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Sometimes I get so upset!
Hello fellow traumatic birthers!
Do you ever get so angry thinking about your labour and think why did it happen to me?
I had Joshua 15 months ago and both mentally and physically im completely over what happend but every so often- usually when I think about having another one I get so annoyed/upset/angry/tearful etc re-living the labour and thinking what did I do to deserve such an awful labour?
And it's not just the labour its the days that followed. Joshua was taken straight to intensive care and I had to go to theatre so i didnt see him till 11am the folowing morning, then on the 3rd day I needed two blood transfusions. Whilst I was having the transfusions the mw from scbu decided joshua was well enough to come and stay with me in trans care so I was hooked up to the transfusion trying to look after Joshua! I couldnt pick him up cos I couldnt really move he needed his nappy changing and I couldnt do it cos i couldnt move the machine- it was awful! Then the mw came back in and said he was hungry so i had to BF which was a nightmare cos it was only the 2nd time i had tried to do it cos in intensive care he was on bottles, so you can imagine im still having the transfusion and trying to BF a heavy 9lb 5oz wriggly baby! All this along with the awful tearing, bleeding, leaky boobs, hormones all over the shop really put me off having another one even though I would love a brother or sister for Joshua
Ive healed really well, I was so lucky as I never had any problems with my stitches, they never tore it never hurt to go to the loo etc I just really dont think i could handle all that happening again especially having Joshua to look after + a newborn
So am I the only one who feels cheated out of a text book labour? We really want to ttc after xmas but Im so worried ill have a smiliar labour/afterbirth.
Sorry to go on girls, oh is amazing but he hasnt physically been thoough it so its difficult for him to completely understand! xxx
Do you ever get so angry thinking about your labour and think why did it happen to me?
I had Joshua 15 months ago and both mentally and physically im completely over what happend but every so often- usually when I think about having another one I get so annoyed/upset/angry/tearful etc re-living the labour and thinking what did I do to deserve such an awful labour?
And it's not just the labour its the days that followed. Joshua was taken straight to intensive care and I had to go to theatre so i didnt see him till 11am the folowing morning, then on the 3rd day I needed two blood transfusions. Whilst I was having the transfusions the mw from scbu decided joshua was well enough to come and stay with me in trans care so I was hooked up to the transfusion trying to look after Joshua! I couldnt pick him up cos I couldnt really move he needed his nappy changing and I couldnt do it cos i couldnt move the machine- it was awful! Then the mw came back in and said he was hungry so i had to BF which was a nightmare cos it was only the 2nd time i had tried to do it cos in intensive care he was on bottles, so you can imagine im still having the transfusion and trying to BF a heavy 9lb 5oz wriggly baby! All this along with the awful tearing, bleeding, leaky boobs, hormones all over the shop really put me off having another one even though I would love a brother or sister for Joshua
Ive healed really well, I was so lucky as I never had any problems with my stitches, they never tore it never hurt to go to the loo etc I just really dont think i could handle all that happening again especially having Joshua to look after + a newborn
So am I the only one who feels cheated out of a text book labour? We really want to ttc after xmas but Im so worried ill have a smiliar labour/afterbirth.
Sorry to go on girls, oh is amazing but he hasnt physically been thoough it so its difficult for him to completely understand! xxx
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My lo is 11 weeks old today, and this time 11 weeks ago i'd been cut and the obstetrician was using forceps to pull her out whilst i was tryin to push. It upsets me cos i had to be told when to puch as well cos i really wanted to feel that sensation as well and just feel like i've missed out a bit.
It's taken me ages to recover as well and hav only just started to feel normal again but have to keep goin back to the specialist cos episiotomy (sp) hasn't healed properly.
The thought of given birth an recoverin from it again terrifies me, but i really would like a lil bro or sis for my lo at sum point in the future.
I hope the ttc goes well 4 u
xxx
Didnt know you had such a terrible birth!! Have you asked a HV or midwife about having another baby but having an elective C-section i think you have a pretty good case for it and maybe this wouldnt be so scary for you?
I had a good birth and enjoyed most of it but every now and again i get flash backs to the point where her head was crowning and i was in alot of pain and i think everybody will have some kind of not so nice memories more than others.
Your babies are soooo cute you couldnt stop having another one lol!!
Maybe worth talking to someone about it though who would understand you more than your OH as they do sort of understand but not to our extent (maybe we could kick them in the balls and say its ten times worse than that although only do that when your preggers again incase you damage the little men he he).
Luv to you and gorgeous Joshua xx
sorry you had such a bad time of it as well, but selfishly pleased someone else feels the same! its so difficult isnt trying to forget- like i said 99% of the time im fine but its that 1% that makes me shudder and think no way never again xxx
Hi Kirsty!
I havent really talked too much about my labour, cos in some ways i thought it was normal, and I suppose it wasnt the actual labour that was the problem it was like you said right at the end when you can feel the head crowning, and obviously not being able to see joshua straight away etc I spoke to the nurse when she did my smear and she said to the see the GP but i think ive done all the talking i can do about it.
I think if i have a c-section ill be more prepared, not so tired, and although recovery may be slower i wont have to worry about down below healing or blood tansfusions (hopefully)! The mw did say i would probably be a prime candidate for a c-section but part of me worries about the recovery side of that as well lol bloody babies!
I definity want another one so i think c-section is the way forward...listen to me discussing my options and im not even pregnant lol
big snogs to you and Macey xxx
I had a crap time too and can't go through that again, although would love to have more children one day. I will definately be going for an elective c-section next time.
I felt just the same as you! I did everything by the book throughout my pregnancy, didn't eat soft cheese, drink alcohol blah blah blah and had a crap pregnancy. Then I was preparing for the birth for months and read all the books about all the stages, what I can do to get baby in the best position, best birthing positions. Then also what I can do to help my recovery etc. I had planned everything about it and thought I was prepared for everything. Little did I know i'd have absoloutely no control over anything!
I was never prepared for how out of control it would be. It was the worst experience of my life and i'm never going through it again. When we decide we'd like another baby i'll go to see my doctor and get them to confirm that I can have an elective c-section as wont risk asking them when i'm already pregnant! It sounds so stupid and pathetic but it was that bad.
You had such a rough time and i think an elective could really benefit you. Everything will be planned. You'll have date and can prepare yourself for everything. Also if you know you're having a c-section you can arrange for people to help you look after Joshua etc too.
I was speaking to Zoey85 yesterday and she had an emergency c-section and was still out of hospital after 48 hours and shopping that night! xx
I'm really glad I found this topic - I didn't want to get on here and speak about my traumatic birth and how I was feeling in case I upset any first time mums. I know how scared I was before my birth and reading horror birth stories would not have helped at all!
I had my little boy 9 weeks ago - he weighed 10lb (which I was totally unprepared for as no one had said anything about me possibly having a big baby) I was induced 10 days after my due date and was fine for the first 15 hours until I was 8 cm dilated and then it all went horribly wrong and after pushing for 3 hours he got stuck low down in the birth canal. They said he was in the wrong position for a c section as they may have to cut through my bowel so they decided on ventouse and when that didn't work, forceps. I had a 3rd degree tear and lost a litre and half of blood and was in theatre for 3 hours while they tried to put me back together!
It was really upsetting to get so far through the labour and then have to have an assisted delivery. Even now, I can't talk about the birth without crying! I can talk about my little boy for hours but as soon as someone asks how I am and how i've recovered I burst into tears!
I really want to have a brother or sister for little bobby one day but don't know if I am prepared to go through all that again!
It's nice to know others feel the same as me!
Lisa
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