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3rd degree tear

Hi, I suffered a 3rd degree tear 8 months ago due experiencing a very fast labour giving birth to my son. It has affected me quite badly psychologicaly and I am now scared to have sex because its still painful and I also fear becoming pregnant again. The OH doesn't understand my fears image and it is starting to put pressure on our relationship. We always wanted another baby but now I am extremely reluctant. Has anyone else experienced similar feelings?? image

Replies

  • I'm sorry I cant give any advice from experience but my sis in law had a very long traumatic first labour and tore right through sorry tmi from one hole to the other and had to be completely stitched up. She went on to have another and from what I gather it was a quick but uncomplicated labour no stitches needed. X

  • Hi Hinton, I realise you posted a while ago but I have just started using the forums again as I'm pg with no. 2 so thought I would tell you about my experience in case it might help.



    I had my DD in August 2011, it was an induced labour as she wasn't interested in coming out by herself. A pessary was inserted at 10am and by 5pm I was having light contractions. Labour progressed throughout the night and at 5am they moved me round to labour ward as I was in established labour.



    At this point the put a clip on baby's head as her heart rate was dipping with each contraction. By 9am I was feeling the urge to push but the midwives asked me to hold off so that baby would drop a bit lower and we wouldn't get too tired too quickly.



    I pushed twice, and a doctor came in saying she was going to do an assisted delivery as I was obviously struggling (?!)



    She put my legs in stirrups and was preparing her equipment for a ventouse delivery. She said if I felt the urge to push then I could as it would just bring baby closer and make ventouse easier.



    I pushed once more and baby came flying out. I had to give a second push for the body and the trainee midwife had to catch her as they had removed the end of the bed (it was a first for her)!



    They sounded the alarms and I was put on various drips and monitors and they made me sign a consent form. The doctor said I'd lost some blood and needed some stitches for a tear.



    After 2.5 hours in surgery they told me I'd had a 4the degree tear so I had completely severed the wall between vagina and anus. I also had a blood transfusion a few days later as I had lost too much for my body to pick it up by itself.



    It was months before I let my husband touch me. It was difficult for us both as medically I was told I was well healed but I was very aware of it. I had intended to be trying for no. 2 before Matilda's first birthday but that wasn't an option after that birth experience.



    However, I now feel much more normal about sex etc. and it has become enjoyable again (although if I am honest, the wrong angle can still make me feel uncomfortable but not sore). I can so squats without feeling strain too.



    So it does get better, you just have to go at your pace.



    I'm now pg with no. 2 and imagine I will feel anxious about the birth once I'm further along, but hope the midwives will be able to help with any specific issues then.



    Don't let it stop your life plans, just maybe adjust your timescales and don't pressure yourself xx
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