! And I kept my nursing bra on! as my boobs did sometimes leak it is a bit of a passion killer! But don't stress about sex othetwise you will build it up too much in your head. enjoy your pregnancy!
  • hi, doctors will tell you to wait 6 weeks after you hav bubs before u have sex because of infection and ur vagina needs to heal. also if u breastfeed the weight will jus fall of you because the baby is taking all the fat and nutrients from the food youve eaten for themselves, but if you dont, dont worry too much about it for a while. jus enjoy ur bubs an enjoy being a mummy!! who knows u may not even need to go on a diet or anything to lose the weight, jus try eating as healthy as possible or ttake bubs for walks every morning!
  • thanks a million ye've all been a great help, the summer is coming in already so i'm really looking forward to getting out walking with my buggy-i have it bought since january i loved it so much! i plan to wait until i'm compleatly ready to have sex but its nice to know how other peolple dealt with it. and i've heard that breast feeding helps the weight falll off so here's fingers crossed. i've 7 wks 3days left and i feel like i'm going to crack up!
  • Sorry but I disagree mum19, the weight simply does not fall off cos you breastfeed, at least not for everyone and certainly not for me. I'm petite and not a lard arse, I eat healthily and I breastfed both my children and will do this one. We are all different!
  • hello,
    I'm due early oct with my 2nd baby my first is now 3 and i completely agree with FunkyRabbit, it took nearly 2yrs to get confident with my body again and get back to a 10, however i find im still reluctant to walk round infront of my fiance naked, let alone sleep with him after the baby it took us over 6months!! Breast feeding doesnt always reduce your weight quickly i ended up with a 34G chest, not the easiest of things,remember its not always great to cut out all rich food when you're feeding either as often your baby needs stuff maybe you dont....good luck though it's the hardest but best and most rewarding thing you'll ever do!
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