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Hi ladies, I am 21+1 and am absolutely terrified of giving birth and tearing and then needing stiches later. I am opting for an epidural when the time comes but have heard so many horror stories of people needing stitches and this being the worst part of labour! My midwife also thinks I might need to be induced early because of pre-eclampsia in the family and I have really high blood pressure, so that's probably not helping either!

My mum had a 3rd degree tear with my sister and said it was horrendous plus having read some stories on here, it's scaring me so much. I know the birth will be painful anyway but I can't stop panicing about having to be stitched. I know it's not the same thing but I needed 15 stithes in the bottom of my foot and it was the worst pain I've ever felt (I know, I'm a total wimp and that will be nothing compared to child birth).

Please help



  • Hi hun Ive got 2 children, with my firsti had an episiotomy and my second a 3rd degree tear and it wasnt have as bad as i thought it was going to be. In fact with my second i had a pain relief free birth and when it came to stitching me up my midwife said she might as well just stitch me streight away. Usually you will be given an injection to numb the area.
    It honestly isnt that bad, you will be pretty much numb down there anyway after the birth, which is why my midwife didnt give me anything plus you will be too engrossed in your little one to care, so please try to relax x x
  • Thanks for your replies ladies, just need to keep fingers crossed I don't actually tear and if I do i'll be too engrossed in little one to care image

    Good luck with the birth of your baby Teabags and I might look into that oil

    Thanks again ladies xx
  • i had an episiotomy & ventouse delivery, i had had an epidural but it was wearing off a little, i didn't feel anything at all as they do numb you for the cut & stitches, you are cuddling your baby anyway at this point, so you won't be focused on your stitches, i had absolutely no problems with mine at all, & all healed beautifully, try not to worry, you might not need stitches & if you follow the midwife lead on when to push, pant etc, you hopefully won't tear either. what will be, will be, it'll allbe forgotten in a blink once you see your precious new baby. x
  • Hi hun

    I had a small tear - wouldnt even have noticed if she hadnt have said and it stung very slightly when they stitched me but i was so overjoyed at having given birth to my beautiful baby girl they could have been doing anything to me and i wouldnt have cared. I just wanted them to hurry so i could sit up and get lots of cuddes from my new baby.

    My friend had a terrible tear last yr - 3rd degree - she never felt a thing and had to go to theatre to have it stitched but her only concern was leaving her baby for a little while cos she wanted to be with him. She only had a bit of pain after but only that she was abit uncomfy sitting down on hard seats and she was just a little nervous about going to the loo in the week after giving birth but she soon realised she was ok. Shes never had any problems with it since.

    Please dont let yourself worry about it - i can honestly say when your baby is born you really dont care what they do to you as you are so overjoyed and its such a relief to finally have baby in your arms.

    Good luck xx
  • Stitches aren't fun, (I had a second degree tear) but it's really not as bad as people make it out to be, and if you have had an epidural then you wont even feel it.

    Just make sure you take it easy and get loads of rest for a couple of weeks aftewards, I did too much and pulled my stiches, thank fully they held enough (so I didn't have to be re-stitched) but it was a close thing.

  • I actually don't know anyone who did not have stitches after their first birth. I think its part of the course.Most of them disolve and are internal so you can't see them. If you ahve an epidural you certainly won't feel it. Afterwards you are given pain killers etc so again you don't feel anything. I had a 3rd degree and it was fine just a little uncomfortable. Nothing to worry about. You will be fine xx
  • i had an episiotamy so got stitched up and i didnt even feel it. I also heard that its better to tear but i am not so sure, at least with a proper cut it is controlled by the midwife, with a tear there is no control. Anyway, i had the injection before the cut so didnt feel a thing with the cut or stitches and had minimal pain afterwards. Just listen to the midwifes, they know whats best.
  • I also had a third degree tear with my dd and I couldn't tell you the moment when I actually tore, either I was numb and didn't feel it or it all became part of the general pain of giving birth. The mw told me after it was a 3rd degree and I was really surprised. If you tear as badly as that then they send you up to theatre to be stitched by the consultant. Don't be scared if this is the case. It's the best thing as they can do a better job of these tears in theatre and you're given a spinal block then. It honestly isn't as bad as it sounds. I healed really well.]

    Good luck!
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