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First IVF appointment - Q

MrD and I are having IUI treatment at hospital #1. If we don't get our BFP after four rounds of IUI, then we are due to start IVF in 2010, at hospital #2. (Both hospitals know about the other course of treatment, as it is all on the NHS - #1 referred us to #2)

We have received a date for our initial IVF consultation at hospital #2, which is at the end of this month. The appointment letter says MrD and I have to arrange some tests before that (nothing unusual - internal scan for me, and SA for MrD - after 12 months of investigations/treatment we're getting ever so blase about this testing malarky).

Does MrD need to come along to that consultation? The letter is addressed to me and doesn't make any reference to MrD being there (!!). It is difficult for him to get time away from work, and after my meltdown last month when he didn't want to come along to my IUI insemination, I am getting used to doing most of this fertility stuff on my own (him providing moral support and a pot of fresh swimmers when necessary).

Any thoughts? I've got no problem reporting the details back to MrD, and obviously he is interested, but just wondered if he needed to be there for any reason?

Thanks

Replies

  • Hello Mr and Mrs D

    I'm very glad My husband came along to the first Ivf Appointment. There is so much information to take in, In such a short period of time... IVF is so much more detailed than IUI. With a lot more tests to be done.

    We are just about to start our first cycle of ICSI. You just need your Mr D on 2 occasions lol...

    Emma x
  • Hey MrsD, I haven't had my inital IVF consultation yet (next week) but I think if MrD can get time off work without too much trouble it would be worth it. I want my husband to understand the treatment and I'll need him to be doing the injections. I think it's good for both parties to feel involved in making the baby, even if it's not in the conventional way!!! As Emma says, the only other time he has to come is on egg colection day so it's not too much of a hardship. But, you have to do whatever is right for you as a couple hon. Wishing you lots of luck with your next IUI - you must be ov'ing again around now??? xxx
  • Hi TBD - how are you?? I've been away from BE for a wee while (which has taken quite some self control! Felt I needed to relax a bit) so just catching up.

    Your timing is impeccable. I am on CD 11 today, and having had the hcg injection yesterday (to trigger OV) I had the insemination today. I'm getting OV twinges as I type, so I guess the egg will be popping out shortly.

    The insemination sadly wasn't at all comfortable - I was very unlucky, as they had to use the tenaculum to grasp my cervix. The whole thing took 20-25 minutes, which was not nice. The nurses were nice, but ow, ow, ow. It was a case of many deep breaths and reminding myself to keep focused on the end goal.

    Hope you are doing well.

    xx
  • Hi MrsD, like you, I know I have my hubby's total support - as long as his physical presence isn't required too often! When I told him my egg collection was on Wednesday, he e-mailed back to say he'd booked the time off work - I made it clear his presence (and his swimmers) would definitely be required. Then I mentioned hopefully having embryo transfer on Friday and he e-mailed straight back saying, "Do I need to be there then as well? I've just moved a meeting from Wednesday to Friday." Technically, he doesn't NEED to be there, so I responded, "That's fine, as long as you don't mind that some other man will hopefully be getting me pregnant while you're at work." I know he's not unwilling to be there, but he finds it stressful and it's difficult for him to get the time off work, so it's fine by me if he's not physically present.

    On the other hand, I do think it was good that he was there at our initial appointment. He isn't much of a one for Google, and he hasn't read or learnt anything about the IVF process unless I've either told it to him or shoved a piece of paper under his nose. For that reason, it was really helpful that he was with me when the consultant and then the nurse went through all the basics with us and explained what would be happening.

    So I suppose if your hubby is willing to do some research for himself and it's really hard for him to get the time off work, it should be OK if he's not there - but if he possibly can be, I would recommend it.

    Good luck xx
  • Hey MrsD, yes had noticed you hadn't been around much sweetie, but totally understand why. My cycle is just a little behind yours which, to be honest, is how I remembered!!! That's very exciting that you are in with another chance this month. The insemination sounds pretty awful though, bles you. Hope you're resting up and feeling ok. Everything crossed this is your turn MrsD.

    I'm ok. Feeling pretty positive lately as we have or 1st IVF appt next week. Am getting nervous that something will stop us from doing IVF now. I literally worry about EVERYTHING!!! It's quite exhausting. Am pretty excited as well though....just nice to know we're getting one step closer xxxx
  • Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply. I have spoken to MrD and he is going to come with me to the first appointment. He really needs to know what I am going through at every stage of the treatment - not least because these hormones I keep pumping into myself make me very irritable, and I'm less than patient when he clearly forgets what stage I'm at (and that's just our IUI experience - I expect IVF will be a lot more intense!).

    So thanks everyone and I feel glad at the way it has turned out.

    (Of course, there is a chance we won't need it - there is this IUI cycle and a further two to go, so who knows).

    Thanks and have brill weekends.

    xx


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