Forum home Getting pregnant IVF & assisted conceptions

how long did you wait?

Hi girls,

Am after a bit of advice. We've been trying now for four years and, after our Dr told us I had endo / polyps, I had the op to laser it all and he found that I didn't have it after all (!). So now we're back to 'unexplained sub-fertility'. They've said we should go straight for IVF. The thing is, I really don't want to start this too soon, if there's any alternative. If it's unexplained, then surely we could get PG naturally. We've gone down the private route and I think they're being very quick to dismiss any other things that may or may not help us. So my question is, how long did you keep trying before going for IVF? and what made you go for IVF in the end?

Also, if we do start IVF, my OH says that perhaps I should quit work (or take a long sabbatical) as I've got quite a stressful job. What did you do? Is is possible to carry on working as normal when you are having IVF?
Every month I'm just praying that I get PG so we don't have to go down this route, but I'm not sure how much longer we should go on before saying this isn't working!! And, with no medical reason why not, it's getting frustrating.

I took myself off for a few weeks to get my head together and am now back and feeling really positive. I want to be as proactive as possible whilst I'm feeling optimistic. It's been a really tough year and I'm sure this hasn't helped with our fertility.

Thanks xx


  • Hi Hun,

    I can tell you what ha happened tp us and that may help image

    We went to the clinic and oh did his sa which they said had lots of antiboides and are chances of getting pg naturally are slim to none. We too went private and asked if we should do another one in a few months but was told that ICSI was our only step and redoing the test would be pointless as it wouldn't change, he would of most likely had it all his life. I should mention now that i had got pg 2years ago but had a early miscarriage. Anyway so we had treatment straight away and it didn't work image but when we went for our follow up what went wrong meeting friday turns out my oh sample he gave on the day of egg collection was fine and normal, no antibodies just a normal sample.

    Sorry for the ramble, but i'm now thinking and i now this is maybe wrong but i'm thinking whether some of these clinics just want to rush through the exploritory stage and just get you on for treatment (and giving them money)

    Re work, i don't work, but if i did i would of found it hard attending the many appointments needed throughout the cycle. I visited the clinic 10 times in 2weeks.

    Wish you all the luck image

  • Hi we have a different situation we were told that we only had a 2% chance of getting pg nat so we went for it straight away with icsi i worked through but my job is very relaxed and i can' work flexi hours and my boss new so made it a lot easier i would say do what you feel best as it is your decision however try not leave it tol long not sure how old you are but can be harder the older you are and does not always work first time so it very hard emotional journey xxx
  • Thank you girls, really appreciate it. Fairy20 - I know what you mean. It sounds cynical but I sort of get the feeling that our clinic is very quick to suggest costly treatments and rule anything else out (our Dr told OH that he didn't need to stop smoking / drinking / poor diet and I should stop using thermometers and CBFM as it wouldn't make any difference) - but within days I was booked in for a ??3000 operation that turned out to be a bit needless. Now IVF. I'm just hoping this month will be lucky for us!! I'm 34 but OH is 44 so don't want to waste too much more time. GOOD LUCK both of you with everything. xxx

    [Modified by: LillyR on July 13, 2009 10:42 AM]

  • Hi LillyR,

    Just gatecrashing here so feel free to ignore me, but was wondering whether you know whether you actually ovulate or not?

    Have the doctors discussed the use of Chlomid? I have polycystic ovaries which means that I do not ovulate as regularly as most other women.

    I used the Chlomid and conceived within a month as it stimulates your hormones into releasing an ovum or two...!

    Might be worth a thought before you spend a lot of money going down the IVF route?

    Good luck x

  • Hi,
    Good point .... I've been using CBFM for a while and it was showing the 'egg' so I'd assumed I was ovulating. But the other day when we saw the Dr, he said there's a chance I'm not OVing every month. He said the next step was to do a blood test to see the age of my eggs, and then he's suggested IUI as a step before IVF (I'm a bit reluctant to start IVF). He did mention Chlomid, so I think you're right, that could be a good option. Anyway, today I'm convincing myself I'm PG anyway, it may be wishful thinking and if I'm wrong, then next month we'll be going for it. Thanks for your reply. xx
  • Hi Lilly

    A bit of a different perspective from me as we too were diagnosed with unexplained infertility so are doing IVF even though there's no obvious reason why we can't get pg on our own. One thing I would say is that I don't think it's the clinics wanting money necessarily - we've gone through to IUI and IVF pretty quickly and it's all on the NHS so I can't think the clinic are making lots of money from our treatment at the mo (I may be wrong I don't know how that all works). I think it's just that once you're in the system there's a certain process they follow.

    We were quite happy to move on to treatment as I'm 36 and after 2 years ttc didn't want to wait much longer before hopefully having a family. I'm astonished however that you're being recommended IVF without even having had blood tests to see if you're ovulating. As the other girls have said Clomid has great results for those who aren't regularly ovulating and is obviously much better than having to have IVF. We had all of the tests including an HSG before they even suggested treatment.

    As for IUI, we tried that twice and it was very much less invasive than the IVF. Be aware though that success rates are only around 10-11% with this treatment. I'll be honest, if we were offered it again I don't think we'd do it.

    As the other girls have said it really isn't possible to work as normal during IVF because of all of the appointments. Although you may not need a sabbatical, your employer would need to be very flexible and obviously you're best off if you can avoid too much stress.

    Lots and lots of luck on your ttc journey, I really hope you get your BFP before you have to face any of this.

  • Thanks Daisy Girl for taking the time to reply, really helpful. I know I sounded cynical about the money - that would be so unethical (however, we've gone private - couldn't cope with the enormous waiting list on NHS) and every time we have an appointment it's another cheque to write! Of course I don't begrudge it but it's building up. And I really don't think they'll be doing anything just for the money but I guess I was just feeling a bit down about it.
    Interesting what you said about the IUI success rates - i didn't know that.
    I think we're getting to the stage when I'm going to quit work anyway - I have a job where there's no flexibility at all, and I know my boss would not be giving me time off for appointments! It's been such a cause of stress this year that I think something's got to give.
    Anyway, I wish you all the luck in the world with your IVF and I hope you get your BFP very soon xx
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