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Disappointment and unsure of what to do
Dear All,
contrary to saying I would not write on these boards for a while. I feel as if I need the support again as there are no others in our everyday lives who understand or feel what we are encountering.
With the recent postponing of our planned IVF month after month by our clinic due to high Estrodial levels at the beginning of the cycle. I suggested that they allow us to do an IUI.
This was performed Mid June and the 2WW was excruciating to say the least. At least the last 3 days of it as every time my wife went to the toilet she was worried to see her AF having arrived. It did not arrive and then yesterday morning we went for the pregnancy blood test (having resisted using HPTs). A few hours later we received a call saying the results were Equivocal meaning her HCG levels were not conclusive as to whether she was pregnant or not. Above 25 and you are pregnant, below 3 and your not pregnant. Her level was in this >3 and
contrary to saying I would not write on these boards for a while. I feel as if I need the support again as there are no others in our everyday lives who understand or feel what we are encountering.
With the recent postponing of our planned IVF month after month by our clinic due to high Estrodial levels at the beginning of the cycle. I suggested that they allow us to do an IUI.
This was performed Mid June and the 2WW was excruciating to say the least. At least the last 3 days of it as every time my wife went to the toilet she was worried to see her AF having arrived. It did not arrive and then yesterday morning we went for the pregnancy blood test (having resisted using HPTs). A few hours later we received a call saying the results were Equivocal meaning her HCG levels were not conclusive as to whether she was pregnant or not. Above 25 and you are pregnant, below 3 and your not pregnant. Her level was in this >3 and
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Replies
I don't think we have "spoken" before, but I have been following your story.
This whole process can be so heart breaking, I'm not sure where we all find the strength!
I was wondering, and you can tell me to mind my own, but what are the reasons why you are trying to conceive via IVF?
The reason I ask is because I am on the verge of IVF referral, but have been investigating DuoFertility. Its quite expensive, but I will do anything if it means I get my baby, Go onto their website and have a read.
But depending on your reasons for IVF this may not be any good.
I wish you and your wife all the luck in the world with whatever course of action you take next.
Love TW xx
I think only you and your wife can decide what is best for you. I guess there are various options. As you say taking a little time out to recharge your batteries...maybe go on holiday or treat yourselves if you can afford to alongside the expense of IVF. If you are not already doing so some counselling may be helpful (I found it invaluable).
If you want to keep trying with the IVF, maybe you could consider looking at other clinics who specialise in low ovarian reserve - The Lister in London has some v good results with this. Along with the ARGC they have the highest success rates in the country. There are also things that your wife can try taking to imporve her ovarian reserve (such as DHEA) - I don't know anything about this apart from that it seems to have helped some women. LDOM who used to post on here has a blog and she is going through a similar experience and seems to have had some success with a vitamin regime she is taking.
http://movingontothenextplan.blogspot.com/
I really don't know what else to suggest. Nothing can take away the awful pain of LTTTC, but try to be kind to yourselves and get support wherever you can. Wishing you and your wife all the luck in the world xx
I'm sorry things have not gone as you had hoped. Hang in there, I know its not easy x
thank you once again for your support.
Firstly in response to your questions, we have unexplained infertility. The tests all came back saying everything with both of us was okay. We are at the ARGC and maybe will think of moving to Lister now especially as they are suggesting that my wife has a low ovarian reserve.
We opted for IVF as we had been TTC for a while and then the clocks are ticking and thought that we need to progress with things as we are not getting younger. I am almost 38 now and my wife is soon to turn 37.
We are both quite positive people but set back after set back can knock anyone down.
My dear dear wife is going through so much of the grief of losing the twins last year and now desperately wants a baby.
I am thinking it might be easier for us to go abroad and get an egg donor in a country where the costs are lower than here. But then again I keep telling myself we should have one more attempt with IVF here. We have only been through one fresh IVF cycle.
I pray so hard and have a strong faith although I have questionned it often, but I bounce back with the support of these boards and the love for my wife. I am sure we will get there one day and all this will just be a distant sad memory.
As I say to my wife, we will always have the memories of the twins and no one can take those away, even if they weren't with us long, we will always have them.
Thank you again all of you. I pray that god gives each of you the strength and encouragement that you have given me and the happiness that we all so long for.
I would recommend giving the Lister a go in that case. I went there and was v impressed. There is a board for Lister on fertility friends which you may have already seen and there have been quite a few success stories from women with low ovarian reserve. From what I can gather they seem to give it a go a bit more than the ARGC will....which I guess could be seen as both a good and bad thing...but it's amazing that, against all the odds, some people can end up with only a couple of eggs, 1 embryo and a baby at the end of it. Maybe go for a consultation - I think some of the docs there are better with low ovarian reserve than others.
I can understand your wife's grief over losing the twins. It is not the same but I lost ID twins early on in this pg. I was v lucky to have another singleton baby on board who is now wriggling around inside me, but I do still think of my twins every day and feel so sad that I will never meet them. It is a loss, like any other, and your wife needs to grieve....which is where some counselling could help.
I wish you so much luck and I know you will get through this together from the way you speak about your faith and yourlove for your wife. x
I know its easier said than done but keep hanging in there and keep the hope alive I'm sure you will get your good news soon.
I am not sure what I would do in your situation it is difficult you probably do want to take a step back and perhaps a few months off the treatment which is so gruelling and such an emotional rollercoaster but at the same time there is the constant worry about your wifes ovarian reserve. I do not know anything about the lister but I would definately give it a go, they may have a fresh take on things and give you some positive news.
Whatever you decide please don't give up on your dream you both sound incredibly strong people and you will be such fantastic parents and the twins will always be there to protect their siblings.
If you feel up to it keep us posted
Thinking of you both
Rhian x
I had the worst time of my life last year when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and narrowly avoided having a hysterectomy. I am now in remission and thankfully able (technically at least!) able to have children - although we are undergoing fertility treatment as it's not happning easily for us. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through the past 12 months had it not been for my lovely husband who supported me every step of the way despite his own fears.
The point I am trying to make is that the very fact that you are so aware and understanding of your wife's pain at this time (and lets face it, you're grieving too) means that you can support each other and get through this. There will be happier times for you both at the other side - you need to tell yourself that and believe it.
You both sound like determined people and I am sure you will make your dreams become a reality, even if you have to travel a longer or more difficult journey than you imagined.
I don't know if these words have been of any help to you. I would love to give you a hug, but this will have to do ((:cry
Take care,
Sarah xx
Thank you ever so much for your very needed reasuring words. And you are all right, both my wife and I are incredibly lucky to have one another to support each other through hard times. She is an angel and while I hurt, it hurts more to see her in pain. Time seems to be something that helps put things back in to focus.
The reason they believed my wife had a low ovarian reserve was that on day 1, 2 and 3 here Oestrodial levels, FSH levels were high in the last few cycles.
This cycle they measured the levels and they were 8.5 FSH and 126 Oestrodial. Within the normal ranges. Almost dismissing the diagnosis of low ovarian reserve.
The ARGC have now suggested to go back on the long protocol. I presume that the belief is that there is no low ovarian reserve to deal with. Kind of relief in a way.
We had IUI in her last cycle and she was late with her time of month. We were both a little excited although not allowing ourselves to be excited properly. It turned out to be an early pregnancy loss. Maybe just a couple of days of being pregnant.
We are both being very positive and also thinking in terms of every treatment we have had has worked, although we don't have a baby it still means that it will be possible.
We have decided to carry on with ARGC and go for a fresh IVF cycle. I think this will be the best course of action.
It is remarkable how much you learn about pregnancy, hormones, etc through this journey. There will be billions of women out there who will never appreciate how delicate a pregnancy is and what a miracle it is that so many women have babies without encountering any issues,
Tinybabydancer congrats on your pregnancy, I shall pray that you have the smoothest journey to a health delivery of your little one.
If things don't work out for us at ARGC then we may give Lister a shot. For the moment we are sitting tight with Mr T.
thank you all again for taking time to respond to my post. It means a lot !
I am so sorry to hear of your disappointment. I think it is wonderful that you are so in tune with your wife and she with you. I have suffered the loss of 3 babies in the past few years, and I can understand the pain you feel. My husband also said he hates to see me in so much pain when there is nothing he can do to stop it.
It sounds as though you are both very level-headed and positive people, and as long as you maintain this, you will realise your dreams of being parents.
Although I cannot offer any better advice than that already offered, I do wish you every luck in your coming treatment.
KC