Partners being allowed to stay overnight with you in hospital after the birth: good idea or not?
HelenMFM
admin
Hello
We've been hearing recently that quite a few hospital maternity units are now considering allowing male (or female) partners to stay overnight in hospital with their other half after the birth of their baby.
(And indeed there are 1 or 2 hospitals that do this already.)
So we'd love to hear what you think about it all.
Would you love to have your partner staying in hospital with you overnight after your baby's born? Would you find it reassuring to have someone you know and love helping you with your newborn?
Or do you hate the idea? Maybe because that would mean there would be lots of strange men (or women) – other people's partners – on the postnatal ward with you?
Please do tell us what you think by adding a post to this thread. We'd really love to know!
Replies
I would have loved for my husband to have stayed at the hospital with me at least for the first night. I had an emergency c-section so had pain from the operation which made it difficult to get in and out of bed to change nappies and feed my baby. Although I had the option to use the call buzzer, I didn't like to as felt like I was being a nuisance and felt like it was my responsibility anyway. So I insisted that my catheter was removed so that I could manage by myself. In a way this was good as it got me up and about quicker.
By the second night, it was much easier to move around so I coped fine but certainly that first night it would have made things much easier. Aside from this reason, there was also the feeling of not knowing what to do with a first baby on your own so a little extra support would have been nice For reassurance.
I don't think I would have minded there being other husbands or partners there as there is so much going on in the postnatal ward that I don't think many people get much sleep anyway.
My fiancée was allowed to stay with me the night following our sons birth! although he only had a chair to sleep in (we were told off for sharing a bed just after midnight and then a family was moved into a bed opposite so we didn't really sleep) but feel like the bond between my son and his dad is so much stronger for spending time together so early on plus we enjoyed it all together then too! I think I would have been more tempted to sit and cry following a bad birth if he wasn't there but made it such a positive experience xx
My husband did stay with me when our Eldest was born in the early hours but had to sleep in a chair. My next was born in the afternoon & we were quickly discharged.
My most recent experience with the twins, I was 'isolated' for the first 48hrs owing to suspected norovirus & any visitors to my room had to wear aprons & gloves. I then spent the remainder of my fortnight stay in a parent & baby room in neonatal. The parent & baby room was lovely, I had my own ensuite & the room was closer to a hotel than a hospital. Had my husband not been tending to the older girls at home then he would have been able to spend the full fortnight with me (even getting his own bed in the neonatal unit)
hey lady's!
being a single mum I don't have a partner, however I really really do think that maternity wards allowing this is a good idea.
after a pregnancy that I could say was next to perfect (apart from the odd bouts of sickness, migraines and mood swings haha!) my little boys birth was a bit of a disaster. Nothing went to plan. After 36 hours of contractions, and still only progressing to 4cm dilated, all pain relief under the sun I ended up being diagnosed with strepA and sepsis so an emergency section was carried out. Because of the infections the both of us were stuck in hospital for nearing 2 weeks being monitored and pumped with antiBs through a drip.
the 2nd night of being in hospital when my OBS were stable I was sent to the recovery Ward with baby. This was the most horrendous situation I have ever found myself in. I didn't realise this until the next day when hormones were raging, I was in agony and I'd used the last of my wet wipes (I was only planning on staying for a night, not 13😂) I asked the midwife if they have any they could lend me until my dad delivered more as my boy had had a poop, she said no and I broke down 😂 I rang my mum who was on her way to the hospital with my dad anyway. When they arrived my dad asked the midwife if my mum could stay the nights with me. From then I was in my own side room and mum stayed every single night until we were sent home.
this honestly made so much difference. I was breast feeding so it wasnt as if my mum was helping with morgan physically, I got told off many times for standing up too soon and walking too quickly😂 But I just had to push through the pain, I was hoping I'd recover from the section quicker and to be fair, I feel Csection wise I did.
My mums support was refreshing for me emotionally and mentally. When I needed a little cry (often in the night when everything in those first few weeks seems harder..) she was there to give me a cuddle and share a few words of wisdom. Sometimes it's nice just having someone you're close to near. I honestly don't know how I would have got through it without my mum By my side. If I had to be alone every single night like the first couple, crikey I would have gone stir crazy.
I think that's pretty standard practice here in the US & i loved it! A few hours after our son was born we were moved to a new room... had 2 beds (1 for my husband), own little bathroom etc. second night my hubby had to go home to take care of our sick dog & a friend was visiting at the time when a nurse came in & we were discussing this... the nurse said that if my friend wanted to stay instead that that was ok!
It was great to have my husband there for that special first night & to have the extra helping hands!
The hospital I was at let us have someone with us over night, with the strict instructions that they were to stay awake all night and not allowed in the bed, as they were there to help the mums. My husband wasn't well so he went home to sleep at night and my mum stayed overnight with me. Then in the morning when visitors were allowed my dad brought husband in and took mum home so she could sleep before doing another night shift as I was in for two nights. I'd had an emergency cesarean and my canula was in an awkward place so I couldn't actually pick my son up. It helped having someone with me. I was in a room with 3 other mums and we all had our curtains closed. Some of those had their husbands with them. One guy kept going to sleep on the bed and kept getting told to go home and sleep if he wasn't going to stay awake and help. Hoping that when I go in for next baby I can still have someone with me.
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