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Third degree tear

Hi ladies



Was just wondering if anyone had experienced a third degree tear. I had my baby 5months ago and I am still suffering. I went back to see the consultant today and she had to check me out I now have to go for further tests and have a camera to have a look further. I think the main problem is I can't bear for anyone to check me out or go near that area.

I started crying today when the doctor had a look at me I felt like such a fool for getting upset. It's almost like it has left me traumatised. Nothing was really explained to me at the birth they just went a head and did what they had to. I was in quite a lot of pain at the birth but did not make a fuss as the was no time for pain relief. My notes were not wrote up as 2 days later I had a midwife come to me to ask what happened at the birth as there was no notes and she needed to fill in the blanks!

Sorry to go on it's just I want to go back to feeling normal again.

I spoke to my husband about it and I think he thinks I am making a fuss over nothing!

Any advice be would greatly received

Annie

Replies

  • Hi,



    I am pregnant with my first baby, so i haven't experienced a third degree tear but just wanted to say that i really feel for you. It sounds like you had a bad experience at the hospital, and i can't believe your notes were incomplete. I can only imagine the pain you are in, but you have def done the right thing going to your GP/consultant about it, and i don't think you are making a fuss about it at all. If anything you could have made a huge fuss at the time, especially having no painkillers.



    I really hope that you get the best treatment now, and that your situation improves



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  • Hi Annie



    Sorry to hear about your birth. I had a 4th degree tear 7 months ago, and have to say what you're feeling is totally normal.



    When DD was 12 weeks I had a check up and was told I was really well healed and that they did an excellent job of repairing me.... however that is not how I felt!



    For a long time I found it uncomfortable to walk etc or do anything strenuous. And still sometimes now it is uncomfortable for me - although I wouldn't really say it is painful now.



    I think for me (and perhaps you to a certain extent) a lot of the feelings of apprehension etc come from fear rather than a physical issue at this stage. Unfortunately, I have to say I was disappointed with the support after my birth. The care in hospital was great but when I was allowed home and visited by midwives & HV they were all 'oooh dear that's terrible, never mind'. which didn't help me understand very much.



    One thing I found helped was having my purple notes (they sent these home with me) and I looked things up online that I didn't understand so I at least understood what happened - although I don't know why.



    We have recently decided to try for baby no. 2 as I have finally felt able to DTD - however it is stressful for me as part of me is terrified of it happening again.



    It is difficult for your husband to understand, after all there is nothing to compare it to. But it is normal, eventually you will feel more and more normal but it is a traumatic thing. You need to have patience with yourself, and hopefully they will do these checks on you and you will be reassured that things are healing the correct way and then you will maybe feel a little better.



    Sorry to have rambled - hope it helps a little, please feel free to ask any questions you need to.



    This website may help you: http://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/
  • Hi,

    I had a 3rd degree tear with my son 3 years ago and was definitely still suffering 6 months later and had discomfort for even longer. Unlike you I stupidly didnt se gp, just hoped problem would go away! Well luckily it did get better, but I couldnt bring myself to even use a tampon until my son was a year old and didnt have sex until he was 16 months. How you're feeling is perfectly normal, totally understandable and if that was my OH I would be feeling murderous towards him haha! Why dont you ask him how he'd be feeling if he had that sort of tear to his bits?!

    Well done for going to dr, it will get better xx
  • Thanks for your input ladies. To be honest I would probley not have gone to see the dr on my own accord all the appointments where set up when I had Isabelle I have had physico.

    When I saw the consultant she said things had not healed as well as she thought they would have done and that there is a lot of scar tissue and thinks the anal sphincter is deficient anteriorly.

    I guess I will just have to see how things go!

    Annie x
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