How do I stop worrying about the whole giving birth thing?

My mum thinks I'm mad but I'm really scared about giving birth. Getting pregnant is one of best things that's ever happened to me but I'm beginning to really worry about how I'm going to deal with actually giving birth to this baby. Is anyone else out there a bit scared? I'm thinking about asking my midwife if I can have a c section as I think I'll be in a right old state by the time I get to 40 weeks. Any one got any good tips to calm me down?!


  • i was so nervous having each of my 4 babies,  thinking that each one would be the most difficult birth ever.  Afterwards, though,  I wondered why i had been so worried.  you will be fine.  the time passes very quickly when you are in labour and once it starts it will be over beore you know it.  when are you due?  is this your first baby?  GOOD LUCK!
  • You usually seem to hear horror birth stories.This went wrong,that went wrong,or women in labour for days.As Audrey said the time does pass quickly.

    I worried with all of my 7 babies.There are midwives on hand,there are drugs to help with the pain.

    Might help to find out as much as you can before hand.It helps to know what's happening.While I wouldn't suggest you do the drug free thing,some of the relaxation and breathing techniques may help you.One of mine was a homebirth which meant no pain relief except gas and air right at the end.

    Speak to your midwife.See if you can arrange antenatal classes.A c-section is not the easy option,there are sometimes complications,and  recovery is harder and takes longer,and in any case it may not be offered without medical reasons.

    Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy,and the birth.It's normal to worry,but in most cases it's not as bad as you think

  • Thank you so much for your help. It's great to hear your stories. I'm going to ask to speak to a midwife this week and see what she says. Will let you know how I get on.
  • I'm just as bad with my third as I was with my first.  I found that bach rescue remedies help me to calm down, also not reading too much about it.  just let your body do its thing when its time
  • You poor old thing!

    I stopped reading about birth after a while, once I realised I was getting quite bewildered about the whole thing. It's easy to say with hindsight, but I found it all to0 easy to spend loads of time delving into so many things that *could* happen yet most probably never will.

    I spent time with the fetal development pages instead, which were great, and reading a bit about the baby's first 6 months (which everyone says they were a bit under prepared for because they were so absorbed by the pregnancy bit)

    Good luck! Keep us posted image
  • i was petrifed when i fell pregnant with me daughter because everyone told me there  horror stories but it wasnt as bad as i thought... when i fell pregnant with me son it was plain sailing because i knew what to expect... now im pregnant for a 3rd time and everything is different. ive been told i have to have a section which is the thing im dreading more than anything. to be honest a normal birth is alot easier and the recovery is easier than it is to have a section.

     if its the pain your scared of ( and yes it can hurt ) then you can always try off on gas and air then if it gets too bad u could opt for pethidine or even an epidural.. but try and weigh all the pro's and con's of stuff and if you aint sure about stuff u can always ask ur midwife who will clarify things for u.

    good luck image

  • bouncey,

    ive had two c-sections and they werent half as scary painfull etc as people had told me, you just have to be carefull, worst thing for me was the canular going in because i could see it, best of luck and i hope its an ok experience for you xx

  • Laura whats a canular? image My baby is breech at the moment so might end up with a section this time
  • thingy in the back of your hand for a drip! I had a lovely (but very nervous) student put my 2nd one in (one for jack was ok) and it hurt!! i dont think i helped the poor lad by sitting there sobbing and jumping everytime he came nearimage

    If its a planned section its not a bad experience at all once the canulars in it doesnt hurt unless you catch it then its not painfull just sore, Having the section with lola was lovely and so so calm, she came straight over the screen and dripped all over us lol! they let andrew 'neaten' the cord as he wasnt allowed round to cut it! and you can take music in! As soon as your in recovery we got brought drinks toast and biscuits! My lovely midwife also brought us a box of chocs! It was just really nice, and they had me back on the ward for lunch so a very unimpressed jack could meet lola! he just wanted my food!

  • oh right is that what its called, i just called it a tap lol  i had about 3 after i had moss, one halfway between my wrist and elbow cause they had a nightmare finding veins after i haemorraged image
  • ouch! section you only need one!

    I had a 'drain' aswell its a tube in the scar for excess fluid blood etc and every one said oh theyre agony and they gave me gas and air to have it removed, didnt use it and i didnt feel a thing!image

  • im really scared too. i am worried i will be  myself when i go into labour, incase my partners at work or i am not at familys. i am not very good at dealing with pain.
  • My daughter was the same, all the time it was "What if". After staying with me for three days, so goes home!! Had a txt of her at 5am her waters ad gone. She was calm n just poppin into the bath for 10 mins. She even got herself into the hospital (after telling me not to rush!!!) n when l arrived was a picture of calm n happiness. She was laughing with the midwife. 6 hours later my beautiful grand daughter came rushing into the world. All she had was two breaths of gas n air, which she didnt like so didnt bother. N all her worries was over nothing. Just trust yaself n try not too worry,enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. What if may never happen. Take care. xxx
  • dont worrie everythink will be fine i was worried at first wen it happend it goes so quick u forget ur be so strong the contractions r the only thing that hurt me but ur get through it x
  • Dont be scared it is the most amazing thing in the world to get pregnant and give birth.   Having said that i did have an epidural but that is because they broke my waters and intedned to induce me, which I knew could bring on contractions very quickly resulting in your body having less time to build up to the pain.

    A C Secion isnt always easier, my sister had a very long labour with her first 12 years ago, She was very young & left on her own that night on the ward and she was quite scared, this time she ended up with an emergency C Section and said she would always choose a natural birth over a C Section.  It is true that you always hear the horror stories, (as someone as already mentioned). But lots of people give birth without too many problems some even say they didnt find it particularly painful, some are over very quickly too,  don't worry worry will make you stressed which can create a more painful experience. Need to find away to learn to ZONE out of it and take your mind elsewhere look at all your options and rule nothing out, I wanted as natural birthy aspossible to be on the move etc but due to a couple of complications i couldn't i had to be monitored etc but all was well in the end and I now have a great 2 year old.  

    It is easier said than done but dont worry yourself too much, go to ante natals and speak with the other people in the same positoin or discuss the options in full but C Section is not  nec an easy way having your baby.

    Good Luck, it is all very much worth it. x

  • My 4th baby is due tomorrow, and i am really bricking it! I dont think there is a way to stop worrying. Whatever situation youre in, there will always be worry. After you wonder why you worried, but i think we survive in a way on worry!

    I already have a boy and 2 girls, and we know this one is a boy too. I just hope labour with this one isntthe same as my other boy. The girls were nicer births, and with my last labour i even enjoyed it. Anyone else have the same feeling? Lots of people i said this to, looked at me like i was off the planet!

    Guess i ought to pack my hospital bags, dont ya think!?


  • My sister gave me some fab advice when I was worrying about it all, she said "just look around when you're out shopping....everyone you see got here the same way, and the majority of them probably have brothers & it can't be that bad"

    I did worry too about the birth, but just kept reminding myself that no matter how much I worried (or not) on the day, it will go how it's going to go.  I wanted a natural birth because I hated the idea of Pethadine and was scared stiff about having a needle in my spine for an epidural.  In the end I had the epidural & it was great....couldn't walk of course, but with a handful of good big p[ushes (which I could hardly feel) my beautiful little girl was born!!  She;s 18 months old now & the whole birth event is a distant but lovely memory.

    Most likely everything will be fine for you....worrying about it will not make any difference either way.  So, try not to worry but to look forward to'll be meeting your new baby & once all the pushing is over it will be the best day of your life!!

  •  Zoe I  enjoyed all my labours ,yes it hurt , but it was worth every minute.

    My third son who is now 14 weeks was born in the birthing pool and it was fantastic.  I had a bit of gas and air, lifted him on to my chest myself and was left till he cord had stopped pulsating naturally a wonderful experience.  I am actually a little sad that that was probably the last time I will give birth.

  • i am so so scared of giving birth too, i am due in 4 weeks and i cant seem to calm myself down. i have constantly got a bad tummy with worrying and its driving me mad! i am so excited about meeting our little boy but the fact that i could go into labour at any time is scaring me to death! image
  • The best advice I had was 'imagine every contraction as one nearer to getting your baby rather than one more you have just had to endure.'  It worked for me! X
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