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to wait or not to wait..... grateful for your opinions

This is rather longwinded, but if anyone can give me a steer, I'm grateful for opinions today as I'm having a bit of a dilemma! Thanks x (also posted in PAI - sorry for the duplication!)

OH and I have been umming and aahing lately about our next step. Firstly, I (stupidly) convinced myself I'd get PG this month - but on CD51 now and did another test this morning and BFN so I really think I should give up the quest for September. Which also means my 'little plan' for a relaxed holiday BFP is probably out, because I'm pretty much bound to get AF just as we go on holiday. Which is annoying.

So, back to the IVF drawing board..... Last month I was amazed that we got an NHS appointment (which I went to today) so we've put off booking a private one, to see what the NHS situation would be. If it's a matter of waiting just a few months, then we'd do that. We can only afford one more private round.

Basically, I've been told that I could have two rounds funded on NHS. However, we'll realistically have to wait 6 months for this. Nothing can get processed until I have CD1-4 bloods (so, if AF comes on holiday, that'll put me back another cycle, which could be another couple of months). So we're looking at next April / May before the 1st IVF.

If, in the meantime, we go private, then we can still have one round of NHS IVF but will forfeit the 2nd one.

Before IVF, the NHS will give me clomid - which will help regulate my OV but won't help us on the 'sperm' front - even though OH has quit smoking, I'm not sure we can rely on his swimmers, so that may be a waste of time. Or not, I'm not 100% sure.

After our two failures (one ICSI and one FET), I'm conscious that we might have to have several more IVF attempts before we get a result. So, if we wait the 6 months we could potentially have three rounds (2 NHS and then, if necessary, 1 private). But April seems a lifetime away. Perhaps we should use our private one now, and then we'd have 1 NHS one available. It's a lottery - wait for the chance to have 3 cycles. Or go for it now and have 2.

The other factor is - if we go private asap and I get a BFP, I'll be able to go back to work part time from Jan - June (covering the maternity leave). If not, then I won't be going back to work - as I'll need to leave my diary free for IVF.

OH and I are going to chat about it tonight when he gets home - he'll probably leave the final decision up to me and I've got no idea what to say!

Sorry, that's massively, longwinded - but my question is, would you wait for the NHS or would you go for a private one before xmas?

Thanks - if you've got to the end of this message, then you deserve medals! xxxx

Replies

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    Hi there. What a difficult decision. Can I ask how old you are? As that would be one of my deciding factors.

    X x
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    Hi, thanks Ladybird. I'm 35. That's definitely one of my worries..... we've been TTC for 5 yrs now (although only 2 1/2 seriously focussed) On my down moments, I just feel the years ticking away really quickly. Another 6 months feels like a huge wait. But then again, 6 months to chill out, forget about TTC, relax in the knowledge that we have 2 free cycles. With my last two treatments, it certainly affected me knowing how much it was all costing - and to have a failure after all that seemed like such a pity. Not that I wouldn't throw my whole life savings at it if I knew it would bring a baby!! But it's just making the decision......
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    Ah, thanks my lovely!!! Just saw your post.... right back at you hon! xx
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    Hi Lily

    I am 33 and when faced with a similar dilemma (except was facing a much longer wait) I chose to go private. I think it is worth bearing in mind the fact that it may be possible to get more money but you cannot buy back time and not just because of age but also the time you might be spending being sad about not getting the illusive BFP. I don't know about you but almost everyday it makes me unhappy to some degree and I feel like I am missing out and for that to stop would be worth a lot of money!! I will miss out on all my NHS funded treatment and am paying ??3k plus to have the same treatment in the same hospital!! DH luckily agreed but then it was also strongly recommended by the consultant too.

    Good luck in whatever you decide.

    xx
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    Thanks Debbie - I know exactly what you mean. It must be slightly grating when you're paying so much and it's at the same place as you'd be treated on the NHS - but I'll bet you're so pleased to be well on the road to a (FINGERS CROSSED) BFP. Wishing you masses of luck honey. I really hope we're soon reading good news from you.

    Zoe - GORGEOUS GIRL!!!! Have just replied on other thread so won't repeat myself. But yes, you're right - we're at Nuffield so probably going through similar process as you. And yes, we have to do all the bloods again anyway. We're going to go the NHS route, so I guess we've got our sensible heads on too ..... nice to hear you say the stuff we're thinking of too.... it sort of confirms it in my head.
    Thanks for the comment about our hols too - I'm feeling so cross that we won't be able to 'try' on hols, but as you say, that could be a good thing as it takes the pressure off.
    As for meeting up - yes, great idea. Will log on when back in a few weeks and we can sort. Sending buckets of hugs - hope you're feeling better and better every day. xxx
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