It was great whilst it lasted :-(

e81wilkins · Oct 30, 2009 2:19PM

Well ladies, I am sorry for a miserable post, but just wanted to update you all.

We went for the 7 week scan today and the lady said the baby hadn't grown in a week and they still couldn't detect a heartbeat......it's all over.

Now just waiting for the embryo to come away

Hope you are all ok?!?!

Emma x

LDOM · Oct 28, 2009 3:37PM

I'm so sorry Emma - I can't say anything to make you feel better, but sending you a huge ((((hug)))) x

e81wilkins · Oct 28, 2009 3:39PM

Thanks very much LDOM- it's just soooooo rubbish!

Never mind- onwards and upwards :-/

Emma x

MrsD-69938 · Oct 28, 2009 3:53PM

Oh Emma, I am so, so sorry. That is so sad.

I had a very early MC back in Jan, and people never knew what to say. Some said "At least you know you can get pregnant" - and in time, that did help me. It will happen - you will be a mum.

I'm so sorry - you (and MrEW) must be feeling very raw right now. Take care of yourself.

xx

TBDtinybabydancer · Oct 28, 2009 6:17PM

Oh Emma, I am so very very sorry to read this post. My heart just sank when I saw the tite. It really must be devastating. Give yourself time to grieve for your baby and take good care of yourself. I will be thinking of you xxx

rachieblonde · Oct 29, 2009 5:10AM

Oh Emma I am so so sorry, sending you much love and hugs. xxxx

e81wilkins · Oct 29, 2009 6:31AM

Thanks very very much everyone- it's the ultimate dissapointment for us and was the las thing we expected. I hope to never see DH as sad as he was yesterday

TBD I am taking today off (having gone in at 7am and done some stuff, but not concentrating at all) and am waiting for DH to come home for the afternoon. Maybe I'll take tomorrow off too :-/

Just about to look online and consider what other options are open to us but not sure where to start!

Thanks again everyone xxxxx

twinkletwin · Oct 29, 2009 10:37AM

Emma, I'm so so sorry to hear that. I had tears in my eyes reading your post.

I went through exactly the same after IVF earlier this year, so if you want to ask me any questions about what happens, please let me know.

Thinking of you, and feeling your pain x

e81wilkins · Oct 29, 2009 11:14AM

Thank you luckstar I appreciate what you said there and would very much like to know what you did next?

It's like the past 3 years have been a waste and we are back to square 1, with no idea re the way forward.

I've even been looking into IVF abroad, so at least we would have a couple of goes with what we have saved, but not sure if that's a good isea either- aaarrgghh!!!!

Emma x

littlemonkey10 · Oct 29, 2009 11:28AM

Im so sorry hon.

Just if in response to tx abroad, ive also considered it, there are loads of options but if you want some advice there is a very good tx abroad forum on another website... FF. They list all the clinics and have literally tons of ladies on hand to tell you there expereinces, down to costs, waiting lists, hotels, resturants, sightseeing etc, I found what looks like a great clinic, so may go down that route in the future.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do next.

Hugs x

e81wilkins · Oct 29, 2009 11:32AM

Thanks Gem that's worth knowing. I didn't really consider checking UK forums, for fear of being put off by people being negative. I've almost decided that if we do go abroad, I'm not going to tell my family, as they would def try to put me off :-/

Thanks again

Emma x

twinkletwin · Oct 29, 2009 12:07PM

We're pretty much still in limbo really. Had treatment in April/May, BFP and then bad news at the 7wk scan, with no warning bleeding or pain. I opted to wait to m/c naturally, which didn't happen til I was 11+1. I also had a spontaneous pregnancy ending in m/c at 7wks in December, so have been seen at the recurrent m/c clinic recently, and luckily, all our results are normal.

We could have started treatment again in 10 days (again, self-funding) but we have opted to delay it for a few months. We have 'unexplained infertility' and DH's SA are very variable, so natural conception is not impossible. I used to see IVF as the 'quick fix' answer to all our problems, but after enduring the heartbreak of the ups and downs, I'm not so sure now. However, that's just my feelings and I would hate to put anyone off as it works for so many people.

Our plan is to keep trying, in the unlikely event that it will work, but will think about another go at treatment in Spring - probably at a different UK clinic, as I don't have much faith in the previous one.

Take all the time you need and don't rush into anything. I didn't tell my family I was doing it last time, as I thought they would try to dissuade me (?sp!).

Thinking of you at this difficult time x

e81wilkins · Oct 29, 2009 1:34PM

Many thanks luckystar.

I think we are going to hold fire and pray for a miracle before summer, then think again.

I thought IVF was a quick fix too, but now understand the relevance of the "live birth rate" stats, compared to the "IVF success rates". It hadn't really hit home what they were trying to say until now!

Good luck and let's hope we both get some great natural news before starting the IVF ball rolling....again!

Emma x

twinkletwin · Oct 29, 2009 3:05PM

Good plan Emma. Stranger things have happened!
I remember Fairy got a natural BFP a few months ago, the cycle after a failed IVF attempt.

Look after yourself and take all the time you need. Do not push yourself into going back to work so soon-you need time to recover physically and emotionally. I found emotional recovery much harder and am still trying to get there.

xxx

TBDtinybabydancer · Oct 29, 2009 6:04PM

Hey Emma, the others have offered some fab advice by the looks of it already. I think you should give yourself all the time you need from work etc. You have been through a huge amount, physically, emotionally and mentally.
I looked into tx abroad but decided against it for now. But it does seem to be a lot cheaper and the real pro for me was being on holiday so not having to fit it in around work!
Take care of yourself sweetie xxx

e81wilkins · Oct 30, 2009 11:25AM

Yeah thanks TBD & Luckystar.

I have had a much better day today and even had a g n t with lunch :-/

Times allegedly a great healer -here's hoping!

Emma x

twinkletwin · Oct 30, 2009 11:31AM

Good for you!

I actually could do with a cheeky wee G+T now but unfortunately I'm still at work!!!

Hope your weekend is bearable, and that the next few days aren't too hard for you.

xxx

e81wilkins · Oct 30, 2009 12:17PM

Cheers Luckystar- it felt a bit wrong still, but I totally know it's all over with this baby, so there seemed no reason not to indulge and take the edge off things!!!

I'm sure this weekend will be alright- I only shed a couple of tears today when interflora delivered some lovely blooms from my sis, so that's not bad going for only day 3 ;->

Have a good weekend xx

twinkletwin · Oct 30, 2009 2:19PM

I know what you mean about feeling wrong-I felt the same. But you're not, and anything that numbs the feeling just a little bit, is right. You have done amazingly well to get to day 3, and you will find that silly little things set you off over the next while.

I still shed the odd tear for our 2 angels, and have 2 mini trees in the garden, 1 to represent each of our babies.

Have lots of cuddles with your OH, and don't let anyone tell you what's wrong or right x

It was great whilst it lasted :-(

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