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Insensitive Comments!!!!

Am I being completely unreasonable?!

One of my best friends, who has 4 children, has just posted on facebook that she has been pregnant or breastfeeding 85 out of the last 100 months and never will again, so she is bereft.

Bereft?! Oh you poor thing. 4 children not enough for you?!? Try the thought of never being able to carry yourown child and never breast feeding. Thats "bereft".

To be fair, I havn't told her about our struggles, I have just said we can't afford children yet, but I'm pretty sure its a transparent lie and its still thoughtless.

Its also galling that they have a similar income to us, but have been able to afford a huge extension & new kitchen and rented a 2nd house while this was being done. How the hell??!!!

Rant over!


  • I forgot- and a new car to fit their 4 children in!
  • G/c well she's obviously in a lot of debt then... However maybe u should tell her about your difficulties she would probably feel terrible if she knew! I don't think u can blame her for being insensitive if she doesn't know x
  • I can't bear to tell her, unfortunately, she's a very old friend, but is reknowned for being insensitive and condescending. When I was single and she was on her 2nd pregnancy, she tactfully told me that I should hurry up and start a family, as I might find I won't be able to if I leave it too late.

    Ok, I'll just trot along and find me a husband....or maybe I should just get knocked up by the first man who comes along? Stupid thing to say!

    Yes, I'm sure they're in a lot of debt, but to be able to afford the loan in itself is unthinkable for us. I just don't understand how its possible. I'm in a bit of a "feeling sorry for myself" mood today!
  • I hate it when this journey gets like that. Is so tough. People really should edit their thoughts before vocalising them! Sorry you're feeling it today Windy, it sucks.
  • WM, when my "new mummy" SIL asked when we were having more children and I told her that we had been trying to for two years, she said, "oh, I had only been off the pill for six weeks when I found out I was pregnant."

    And my "newly pregnant" colleague told me that she would start for #2 as soon as possible as she didn't want to be in my position.

    They're not being intentionally mean. They just haven't been there and have NOOOOO idea how hard this is.

    Also, I think FB is such a gloaty, show-off place. I hate smug statuses. People put on a front, hun. You never know what is going on behind closed doors. Everything may seem rosy for them but it might not be the case.

    Have a rant, a cry ... whatever you need but don't dwell on it too long. Don't waste time thinking about those unthinking people.
  • Thakd Bubblicious! What a sensible and understanding post. I will endeavour to follow your example! I've just had to reply to her post (having left it a few hours to calm down!)suggsting she thinks about how lucky she is to have 4 beautiful, healthy girls and that some women never get to be pregnant, or hold their babies.
  • hey windymiller

    some people will never realise how lucky they are. . and some people really don't no they are upsetting you cos they so wrapped US in themselves. . and there world.

    unless they walked a mile in your shoes or should i say years in our shoes they Wil never understand the feeling of perhaps never being able to have one child. big hugs chick x x hope its gonna be your time soon x x
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