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Hospital fears
Hi!
I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my 4th child and am already terrified about the birth. I had hoped to have a homebirth but my midwife was totally dismissive of the idea because of my history.
I have 3 year old twins who were born at 32 weeks by emergency section. I spent most of the pregnancy and 2 weeks afterwards in hospital and I hated it.
When I became pregnant again only 5 months later I insisted on a natural birth and had to fight hard for it. I spoke to 3 different consultants who all made me feel stupid for not taking the easy option of a section, but I had 12 month old toddlers to care for as well and couldn't do that while recovering from surgery. Eventually my consultant agreed on the condition I was monitored constantly in case my scar ruptured. I looked into the risks and discovered there was only a 0.01% chance of this happening.
When my labour started my husband was kicked out of the hospital leaving me alone until my waters broke. I had to ring my husband and mother myself to tell them to come in. When I got to the labour ward I was immediately hooked up to a CCG machine and told not to move so they could monitor my daughters heartbeat. Obviously I was in agony as I couldn't stand, squat or walk off the pain. I ended up begging for an epidural. The birth was awful, I had shooting pain down my leg due to being stuck on my back and the midwife was horrible, telling me to shut up and stop screaming (my husband actually left the room coz he wanted to punch her!). Eventually the pain in my leg got so bad I couldn't push anymore and my daughter was delivered by forceps.
Half an hour after the birth my mother and husband were again kicked out and I was left alone in a room still swimming in blood with a crying baby I couldn't reach because of all the tubes etc I was attached to. I had to buzz 3 times before anyone came to pass her to me.
When I was eventually transferred to the post-natal ward there were no doctors available to discharge me so I was in hospital, on my own, for another 12 hours.
Now I am pregnant again (unplanned) and am absolutely terrified! All I want is to have my baby my way in my own home where I can relax and not be left on my own. My midwfe made me feel stupid for even suggesting this and I ended up leaving the appointment in tears.
I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my 4th child and am already terrified about the birth. I had hoped to have a homebirth but my midwife was totally dismissive of the idea because of my history.
I have 3 year old twins who were born at 32 weeks by emergency section. I spent most of the pregnancy and 2 weeks afterwards in hospital and I hated it.
When I became pregnant again only 5 months later I insisted on a natural birth and had to fight hard for it. I spoke to 3 different consultants who all made me feel stupid for not taking the easy option of a section, but I had 12 month old toddlers to care for as well and couldn't do that while recovering from surgery. Eventually my consultant agreed on the condition I was monitored constantly in case my scar ruptured. I looked into the risks and discovered there was only a 0.01% chance of this happening.
When my labour started my husband was kicked out of the hospital leaving me alone until my waters broke. I had to ring my husband and mother myself to tell them to come in. When I got to the labour ward I was immediately hooked up to a CCG machine and told not to move so they could monitor my daughters heartbeat. Obviously I was in agony as I couldn't stand, squat or walk off the pain. I ended up begging for an epidural. The birth was awful, I had shooting pain down my leg due to being stuck on my back and the midwife was horrible, telling me to shut up and stop screaming (my husband actually left the room coz he wanted to punch her!). Eventually the pain in my leg got so bad I couldn't push anymore and my daughter was delivered by forceps.
Half an hour after the birth my mother and husband were again kicked out and I was left alone in a room still swimming in blood with a crying baby I couldn't reach because of all the tubes etc I was attached to. I had to buzz 3 times before anyone came to pass her to me.
When I was eventually transferred to the post-natal ward there were no doctors available to discharge me so I was in hospital, on my own, for another 12 hours.
Now I am pregnant again (unplanned) and am absolutely terrified! All I want is to have my baby my way in my own home where I can relax and not be left on my own. My midwfe made me feel stupid for even suggesting this and I ended up leaving the appointment in tears.
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Replies
At the minute my baby is breech, so they have said i may need to have a section, but like you i have smaller children at home,so i am going to avoid this at all costs!
Your mw is there to give you guidence, not to dismiss your wishes. Can you not ask to chance to someone else?
As far as your birth experience is concerned i know how you feel, when i had my ds, the hospital did exactly the same thing to me. Making my oh leave as soon as he was born as it was late and then just leaving me in a room where i couldnt reach him, after a long exhusting birth, thats the last thing you should need.
Try and ring and speak to another mw and voice your concerns. Pregnancy is a hard enough time without the added stress of worrying about the birth as well.
Sorry i can't be of much help, but just to reassure you my second child was also born in hospital and i had a totally different experience.
Good luck hun x x
I've got a scan appt at the end of the month and will be seeing a consultant then so hopefully I will be able to get a second opinion.
I'm also opting for a home birth this time and luckily my mw has been very supportive about it. I would say definately stand up to them and push for one - it is your right. At the same time I would recommend mentally preparing for the possibility of going into hospital incase something happens at the time to prevent a home birth.
Good luck - I hope you get to have your hb, all the research I have done on it have been so positive.
Sarah 39+2