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How do you start preparing tax for no. 2?

Hi I just wondered if anyone is thinking of tyc a second baby after a traumatic first birth? How have you coped or planned if you have already done it? I had a traumatic end to my pregnancy as I developed obstetric cholestasis which puts you at risk of several things but most worryingly stillbirth. I was itching horrendously and even in my sleep scratching myself to pieces for about. 3 weeks getting next to no sleep. I felt very unwell and vulnerable and when finally diagnosed it was a shock. I was diagnosed at 39 weeks so was induced and he labour was back to back position for 36 hours. In the end bubba got stuck after 3 hours of pushing and so we went straight to caesarean. I was so exhausted and poorly the first few weeks were hell and we were in hospital for 5 days. Luckily he was perbirth it it took me a week or 2 to be able to start bonding as I didn't even know where I was. I was delirious. Anyway oc has a high recurrence rate so the consultant told me I would get it again. I'd like another baby but not sure I can face the build up, the extra bloods, scans and constant worry that every itch is oc. Any advice really welcome Xx

Replies

  • Hi Tulip, just wanted to say hello. Can't really help as although my labour ended in emcs, it was quite straightforward and I healed very well. Just wanted to wish you all the best in your next ttc journey, and hope you get some good advice on here xxx
  • Thanks Tigerlilly.

    That's really sweet x

  • Hey TulipRose, I have a little boy, 14 months old this Sunday and have only just got my head around the idea of baby number 2.  Hubby wanted a second baby for ages and I said no following a miserable pregnancy, vomited every couple of minutes during a 13 hour labour and tearing enough to need surgery after giving birth.  I was out of it on pain killers for first few days and that meant not bonding with my LO for ages and problems feeding etc.  Now my husband has gone off the idea of another baby, I would actually love a second but am still terrified of tearing and spending the first days of my baby's life being away with the fairies.  Obviously each person is different and I can't comment on the itching from OC but I did get my dermatitis flare up terribly when preg and only thing that stopped me scratching my skin away was alternating Eurax and my prescription steroid cream - Dermovate ointment.  Although my doc certainly wouldn't prescribe me anymore of the stuff whilst pregnant, she did say the risks of getting a skin infection through scratching was higher than risks I was passing to my baby by using the creams.  It's your decision on how to manage the complications but I would say having a sympathetic doctor and midwife definitely helped me.  I actually switched doctor and midwife towards the end of my pregnancy and it made me feel a million times better about being prodded with needles and going for bloods every other week.  I wish you all the best for bubba number 2.  Here's to hoping you don't get the same this time around xx  (Oh and btw - my little angel was born with the normal limbs and one head - despite the naysayers who said I was harming my infant with steroid creams)

  • Hi Tuliprose,

    Although my pregnancy was different to yours Both DH & I said 'NO WAY, NEVER AGAIN' after my 1st birth.  Samantha saw me pushing past the point I should have been allowed (they are supposed to call Dr if you push longer than 2hrs) & when I finally delivered her I ended up with a 3rd degree tear & high blood loss.  The stitches hurt, I felt drained & overwhelmed for many weeks following focussing on trying to be a good mum but letting my own health suffer in the process.  Only when I went out to Baby Weighing Clinics did it occur to me that I didn't need to be supermum & could ask for help & support.

    As Samantha got older we started talking more about her being an only child as both DH & I have siblings & they in turn have had more than one child.  Both of us had always seen ourselves as a family of 4 meaning we would have to have another pregnancy/birth.  We were both nervous of our memories from Samantha's birth but focused on the 'Every Pregnancy is Different' idea as we TTC telling each other that until we tried for no.2 everything was only a 'maybe' not a 'will be'.

    Once I fell pregnant with Hannah, our booking in appointment saw us look in depth at my pregnancy with Samantha (we were already seeing differences with me losing weight instead of gaining it & I was bleeding but everything was well if not a tad scary) including the birth & what the chances were of me tearing again/how bad it would be/would I be likely to lose blood again.

    It was nervy getting a 2nd BFP & knowing there was no turning back but once you get that BFP you feel calmer & more focused.  It will be different this time around because you have 'history' which they will know & monitor as your pregnancy progresses meaning symptoms will be picked up on & treated sooner.  They may well discuss elective c-sec with you giving you a chance to be better prepared for when you are going to give birth & how it will happen.  Best wishes & good luck with what you decide.

  • Hi,I am about 4 months late in replying to this but just wanted to say I know exactly what you're going through. I developed OC about 30 weeks into my first pregnancy and it was the most horrendous thing I have ever experienced.The itching was so unbearable I was admitted to the hospital a few times where I was so unwell and only getting roughly half an hour sleep a night. My daughter ended up being born at 32+5 as I'm sure you know obstetric cholestasis can lead to premature labour.Was a horrible time but thankfully she was a good weight so was in NICU for about 3 weeks. I've always wanted a big family but I have decided that because of OC I wont be having anymore because the risk is too high to get it in subsequent pregnancies.

    I completely understand your dilemma x
  • Ladies - Thanks for your advice and for sharing what I know are personal and emotional stories.

     

    Munners - I am so glad your pregnancy ended with a healthy baby.  How old is you DD now?  I felt exactly the same as you at first.  I think I am putting the itching into perspective as a temporary thing but I KNOW that it will not feel like that if I get sick again.

    I think I am now feeling more accepting and will take things as they come.  I initially was putting pressure on myself to have a VBAC but I now see with an IC pregnancy you do not need anymore things to fear (like our awful labour last time).

    The cntinual monitoring, consultant appointments, bloods and early delivery and symptoms will be plenty to cope with.

    Not sure if you have seen but there is an ICP page on facebook and also a charity called ICP Support UK which is great.  Although you do see some sad stories there are plenty of happy endings. 

  • Hi sorry to be late in replying AGAIN,think I still have baby brain!lol she is nearly 9 months now and doing brilliantly despite a tough start.She must of had a growth spurt just before she was born as she weighed 5'1.Nobody could believe it.

    I was very poorly after I had her which is something else that puts me off another baby.My waters broke but the hospital said they hadn't and I was left for 4 days before going into labour and therefore caught an infection which had me on a drip for 4 days after the birth.If I could guarantee I would not have OC in my next pregnancy I would possibly have another but too scared o take the risk.Whenever my skin gets a bit itchy (i.e if its hot) I get taken back to my pregnancy and I know I couldnt go through with it.

    Will check out the IC organisation you suggested image Although OC is horrendous its nice to speak to somebody that understands what I went through.

  • Hi,

    I know what you mean about recovery. We were in for five days and narrowly avoided a blood transfusion but needed rehydration drop an this all made ready feeding very hard but I stuck with it.

     

    for months afterward I caught infection afte infection starting in my incision and moving to mastitis, coughs, colds and numerous sickness bugs. In the en they found I was deficient in vitamin d and a course of pills helped. 

     

    Thats why I would prefer to avoid the labour but I understand c section can cause its own issues. Jut not sure i would ever be relaxed enough for a labour after all that.

     

    i hope as you move away from your experience it feels more worth it and you are enjoying our baby girl x

  • Well....we have gone and done it regardless.

    Got a BFP and due in June 2014.  Eek!

    Trying not to worry about the delivery and take it a step at a time.  I had a m/c last month which has helped to put things into perspective.  I sort of feel that 'I did it once, I can do it again and survive' and having a loss seems to make my first labour (my son) all the more precious.

    (Oh God pregnancy hormones making me cry typing this! - In for a long 9 months I think!)image

  • Hey Tuliprose, how are you doing? Hope your spotting has stopped and things are progressing well. you sound very much like me, im trying not to think on the end point of this pregnancy as I will just stress and not enjoy it at all ... like you say, I've done it once, and yes it didn't go to plan (no where near!) but I made it through. I guess my biggest fear is that my traumatic birth led to me being very ill for a long time after and was a major contributing factor to me getting PND and that was the most heartbreaking part off it ... Anyway deep breath, hoping to see if I can get some addition support on this so maybe I can make sure my head is in the right place incase I have to face the same again ... Sorry feel like I'm offloading - the joy of hormones image x

  • Teapot don't worry. The chances are really in our favour. Don't worry about offloading either.



    Yes my bleeding stopped. It was mild and never enough for a pad. It lasted 4/5 days. They did me an early scan but I was quite early on so they will scan me again in tie weeks time.

    I saw the gestational sac and yolk sac.

    They also saw something going on with my right ovary so we will look at that too.



    I am putting oc to the back of my mind. I hibk the ovary thing showed me that anything could still happen good or bad. I think the best planning is being open and goin with the flow. Something I'm not known for to be honest but will do my best.image



    Midwife told me not to even think about oc or the vbac/elective discussion until 20 weeks.



    I will have clinic appointments starting up soon but will not see my actual midwife any more than any other woman in a second pregnancy.



    My current due date is all over the place so think its 22nd June for now. I think we are taking the date from the next scan.

    If I have oc again then I would be sectioned at 37/38 so who knows could be a closer arrival date to you too.



    Hope you are feeling better xx
  • Yeah I'm feeling better, thank you, think the tummy bug just floored me and I've been slowly picking myself up again. I'm still knackered but the nausea seems somehow more manageable at the minute. 

    So glad the bleeding stopped and your early scan was very positive - fingers crossed all goes well in two weeks time image I'm hoping my scan won't be too far away, the waiting is just so difficult. It still doesn't seem real somehow and I think that scan will make everything hit home. 

    My DD was a week late, so yes if that happens again and you have an elective then we'll pretty much be bang on the same time ... You might even beat me to it! image

    hope your clinic appointments go well ... I have my booking in with midwife next week so think i'll have a good chat to her then and try and put some of my daemons to bed (for the time being anyway!) xx

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