how would you feel about doner eggs?

boooey · Oct 18, 2011 11:48AM

hi ladies

well Im currently on 2ivf at moment.

been told if i get same result i would need to consider doner egg option. this is a hard decision i am hoping i don't have to make.

would you ladies do it? bearing in mind we have no children. its a scary option am praying it won't come to it. what are your thoughts? x x

booey

TiggerRoo · Sep 13, 2011 3:55AM

I suppose the way you have to think about it, is that donor eggs will still allow you to carry the baby and give birth to it so you will be Mom, without a doubt. Although it's still a very difficult decision, and a scary one that I suppose we all worry we won't have to make, I think that I would do it if it was the only chance I would get to experience carrying my own child (because it my eyes I suppose it would be my own child). I suppose it depends on how you feel about it, but I think I would if I was given no other option.

I'm sure it won't come to that booey for you, when is your egg collection?

WindyMiller · Sep 13, 2011 9:05AM

I was thinking about this today too. I hope it won't come to this for you, Booey. Although I wondered how you would go about discussing the issues with your child when they were older, I would still go for it.

I assume they use hubby's sperm whenever possible?

xx

MrsH6 · Sep 13, 2011 1:40PM

G/c as i see it, the recipient of a donor egg is a biological mother. whilst carrying any baby (natural/ivf/donor egg/donor embryo ) it lives off your blood supply. Whilst you may not be a genetic parent, everything you do affects the development of the unborn child. It is your voice it hears whilst in the womb, you give birth to it and it is your child. I truely hope your 2nd cycle of IVF works out, but if not, dont dismiss the use of a donor xxx

boooey · Oct 13, 2011 1:13AM

hey ladies

it now looks like this is my route. can't believe it.

never in a million years would i thought i would be in this boat. but when your faced with your only option, what do you do?

life is cruel sometime. but life is short also and i only get one attempt at living so to live without being a mother i just can't do. i have so much love to give to my baby that my answer is yes i would consider doner eggs x x

jmpappon · Oct 13, 2011 2:00AM

Hi Booey, i'm gate crashing but just wanted to say, yes, if I was left with the option of donor eggs or adoption, donor eggs would be my preference, for entirely selfish reasons, quicker, experience of being pregnant and getting that connection immediatley, being genetically linked to hubby. Hope you get some info and advice that helps you plan your next steps at your review today x

boooey · Oct 13, 2011 2:08AM

thanks jmpappon!

yes need lots of info etc. .

doner egg seems to be light at end of else tunnel now x x

Hollie_M · Oct 13, 2011 9:17AM

Boooey I can only but imagine it's a really daunting and heart aching situation to be in for you.

At least with donor eggs, you still carry that baby inside you and feeling it growing and moving, and it lives off YOU. It will FEEL like it is 100% yours and it will be. You are the one you will give birth to it, look after it and make sacrafices for it. You don't even need to tell people. And at least they can use your hubby's sperm. It is deffinately without a doubt still your baby.

If I was in the same situation as you, then I would deffinately use donor eggs.

Lots of luck for you next IVF attempt. xxxx

MrsCupcake87 · Oct 14, 2011 3:00PM

Ive also thought about how id feel if it came to that for us (although we dont really know the cause of the infertility).

I know a family who used a donor egg to have their child... Im not 100% sure of the circumstances around it, but they know of the women who donated her eggs... it was all arranged through the ACU, but theres something now that donors cant be anon... and it turns out the donor lives very very very locally!! (5 min walk.. same town).

Yeah i agree it would take alot of thinking over, but at the end of the day you carry that baby for nine months and make the sacrifices for it.

xx

WindyMiller · Oct 14, 2011 3:31PM

My sister has donated her eggs (40 in the last 6 months- 4 women received them) and they're details are available once the child reaches 18 and for health purposes. But otherwise its anonomous.

Its absolutely your baby and I would give anything to carry my own baby, so take ay chance you can xx

oscar2 · Oct 18, 2011 11:48AM

hi booey

just been reading through your posts and im sure there's nothing i can really say to make you feel better at the moment. I'm just so sorry things went the wrong way again

You sound like the most amazingly loving and maternal person and i think it would be wrong for a child not to receive all that love you have to give him/her, however that child comes to you. You have some unbelievably hard decisions to make and i can't pretend i know what you're going through - but i will say that i have a friend who has had a baby using a donor egg and she's never looked back. Her gorgeus little boy is her whole world and, although she had fears when she made the initial decision, she now has a firm belief that fate intervened to bring him to her. Sometimes through the worst knocks life has to give us we get the most wonderful blessings, she could not be any less his mother, she's grown him, her husband is his daddy, she has fed him and nurtured him and now he's here, like all mummies, she can't bare the thought that she might have had any baby but him.

I know this doesnt mean it would be the right decision for you but im sure once you had got to the end of the road with it, and were holding your child, you'd feel the same, though its understandable you have doubts and fears now.

I know its easy for me to say as i have my baby, but have shed a tear for you today as i can't imagine how painful this must be for you

sending big hugs and lots of strength to you and your husband, im sure you'll make the right decision together xx

how would you feel about doner eggs?

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