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What happens when you can't conceive?

Hi ladies, so I was just wondering what happens when you go to see the dr following being unable to conceive. What happens at that first appointment? Does my husband need to attend it. Thanks in advance, we have our first appointment next week and not sure what to expect x


  • hi Sarah... well.. it will be better for both of you if your husband attends it too. Most probably doctor will explain point by point your situation. Then he will advise what you can do next. Nowadays medicine has evolved a lot so there are always new treatments and hopes. Best of luck..

  • Thank you so much for the replies ladies. We have to try for another year but I'm going for more bloods this week and having the scan to check my tubes! AF has just arrived again so feeling completely fed up

  • you are welcome.. we are always here to support each other. That's good news! Keep on trying.. that means you still have chances to be a mom. Sure the new tests will bring answers and solutions. Meanwhile.. you can indulge yourself to feel better and find your inner peace.. Don't give up your dream.. =)

  • hi sarah! i just found your comment. when you go to the doctor for infertility problems, they practice you tests. It's important that your husband goes with you because he need to get tests too. The doctor will explain you what can be causing the infertility. Then, depend of the diagnostic, comes the treatment. Exist really good treatments for infertility. I hope everything goes well for both of you.
    When i went to my first consult, i was really scared. But then i realized it wasn't so bad as i expected. they test my blood, my tubes and other things. My husband had a sperm test too. Doctor was great and the clinic too! They were very helpful with all the procedure.
    I give you my support and my best wishes!
    don't worry, we can win this battle xx

  • Hey Sarah! Your story is some what of my kind. I am just a commoner like you. I have been married since past 5 years and like every woman I have been TTC since then. When I wasn't able to do so, I had to consult a doctor. Upon examination I was diagnosed as anorexic and  it was all due to my improper eating habits. The doctor recommended me certain tests which included LH and FSH. The test results showed low levels of all those hormones which were required to conceive. This is not it, I had irregular cycles and heavy bleeding due to which I had to see a senior surgeon. To my surprise the surgeon said that  I had ovarian cancer which is a common complication of anorexia. It was very painful to hear that I have reached at a stage where being a mother could remain just a dream. My health was falling day by day. I had to face extreme hair fall and fatigue. Back aches and head aches were my partner throughout the day. Every day the disease used to become worse and worse and the thought of remaining infertile haunted me every single second. But I'm still looking forward for some positive hopes. 

  • Hey Sarah! Since I have already posted my story I would further like to tell you the details. The test which I told earlier about just required a sample of blood. The results were out in the CBC picture. A complete blood count (CBC) is a blood test used to evaluate your overall health and detect a wide range of disorders, including anemia, infection and leukemia. A complete blood count test measures several components and features of your blood, including: Red blood cells, which carry oxygen. Secondly you will go through a series of screening to identify the actual cause of your infertility. Tests usually include a physical examsemen analysis and special procedures. Special procedures  include endometrial biopsy, a laparoscopy, or a hysterosalpingogram,which may cause some pain. Your husband should accompany you because his presence is important as per my experience. If you need any more assistance please feel free to ask. I have been taking these tests every other day. 

  • Magic, raven and Emily thank you so much for your replies. It makes me feel less alone in this pretty lonely journey. Emily I'm so sorry about the findings of the test, I hope you are on the road to recovery now? 

  • Hi, I also have a similar question. What should be the next step case in case I don't conceive the first time? does the clinic provide any alternatives? You guys are quite brave to have covered your journey. I don't really have an appointment already but I think I will need soon. Maybe i will go in like few months because we were trying to conceive but did not for the past few months, without protection and stuff. I don't know maybe I have a problem or my husband has. Which method should I opt for?Or what I should look out for while choosing the method or we are not given any choice at all. I am pretty afraid to cover my journey and giving up this idea of IVF and all. It is quite intimidating. But my husband says its really nothing and there is nothing to me afraid about. I feel like I should go for adoption and surpass this tension.

    Thanks in advance 

  • Sarahj1985 hope you are feeling better. Is there any update? 

    @mekusha123 yes, you and your partner should make an appointment with a fertility expert and see which options you can have. You will have to do some tests. It varies from person to person.

    Then you can make a decision on what to do next.

    Good luck!

  • Hi Mekusha, 

    Actually, you need to go to a fertility clinic if you've been TTC for approximately 1,5-2 years with no luck. If you're 40+, then it's 1 year TTC, if I'm not mistaken. If there's a problem detected, they will try to solve it. The fertility specialist might advise you to have IUI or ICSI. It usually takes 2-3 cycles to conceive. If it doesn't work, then there's IVF. And if that doesn't work, then you can have a surrogacy motherhood. If it appears that your egg cannot be fertilized, you can use a donor egg (for IVF or surrogacy). As for me, the final option is adoption...

    My story is a sad one :( My hubby and I were TTC for almost 3 years. It became obvious that we had problems, so we went to the fertility clinic. Our doc told me that I could conceive only via IVF. And so... I've had 5 IVFs, all unsuccessful. After the last cycle I was diagnosed with severe endemetriosis. I'm almost 43 now, so I guess the only option for me is surrogacy, as I still hope to have a child from my own egg. Right now I'm considering this option and searching for a corresponding clinic. I really really hope that my journey will have a happy ending...

    And I wish everyone to have your dreams fulfilled! Loads of baby dust to you! 

  • Hey Sarah! Its best that your husband attends too as it’s a big step in your life and it’s better that you both are present. For new moms the doctor tells everything point by point and with detail. Feel free to ask anything without hesitation since it’s your first baby. I hope I answered your query sufficiently. God bless!

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