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Second homebirth....what to do with a 2yr old?
Hi ladies, after a beautiful home water birth for my first I'll be going for another one with this pregnancy all being well. My only question is what to do with my (will be) 2yr old? I'm aware that our bodies don't generally go into labour until we are comfortable and ready, so with any luck I would have put her to bed. I'm all for her being present if not but feel that she may feel a little overwhelmed by the experince. I don't have any family around so that's not an option. Any one have any experience of siblings and homebirths?
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I have had two homebirths, my first daughter was born over night but my son (then 2) woke up. Like you I don't have any family nearby so It was just hubby and I. My son was fine as he went back to bed but woke again a little while later. He was in the room at the head end!!! To be honest I think he was just happy to be with us and too sleepy to be bothered about the weird noises mummy was making!!lol.
My second homebirth(third baby) was again overnight and again my son woke up (then 5) and my eldest daughter slept through.
I think its down to how your labour is going and how settled you and your other half are during the process of labour, your child will pick up on your emotions.
I did buy a few little games/toys to keep in case I went into labour during the day so that My kids would have something special and new to keep them occupied at the crucial point!!
If your in labour during the day i think you and your other half might need to think up a action plan so he's able to juggle giving you the support you need and caring for your little one. My hubby and I basically said that if I'm happy and the midwife is giving me the support I need then he could go and play with the kids until I need him(it didnt happen like that as I went into labour overnight but its good to make a plan of action)
I was very lucky and had the same midwife with all my babies and we had a super relationship with her and my kids were very comfortable with her around which I think helped alot too.
As your child is only two I shouldn't worry too much as the chances are they won't remember much of what happens anyway.
Not sure if this helps any,
Good luck
Did you have water births? I'm slightly worried about the whole birthing pool and toddler mix too!
Lisa. x
My friend talked alot about what happens during labour (obviously to the best f her understanding) So she wasnt to shocked and worried about Mummy as she knew what it was all about! She even showed her a picture of the after birth so she wouldnt be scared when it came out! You may not feel this is suitable for your child but I thought I'd just share my friends experiance!
No I didn't have a water birth as I really like to be up and active during labour-I can't stand to be sitting/lying or anything.
An old friend of mine had twins at home in a huge birthing pool along with her hubby and 3 yr old who had such a super time being with Claire during labour that she announced then and there she wanted 5 babies in a pool!!!lol. She did have an indipendant midwife who was an absolute gem.The after care was alot more frequent and Claire said it was alot more relaxed as there was no pressure or rushing at each appointment.The midwife went to her home before and after so no worries about taking lo to clinic for a while.
I had an NHS midwife who was more like a family friend than a midwife. I knew her over 7yrs and I was very lucky to have had the same midwife throughout....very rare I know.
I am gutted though as she has retired this year so once we start trying for baby no'4 It will be really wierd.
As I said before just plan for everything and anything, even if you don't use some of the its and bits you buy for your daughter at the birth you may find things very useful after!!!!
Sorry to waffel on, as you can tell I loved having a home birth and do send you lots of luck for yours.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
i'm in the same situation as you, i'm planning my first home birth, and my daughter will be 2 and a half. baby is due in 8 weeks ish. For a little while now, we have been watching the baby progs on discovery home and health together. she loves them and she completely understands about the lady having a baby, that it comes out of her "peach" (our name for vagina!) and that the baby has blood on it etc. she surprised me at how into it she is, and she knows that her baby sister will come out of mummy like that. i would like her to be there with me if she is awake as i want her involved but i am prepared for her to be overwhelmed or upset, but there is nothing more i can do to help that, and at the time i probably wont be best placed to comfort her!
if you've thought of any other ideas, let me know!
Naomi
My Mum told be how horrible her labour was with me and how she was cut so much she was losing stiches for weeks!
I think I'll will myself to go into labour at night as much as I can, and my back up plan will be the help of neighbours or friends picking up my daughter if she becomes distressed during the day.
I'm hoping that my second homebirth is very much like the first which was a very calm and peaceful experience. I can't imagine what a shock a labour of 20mins must have been.
Hope you are fully recovered now and can put that behind you. x
Best of luck with your home birth - I am sure it will be a much calmer experience than mine!!