Forum home Pregnancy Labour & birth

Bad tears (3rd degrees+) - how long before you.. you know?

I suffered a 3rd degree tear 8 weeks ago and am so scared of having sex again... my dh is being patient and not rushing me at all but in a way i feel the longer I put it off the worse it will be - I'm just so scared it will hurt?!?!

Amy x



  • hi didnt want to r&r, my tear was a cervical tear and had episiostomy???? but it took about 3 months for it to feel better, i advise kyjelly or some oil to make it really slippery down there (tmi sorry) that eased it a bit, but i found its like being a virgin again lol practise makes perfect, the more you do it the easier it will get, the longer you leave it the less it stretches and heals if you get me tc sara 36+1 xx
  • Hi

    I waited four months before trying. The first few times we gave up without actually managing but I believe this was because I was so tense and worried about it hurting.

    The first time was painful initially but things got better and better. Use lots of lubrication and a couple of glasses of wine or anything to make you relax
  • Hi,

    I had a 3rd degree tear. We started again about 4 weeks later which really surprised me as I expected it to take much longer. I think the key is relaxing and trusting your patrner to be gentle with you. Also dont do it because you feel you have to, do it because you want to.

    Lisa xx
  • I had a 3rd degree tear too. I waited 6 months before we 'did it' cos I was so scared of it tearing again but it was fine:\)
  • well just to report we did it! A couple of weeks ago and it was fine (my dh would be mortified by that evaluation! lol)!!! It was a bit tender and we took it slow but it wasn't as bad as I thought, and the second time last week was even better (think i was more relaxed the second time!)

    So if your scared like I was - take it slow but go for it - the fear was worse than the reality!

    Amy x
  • I had a 3rd degree tear. Had to be taken to theatre and stictched internally as well due to clots not coming out and attachting themselves to the lining of my stomach. Not nice just 1 hour after giving birth, I should of spent that time cuddling my precious baby that i had just delivered, not spending an hour in theatre...anyway....33 stitches later......I was ready to have sex 5 weeks after giving birth. And fell pregnant just 9 weeks after. Baby due 14th Oct and I'm now 36+4!

    Depends when your ready...I just wanted it image


Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions