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[Modified by: lilbean on 06 August 2010 18:45:26 ]

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  • Hi Lilbean.

    I had a very different pregnancy and labour from you but can sympathise. I had problems from 5 weeks and ended up with SPD so can sympathise with that with you! I was told my pregnancy was probably ectopic at 5 weeks and it all went downhill from there.

    I, like you, really waited to have a baby and he was so wanted. We was lucky to fall on the first month and in some way I felt this added intensity ans we were so lucky!

    My waters went at 40+5 and it was a good 15 hours before any contractions started and I was petrified of induction (for some reason!). Anyhoo the long and short of it was I was awake and in labour/slow labour for 3 days, once geting o the hospital for the 3rd time told I was 4 cm's (after hours and hours of pacing home/hospital with no pain relief!) and sent to labour ward, here we go I thought. I did another 4 hours with no pain relief and lots of walking the hospital to then be examined and told sorry you are 1 cm!!!!! The midwives on the ward had got it wrong due to a very thin cervix. I had wanted a water birth throughout my pregnancy and this is what I was holding on for. I was then told I had to have an induction drip to speed things up as I was approching the 48 hour mark for waters breaking.baby arriving saftely. As I am sure you can imagine by this point I was so upset I decided to have an edidural. Luckily it only took 4 hours to go from 1-10cm dilated but when it cagme to pushing, after 2 hours, nothing was happening. A consultant was called and I waited... it was decided a double episiotomy and forceps was needed as baby was elbow first and quite large (I had raised issues time and time again at midwives bout size of bump/baby but was ignored!).

    So I had my assisted delivery and as baby was put onto me the emergency button was pushed, a room full of people rushed in and a code red was sent out for my room as I was heamorrhaging badly! Sorry to go on but it is not a short story to tell!!!!!

    Anyway, luckliy 6 hours after he was born I got to hold and try and feed my (nearly) 9lb baby. He was so hungry I could not latch him on and it took 2 midwives and many bottles before he was satisfied. As a result of this I was unable to breasfeed as my milk did not come in and I then had health problems from the birth. I then had a very difficult baby that would not settle and was not like 'all other babies I had known previously'. I found this very difficult and did not bond the way I wanted to with my litle man. I did not even post my birth sotry in Due in Nov as it was too hard for me to write and so much longer and complicated then I wrote here.

    Anyway, despite all this I now have a great bond with my 7 month old Sonny, even though he is still a rascal and still not a very good sleeper!

    I was very lucky to have a good HV and set of home midwives and they really helped me to overcome any issues or feelings I had. I found it hard to understand that it was ok to feel this way, especially with a baby I had waited so long for.

    Sorry for rambling on but did not feel my understanding came across without sharing my story with you.

    I hope all goes well for you and your family in the future.

    Kerry xxx
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    [Modified by: lilbean on August 06, 2010 06:45 PM]




  • [Modified by: Caza82 on September 07, 2010 01:21 AM]

  • Deleted

    [Modified by: lilbean on August 06, 2010 06:46 PM]

  • thank you lilbean, so glad u are feeling better now. Thank you for the name compliment. image
    I was re-sutured on sunday evening. I ment to say birth story not birth plan btw!
    Its all a bit gross but they found dead tissue and had to do a little more repairing than was thought but omg it was painful! had local injections and gas and air.
    I now feel like i have given birth all over again but I am resting more now and trying to let it heal. If this fails again than they wont restitch and it will be left to heal naturally and he suggested future reconstruction!!eek!
    Im not sure about which part of the birth was worse to be honest. It doesnt help that all this has happened after either.
    I actually think it was when Lily stopped breathing but my husband has said the worst for him was when i was out of it with the pain and they had to slap me awake around the time i was like out of the exorcist! Those 2 hrs was the worst for him. He does say that he knew Lily would be ok as he could see a lot more than me u see.
    I am thinking about having a professional go through my notes. I have seen them but i still dont fully understand the events. I am all for talking and i think i scare people tho but my husband not so much. He wants to try and forget about it.
    Anyway, today i am feeling much better I no longer feel ill. Just a bit sore. Lily is sleeping more in the nights and my husband has been doing everything but the feeds to let me recover. He has been fab.
    I definitely agree about some parts being bigger than others now in reflection as the memory begins to soften a bit. It also helps that i no longer feel so unwell that i actually enjoy the feeds and the nappy changes now i have more energy. I even attempted at singing to stop the crying today!! lol
    xx
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