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can i share my story...

although i dont feel my labour and birth has effected me too much at the moment, its been less than 2 weeks and i wondered if i could share my story as a bit of therapy as i am concerned with the lack of sleep etc it will start to have an impact on me (if that makes any sense!)...



i went into very early labour on the evening of the 30th dec, by lunch time on the 31st contractions were coming every 10 mins. at around 5pm they were every 4 min and i was struggling, so i rung labour triage and put my tens machine on. i was told to take 2 paracetamol and to ring again in 2hrs or when they were coming every 3 mins. by 7pm they were much more intense and coming every 3 min so i called back and was told to come in. i was examined and only at 3cm, so advised to go home, take the tens off, sit in the bath and take 2 co-dydramol at 9pm. if at 10pm they were just as frequent and as intense, to ring again. by 9:30 i just couldnt cope any more so hubby rung and they said i could go back. was examined again and still only 3cm - i couldnt believe it. i felt like i just couldnt go through any more with no adequate pain relief.



in the end, she agreed i needed to be admitted for pain relief. labour ward wouldnt take me as i wasnt dilated enough, and the antenatal ward wouldnt answer the phone. It took 3 hours from when she agreed i needed admitting for pethidine, to getting to the antenatal ward which i feel is utterly appaling! I get to the antenatal ward and have a shot of pethidine which didnt really help the pain, just made me feel light headed. I went to the bathroom and there was a lot of blood coming out (not how i imagined the 'show' to be), so i told the midwife and she looked and said she needed to keep an eye on it (which no one ever re-checked). The contractions were still coming very frequently and all of a sudden i just felt like i had no choice but to push (this was about 1 1/2hrs after getting to the ward) - although there was no one around.



Eventually one of the midwives heard me (i never thought id be a screamer, but i was!), and came in and kept telling me not to push. she went to get me some gas and air (finally!) and examined me - i was now at 8cm. They needed to get me to labour ward, but the lady next to me had just broken her waters and there was meconium in it, so she got rushed down first. The midwife with me got the HCA to get a delivery trolly ready (this really paniced me), they then managed to rush me down to labour ward. i was now at 10cm.



i was pushing and pushing for about 1hr i think and only had gas and air (a few hrs before i knew i wanted an epidural, but there ended up not being enough time). midwife was intermittently monitoring baby's heart rate, and then said she needed to examine me to see where baby was. as she did this, my waters finally broke and there was meconium in there. all of a sudden there was about 10 people in the room, a doctor yelling at me to push. the midwife said they would have to help get baby out and the doctor would have to cut me. they put my legs up in stirrups, and all of a sudden with no warning the doctor jabbed local anaesthetic into my perineum. then, without waiting for it to take effect (which i understand if there wasnt time), and again with no warning she cut me which was agony. they attached the suction to baby and helped to pull him out. he was then rushed off to the resus area with the paeds doc. he was ok - just took a little longer than average to breath, but his apgar score was 9 at 5min and 10 at 10min, so all ok. the midwife stitched me up and i apparently tore as well as having to be cut, so i now have 8 external stitched, dont know how many internal ones.



At the end of the day, we are both at home and both well which is the main thing. But I feel really let down by the system. I dont understand why it took 3hrs to get me pain relief when that was the reason they were admitting me. I know no one could predict that the labour would go quicker than expected, and once i got to labour ward the staff there did a wonderful job of getting baby out safely which is the main thing. I am seriously considering making a complaint about the way it all went, but to be honest, i doubt it would make any difference, and I know (despite me working at that hospital!) I would never go back there again. i feel really let down by the NHS (if I ever have another child, which we were planning, but I am unsure about now, I would pay to go private (despite being a nurse and working for the nhs myself) and would seriously consider a planned c-section).



sorry its so long, but i really needed to vent. Thanks

Replies

  • I'm so sorry you had such a hard time.



    I had a traumatic birth myself, which to be honest doesnt sound too much different to yours. I found bonding with my baby hard due to the trauma, my relationship with hubby suffered and I felt terrible. I felt let down and mistreated. I left it 5 years before having another baby because I was so scared, but told my GP of my fears and was given a c-section.



    Just enjoy your baby and try not to let it get to you, if it does, there are help groups for post traumatic stress xxxx
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