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birth after a traumatic birth
my first baby was born on 14th december 2004 when i was 18 years old. he was born after a 12 hour labour which started in the middle of the night, after i had 2 hours sleep. i was refused an epidural, even though i was exhuasted, and given pethidine instead, which wore off after 3 hours. it was another 7 hours before my baby was born, and i was only allowed gas & air, which they took off me in the last 3 hours. i spent 5 hours pushing [3 with no pain relief whatsoever] i was begging for a doctor because something didnt feel right [i didnt feel the overwhelming urge to push i had read about, i felt like pushing, yes, but i knew i wasnt getting anywhere]. eventually, having given brith to 5 children herself, including a breech baby, a 10 pounder and twins by c section, my mum went to fetch a doctor herself because she felt something wasnt right. [my midwife was a horror, telling me to shut up and get on with it, etc etc etc. the student midwife i has was amazing but she had to leave 3 hours before my son was born as she had to hand in her final paper or she wouldnt qualify-shortly after she left, my horrible midwife took the gas and air off me-strange,hmmm?] [i kept resisting the urge to push and holding the baby in and not pushing]
i can only remember bits and pieces, but i clearly remember the doctor coming in, taking one look at me [i was already up in stirrups], shouting at the midwife for not fetching her HOURS earlier, and then the doctor sent the midwife out to get another doctor and the next thing i remember is the room being full of doctors and students.
the doctor had to give me an epsiotomy with no local anasthetic [she had to get baby out fast] then used a ventouse, which i clearly remember snapping. then they cut me again so they could get the ventouse suction cap off, and then the doctor got the forceps out. i remember the doctor saying that if i didnt get the baby out in the next 5 minutes i would have to have a c section under general anaesthetic.
i ended up with 27 stitches, grazes and bruising.
luckily, my boy came out before they had to do that to me, which would have been bloody horrific to recover from, cut twice down below and c section stitches and a general anaesthetic to recover from?! nightmare. as it turned out, my boy was head down, but in completely the wrong position and there was no way i would have been able to get him out unassisted, the doc apologised profusely for what happened, but it wasnt her fault, it was the midwife for not doing her job properly.
this left me terrified of giving birth again, i suffered severe PND for 3 years. i had nightmares and would shake and often vomit if i thought too much about the birth.
i went to a different hospital for my second birth and the staff were amazing.
my grandma told me no two births are the same, and i wanted to believe her but i couldnt, throughout my whole second pregnancy i was terrified.
on the 10th july 2008, i gave birth to my baby girl. i was induced at 38 weeks following pregnancy complications [slow growth, reduced fluid, placenta not working properly] and after being given the pessary i had mild period like pains every 10 mins for 6 hours, [i was getting so frustrated] and i was 1cm dilated at 5:30pm. [i wasnt in any pain tho] they broke my waters, and they said i probably wouldnt have the baby for another 8 hours at least as progress was so slow. and i used gas and air and asked for an epidural, but the anaesthetist was stuck in theatre so i had to wait till half 7 - but the contractions were barely 10 seconds apart and i knew there would not be time, and at this point i started to panic and cried, i wa sso frightened thinking it was all gonna happen the same again, i was terrified of getting to the pushing stage and not having any pain relief. as the anaesthetist walked in, i started to feel the urge to push and this time it was overwhelming and i couldnt NOT push, if you understand me.
i had to put the gas and air down as i could hear the midwife telling me something but i couldnt understand her, so i came back down to earth and listened to her.
at 7:34pm my little girl was born after 4 pushes !!!
i went into shock after and kept asking 'is it really over? is she really out? is that it? is that all i have to push?' as i couldnt believe the pushing stage was over to fast - 10 mins compared to 5 hours previously ! it was an amazing experience and i still cant believe how different my two experiences are, [i had 1 stitch this time, i had a laceration on my labia, so it was just a cosmetic tear rather than a deep muscle tear]
so if anyone is worrying about giving birth after a horrible experience, please take comfort in my story and if anyone wants to talk any time, about anything regarding it, then i am always here with an ear.
/b]
i can only remember bits and pieces, but i clearly remember the doctor coming in, taking one look at me [i was already up in stirrups], shouting at the midwife for not fetching her HOURS earlier, and then the doctor sent the midwife out to get another doctor and the next thing i remember is the room being full of doctors and students.
the doctor had to give me an epsiotomy with no local anasthetic [she had to get baby out fast] then used a ventouse, which i clearly remember snapping. then they cut me again so they could get the ventouse suction cap off, and then the doctor got the forceps out. i remember the doctor saying that if i didnt get the baby out in the next 5 minutes i would have to have a c section under general anaesthetic.
i ended up with 27 stitches, grazes and bruising.
luckily, my boy came out before they had to do that to me, which would have been bloody horrific to recover from, cut twice down below and c section stitches and a general anaesthetic to recover from?! nightmare. as it turned out, my boy was head down, but in completely the wrong position and there was no way i would have been able to get him out unassisted, the doc apologised profusely for what happened, but it wasnt her fault, it was the midwife for not doing her job properly.
this left me terrified of giving birth again, i suffered severe PND for 3 years. i had nightmares and would shake and often vomit if i thought too much about the birth.
i went to a different hospital for my second birth and the staff were amazing.
my grandma told me no two births are the same, and i wanted to believe her but i couldnt, throughout my whole second pregnancy i was terrified.
on the 10th july 2008, i gave birth to my baby girl. i was induced at 38 weeks following pregnancy complications [slow growth, reduced fluid, placenta not working properly] and after being given the pessary i had mild period like pains every 10 mins for 6 hours, [i was getting so frustrated] and i was 1cm dilated at 5:30pm. [i wasnt in any pain tho] they broke my waters, and they said i probably wouldnt have the baby for another 8 hours at least as progress was so slow. and i used gas and air and asked for an epidural, but the anaesthetist was stuck in theatre so i had to wait till half 7 - but the contractions were barely 10 seconds apart and i knew there would not be time, and at this point i started to panic and cried, i wa sso frightened thinking it was all gonna happen the same again, i was terrified of getting to the pushing stage and not having any pain relief. as the anaesthetist walked in, i started to feel the urge to push and this time it was overwhelming and i couldnt NOT push, if you understand me.
i had to put the gas and air down as i could hear the midwife telling me something but i couldnt understand her, so i came back down to earth and listened to her.
at 7:34pm my little girl was born after 4 pushes !!!
i went into shock after and kept asking 'is it really over? is she really out? is that it? is that all i have to push?' as i couldnt believe the pushing stage was over to fast - 10 mins compared to 5 hours previously ! it was an amazing experience and i still cant believe how different my two experiences are, [i had 1 stitch this time, i had a laceration on my labia, so it was just a cosmetic tear rather than a deep muscle tear]
so if anyone is worrying about giving birth after a horrible experience, please take comfort in my story and if anyone wants to talk any time, about anything regarding it, then i am always here with an ear.
/b]
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Replies
My second time around i got out of bed, my waters broke and 20 minutes later there he was. i had the urge to push and it all felt quite natural - i think i was in that primitive natural state that you hear some people talk about. my hubby was panicking but i was totally calm.
fortunately the paramedics got there for the last 2 pushes with some gas and air tho!!
i did tear quite badly again but this was just unfortunate as he shot out so fast and because i had tore badly before. I was told if my mw had arrived in time she may have been able to direct him out a bit gentler but i doubt it - there was no stopping him!
serves me right for taking raspberry leaf in a bid to stop a repeat of the first birth!
I had had clc the second time and there had been talk of a ceaserian 2nd time round but the births could not have been more different.
well done spongebob - great idea to post that.
And what an idiot m/w you had. lucky your mum was there! Did you get any support after? it sounds like you had a terrible time. I'm so glad that you had a better time the second time. I think if it was me i would of booked myself straight in for a c-section
finally got my new pc so will be on here a lot more !
yeah i know what you mean, i described my second birth to people as if a primal part of my brain had woken up and taken over, shoving me to the side and letting me watch ! [or maybe it was just the gas and air!] but yeah, it felt totally primal and i was amazed.
hayley: easy to say i know, but the thing that helped me keep calm during my 2nd pregnancy was this: labour & birth is not something i can control. i cant control it, it is out of my hands totally. it is a part of my brain i cant control and my body will do the best it can and if its best isnt good enough, there will be medical staff there to help.
once i accepted that i had no control, it was really liberating. weird, i know, but hey.