Worried about where to give birth - nhs or private?

pink-angel15 · Aug 21, 2009 6:02PM

Hello ladies,

Just to start I'm not yet pregnant but trying and thinking ahead to the birth and one thing that has really been playing on my mind is how alot of people seem to be treated by staff/midwives in nhs hospitals.

I have heard plenty of horror stories from my friends and reading some birth stories on here only backs up my fears!

I've had friends who were forced to push so hard that their bladder collapsed and they had to have a catheter for a week until their bladder recovered, another was shouted at whilst the doctor was putting in the epidural becasue he was hitting a nerve and her legs kept moving and then one who was so badly stiched up afterwards she couldn't even put a tampon in and so 6 months later went to a private hospital to be cut and re-stiched as they did such an appauling job. Just hearing about how filthy alot of the facilities are just beggars belief. Why are some staff so rude when this is supposed to be one of the most amazing times of your life and you need people around you to make you feel safe as you are so vulnerable and scared, it actually really upsets me.

I'm waking up in the morning with that awful churning in my stomach I'm that worried and I know I'm not even pregnant but I can't help but plan ahead i'm afraid.

Does anyone have any advice, is going private going to so fantastic - does anyone have expeience of both to compare?

thank you xxx

TheHogMama · Jul 27, 2009 6:41AM

I have only one child! and was NHS - and thought they were fab, there was one doctor I didn't like - I had a long labour with fetal distress, continual monitoring, ending after i got all the way to 10cm with an emergency c-sec so I experienced most things they had on offer!

I loved my labour and thought my care was fabx I wouldn't blink twice about going with nHS second time round. The only gripe I ever had was with my consultant led care prior to the birth, and next time I want midwife led care x

pen-37297 · Jul 27, 2009 9:59AM

hi i have got 5 children and had them all in an NHS hospital. each pregnancy, labour and birth have been very different and have had to be treated for pre eclampsia in 3 of my pregnancies and nothing has been too much trouble for the midwives or doctors treating me. all very nice experiences. xx

teenytiny · Aug 21, 2009 11:25AM

Hi

I had an NHS birth first time round and can't say I had the best experience. With the staff it's pretty much pot luck I encoutered some lovely midwives but unfortunately most of those that dealt with me weren't and some were complete bitches. I won't go into it all. However I had friends who went to the same hospital and found the staff fantastic.

Second time round I eventually decided to go with an independent midwife who was fantastic and had a homebirth. The care I received was exceptional, I had a good rapport with her and had a very positive birth experience. If I ever got pregnant again I would opt for private care again not because I don't think there are good midwives in the NHS but after having such a bad time first time round and then such a positive experience with private care I'd just rather not take the risk again. The downside is how expensive it is but I do think it is worth every penny and more.

mummabear-72331 · Aug 21, 2009 6:02PM

I agree with teenytiny - we have just opted to go with 2 independent midwives this week and have a homebirth so that we (hopefully!) get what we want for our birth (water birth, hypno, more relaxed and in a non-medical environment). Im now 28+3 and only yesterday did I actually see our requested mw on the NHS - only my second appt with a mw after my first at 8wks when we booked in. Our independent mw's were appalled to find this out. But every hospital and area is different - a lot of girls have had way more appts with their mw's.

I would explore all of your options and decide what you actually want with your birth - you may not be able to decide this straight away! (I went from wanting to be "knocked out and woken up at the end" because I fear all medical things so much, to now wanting a natural birth at home in the water using hypno!) When you decide what you want you can weigh up all of your options. e.g. is a labour ward best for you, or a birth centre, or a home birth? Then you can decide on who you could use, and costs can play a factor in this decision.

Private hospitals vary in price - usually you pay for the hospital fee + either a mw lead birth or a consultant lead birth (we found the mw lead one to be a more costly option at our hospital). This is our first and we were originally going to go down the private hospital route but at ??11k+ thought it was a bit much, especially considering if things got complicated that they would only have to transfer us to the NHS where the staff/equipment that was needed was.

Independent mw's can also vary. We are paying ??4k - and now I wish we had decided this earlier as the cost is the same if you use them from 12 wks and we are now 28wks. You can use independent mw's for a home birth or they can be a birth companion at your chosen hospital - so they act as a doula (because they do not have insurance to work in the hospital and therefore official care is out of their hands when you arrive for your birth). We have only met with them once this week and I just love them. The service is absolutely amazing in comparison to what we have had (well, not hard since we've had NO service!!) This being our first after a mmc, it is much more reassuring now that we are in safe hands. They will come to your home or work for appointments, or wherever is most convenient for YOU. But most importantly, they see you regularly and you can call on them anytime! (I can never get through to mine on the NHS as no one EVER answers the phone, despite their being 3 different extension numbers to call...they all just cut you off :evil: ).

A doula is another option that many women take. They also assist you before, during and after the birth.

Hope that helps.
xx

Worried about where to give birth - nhs or private?

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