Does anyone still feel troubled by birth experience?

Replies

• EmilyB

  Apr 16, 2011 4:40PM

  My son is 17 months and I still have serious episodes over it. I have nightmares and wake up sweating, I get angry and I can't bring myself to go near a hospital. I still can't speak about it. I have to leave the room when colleagues talk about OBEM and teaching sex ed I had to get another teacher to cover me for the labour and birth lesson because I couldn't even talk about the process. It's getting a bit embarrassing as a girl at work is pregnant and keeps asking questions about labour and the hospital where I had ds and I can't bring up words to answer, and usually have to make excuses to run to the loos as I feel as though I'm going bright red and I can't stop myself from starting to cry. Saw the midwife in the street about 6 months ago and had a full-blown panic attack. You're not alone hun, though I don't know the solution, I'm really sorry. Hubby and I are starting ttc #2, which petrifies me!

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• xxfairyxdustxx

  Apr 24, 2011 4:24PM

  I still feel traumatised by mine 6 months on. Recently requested my notes to look through to try and work out what happened, (cost me ??50 tho!! ), but I really need someone trained to go through them with me as I can't really understand, (or actually read!), a fair bit of it! I thought I was doing ok until my best friend recently had a beautiful birth experience and it triggered all sorts of feelings in me, but I found it theraputic to have a good bawl and I'm so happy for her, it gives me hope for the future as I would like more. Never ever thought I'd say that!! Only advice I can offer is to talk, talk, talk and never feel you're not entitled to your feelings.

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• laujai

  Apr 27, 2011 7:33AM

  Thanks ladies.
  
  
  
  Im just a bit baffled by alot of things that went un-noticed leading to problems afterwards & my son not breathing at birth!
  
  
  
  I feel like my care was neglected & had someone listened or acted earlier alot of things couldve been avoided!
  
  xx

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• KazzieM

  Apr 27, 2011 11:15AM

  My 1st labour lasted 49hrs start to finish and involved 3 different midwives with the shift changes and all of them had their own opinion on what I should do when, one stating push when you're ready then the next walks in and asks what on earth am I doing I'm not dilated enough to push. In the end I was so tired midwife almost pulled my DD out, I tore and bled loads. I'm now halfway into term with no.2 and have started discussing my concerns of a repeat with midwife. She's lovely in reminding me that no two pregnancies are the same and what happened once may go completely different this time but I don't think my OH and I will really be at ease until no.2 is out.

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• heffalump2011

  May 10, 2011 2:43PM

  Yes me, I had a PPH with my 2nd child which terrified me completely as the labour was perfect from start to finish! It came 6 hours later and completely out of nowhere! I was on my one as hubby had gone home to pick our daughter up, I thought I was going to die and it was dreadful.
  
  
  
  I do want a third baby, but the whole labour thing terrifies me! I just try and say to myself that no two labours/babies are the same! xx

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• Mrsmcsweeney

  May 12, 2011 7:29AM

  Me! 2 and a half years on Ive only just started coming to terms with it!!! And I've got to say that I didn't talk about any of it and ended up getting terrible post natal depression for the first year and a half..then I finally got treament. After looking into things it seems its very common for women who have had tramatic birth experiences to go on to get post natal depression. I feel robbed in two ways...firstly that I had my beautiful baby boy's birth completely marred by negligence and neglect and secondly that for the first year and a half of my baby's life I found it very difficult to bond with him and spent so long feeling very troubled, distressed and like a failure because of it. Things can go wrong during birth which any mother can accept but when your treatment and care is neglected and, worse than that, you are treated like less than a person with no significance or importance this is not acceptable. Im still very angry. I urge anyone who feels like this to speak with a doctor you trust or understand before it esculates out of control, I really wish I had sooner, I think maybe if I'd have had some form of counselling I could have enjoyed the first years of my little ones life to the extent I should have- I'll never get that time back.

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• fionaslump

  May 19, 2011 4:55PM

  Hi I've just found out that i'm expecting my second baby and while I am over the moon to be having another I am still plagued by my experience in the hospital having my first.
  
  
  
  I had to be induced on my 12th day overdue and although the process was ok I was left so upset by the aftercare I got that I am dreading going to hospital again.
  
  
  
  It doesnt feel right to complain as I have a beautiful 20 month old little boy, but I have always felt the way the midwives and nurses treated me during my stay in hospital after having him robbed me in some way of that wonderful moment of holding him for the first time. It left me so stressed that it took me months to stop crying whenever I think about it.
  
  
  
  You are not alone.

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• diane468

  May 21, 2011 6:10PM

  I bleed after my first baby, was wired up to prevent it on my second and yet still bleed. Now at forty three ive just found out i'm pregant, my god i'm scared to death! Just wish it would all go away.

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• OoooohhhToodles

  Jan 1, 2012 9:30PM

  I don't think I had a particularly traumatic birth, he was back to back so contractions came thick and fast from the very start and they wouldn't give me pain relief until I was in established labour which was a long time because of his position. Gas and air made it bearable for a while until I started getting the urge to push but I wasn't fully dilated so had to breath through the urge to push and resist pushing which was horrendous. Then I had a lip of my cervix trapping his head so they tried to leave it to move on it's own for a while before manually pushing it off his head. I couldn't go to the toilet so had to have a catheter which they didn't do properly. I finally started pushing and he kept slipping back up, they couldn't find his heartbeat between a few contractions so I had to lie on my back on the bed for the first time during the whole labour and he was born with the next push, I tore quite badly both in my perineum and upwards and they had to get a consultant to come and stitch me up.
  
  Like I said it wasn't actually traumatic, not in terms of some of the things I have read on here but I obsess about it all the time and I cant stop reading about back to back births.
  
  I am 16 weeks pregnant with my 2nd and worry all the things that went wrong like my cervix not dilating and the baby being back to back will happen again, I'm not sure any part of me can cope with that again!!!
  
  On the flip side I was only in labour for 15 hours in total from my waters breaking and the first twinge to him being born and am concerned that if this baby is in the right position I could give birth in marks and Spencer, at least I would get some vouchers or something!!

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• Danilou1987

  Jan 2, 2012 4:33PM

  I can totally sympahise.....I was induced on my 10th day and spent 3 days in hospital before my waters were ready to be broken as nothing was happening. I was then put on a drip to bring on my contractions and I was coping so well. After about 7 hours (3 of which I'd spent on gas and air) I was told I was only 3cm dialated even though I felt like I was going to die as the pain was so bad and the contractions were coming one after the other. I lost it and finally asked for the epidural which I had to wait 4 hrs for!! I ended up with a distressed baby and high blood pressure and had to have an assisted birth. I was cut and the forceps were used. My son pooed in me and I also heomoraged but as soon as I see him none of that mattered. Talking about it helped so much and i would do it again in a heartbeat...

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• Lyndsay2-11992

  Jan 12, 2012 12:40PM

  my twins were born 22/6/10 and I still feel troubled - mainly by what happened to them and the separation afterwards for quite some time in NNU because we were all so poorly. Sometimes I am very very upset over it, but sometimes I am able to look at it objectively and think that we all survived.
  
  I think the reality is that the professional support isn't there as it should be, I should've been offered counselling, or sought it. We are told that pregnancy and birth is so beautiful and natural but actually, it's hell for some of us... but most of us have to simply be glad that we made it, we have our lovely babies and in other parts of the world or years ago that would not have been the case, and hopefully over a period of time and a million cuddles from our treasures time will heal the trouble we feel.
  
  

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• TulipRose

  Jan 13, 2012 1:22PM

  Hi,
  
  
  
  Me too.
  
  
  
  I think its a process which you work through after a traumatic birth and it takes each of us differing amounts of time and support to get to the end but we will get there.
  
  
  
  For a long time I was devastated, exhausted, traumatised and then angry. Now I feel very jealous of those whose births were 'easier' and especially as some friends seem to treat me as if it were my fault and want to rub in how amazing their experiences were.
  
  
  
  But then in some ways I know most births are not plain sailing and often people forget or tell themselves it was fine.
  
  
  
  Just take your time and seek the support you need at whatever stage.
  
  
  
  The difficulty I have is that with a 2nd pg I am at 80% risk of getting OC again which means added worry of stillbirth, weekly bloods, close monitoring and so much more intervention in general going to daily scans at the end and a c section at 37 weeks or sooner if my levels rise too quickly so next time there is this whole worry from the start and potential prem baby.
  
  
  
  If I dont get ill I will have the choice of elec c section but not sure what I'd do. We had such a traumatic induction ending in emcs so just a lot to think about.

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• emchip1983

  Jun 3, 2012 7:12PM

  my son is 19months and i still often recall what happened and it upsets me, i keep telling myself that hes safe now and a little boy , but its not that simple, when something is traumatic its bound to stay with you. dont be hard on your self your entitled to feel like you do

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• piggypops

  Jun 3, 2012 9:23PM

  it is really important to seek help if your feeling like this, all hospitals should offer a afterthoughts service where a head midwife will go through your notes with you and offer help if needed, my two births i feel still trouble me but were only emergency sections and nothing compared to what some of you ladies have experienced

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