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CD1 again....

Well as the title says AF arrived yesterday, and now this month will be month 15. I was doing ok until about 2 days ago - concentrating on my weight loss has kind of taken my mind off obsessing about ttc for most of this month. However, I still get disappointed each month wondering why it can't be me when AF arrives :? One of the women on our street has just had a baby aswell, so I came home to baby boy banners all over the doors. I know I should feel happy for her and that be that, but I just can't help resent the fact that it's not me :cry: I know that makes me a really bad person.... imageops:


  • No you're not. I caused a stir at work when I walked out a meeting on Friday. Everyone was talking about weekend plans, all around kids. I was asked what I was up to, and was told how lucky I was that me and hubby could go out for a meal. On they went about how lucky I was to have disposable income, and on, and on. Until I walked out. Doesnt sound that bad, but sat in toilets I was mortified...

    Plenty of babies round my way as well. I think the worst was finding out a friend was pregnant on a night out, weeks after everyone else "because she didn't know how to tell me". I also get quite angry at the tv adverts with babies etc.

    I'm just getting on for 2 years and utterly fed up. We're not bad people, just having to put up with horrible times.
  • Aw you are not a bad person its perfectly normal to feel that way. I certainly feel the same as you! Im on month 15 of trying since my mc so know what you're going through. My af should be due next week and although Ive been feeling more positive and focusing on losing weight and other things I know I'll feel so disappointed when I start!I know a few ladies whao are pregnant at the momoent and I feel the same resentment altho I try not too! Things always seem worse on CD1 so don't beat yourself up! Do somwthing nice today to cheer yourself up and just think its another month to lose more weight before you get your bfp, thats the way Im trying to look at it, not that its easy xxxx

    Take care and good luck for next month xxx
  • Thanks. Sometimes its nice to know its not just you. I've been out for a bit and feel a bit better, but just got back in and during the last hour about 10 people have walked past visiting my neighbour with new baby gifts. When will it ever be me? :x
  • My friend who's 6 months pregnant just left our house after staying for the night. We talked a lot about their plans for the future and I was a bit sad that they talked as if we will never have a baby. I don't know if they just didn't want to say anything. But I felt like shouting "we might have a baby then too!!!" A little over-sensitive, but hey!
  • Hi TiggerRoouk I feel exactly the same hun, AF is due tomorrow and I had a huge temp dip today so I know she's on her way. We're going onto month 14 and I'm totally gutted, I just wish I knew that one day we'd have some luck and get a BFP. At times getting pregnant seems impossible.

    I hope you feel better in a couple of days, like the other ladies said CD1 is the worse! x
  • I know exactly how you're feeling. Had very high hopes this month, however AF has shown her ugly face :evil:

    You're not alone hun

    H xx
  • Nice to know it's not just me. I'm now on CD4 and feeling a bit better. Had some blood tests today to check my hormone profile, so should get the results this week.
  • Hollie_M so sorry that the witch got you hun.

    Well she got me today too and I feel utterly rubbish. I feel so low at the moment, I'm really struggling to keep positive and think that we'll get there one day. I was told that one of the ladies gave birth to a baby boy and I found out that another is pregnant - I just smiled and pretended that everything was ok but I just wanted to scream - why can't it be our turn?

    TiggerRoouk glad you are feeling a little better hun, FC the blood tests all come back ok. I've just got to wait for DH's SA re-test so don't think there is anything we are do until after that.

    Just hope I feel better in a couple of days x
  • Hollie and loopy sorry af got you. Cd 1 hardest, always.

    Sending you both ((hugs))

    And TigerRoo of course belated sorry and ((hug))
  • No it doesnt make you a bad person at all. I used to feel like that when we were trying for no.2. Even though I already had a little girl I was so desperate to fall pregnant. Each month I was so dissappointed and always wondered when is it my turn?!

    Why cant we fall pregnant first month hey? xx
  • (((Hugs)))) to all of you! CD1 is definitley the pits, so hope you're all feeling better now a few days have passed x x x

    Tiggeroo, hope your blood tests come back ok x

    It's rubbish there's so many of us in the same boat image I just feel like we're going through the motions each month after getting hubs poor SA back. I know/hope it will happen one day, but that day seems a very very log way away right now :cry:
  • Hi Vickster_77 I feel the same as you about 'going through the motions' I can't help but think that we need help and nothing will happen until DH has his SA re-test and then we'll be in for a very long wait whatever happens.

    Thanks SummerW74 for the kind words.

    I hope and pray that we will all get there one day x
  • Found out yesterday that one of my ovaries is mildly polycystic. I'm not quite sure how to feel about it as my other one is fine, and I don't really have symptoms associated with PCO. I'm hoping that it'll be ok, but I'm starting to worry that we might never have a baby :cry:
  • Hi TiggerRoo sorry to hear your news did the doctor give you any advice?

    As there is only a slight problem with one of the ovaries I wouldn't have thought it would caused you issues with TTC there are lots of women on here with PCOS and have gone onto conceive. I'm no expert but I would definitely have a chat with your doctor even if it's just to put your mind at ease.

    FC you'll get you BFP soon, I'm trying to stay +ve and think that we'll all get there when the time is right x
  • Vickster have you have you looked into any other options re referral or will you just wait like you'd been adviced? Hope you get a surprise bfp x

    TigerRoo I think Loopy is right in what she says about many ladies conceiving with PCOS.

    Loopy are you temping this month?

    I really wish it was easy for all of us.

  • Hi SummerW74 I'm not going to temp this month or use my CBFM, I think we're going to try the natural approach. DH is getting stressed out having to dtd on call so to speak so I suppose it is worth a go.

    I'm not sure if I should still press the 'm' button on my CBFM as I might go back to it again the following month if we don't have any luck with the relaxed approach does anyone know what to do with it if you're having a month off using it?

    SummerW74 where are you on your TTC journey hun? I don't come on the LTTC forum much as it's a lot quieter than the other one so I'll need to get to know everyone. We're waiting for DH's re-test on 29th November and I suppose we'll take it from there x
  • loopy I don't blame you for trying natural approach, to be fair to the guys it really is not as easy as with u girls.

    It is just hard to know whether is worth doing things. I've tried both ways (opk's, lube, legs in the air, temping, more bding, less bding, name it) and natural (when we felt like it) none has worked.

    I even went 'cold turkey' no BE and FB group as it was all getting too much.

    22 months of tears and tantrums on my behalf and no bfp. I have fallen pg on my 7th month of ttc but had an early mc.

    Hubby is ok and I have endometriosis, which has been removed.

    Sorry I don't know about CBFM always used CB digi tests.

    This is my last 2 ww until hubby returns, more relaxed already!

    Hope oh's tests come back ok. I know what you mean about being quite here, I have also found that.

    Best of luck xxx
  • Tiggeroo, have you seen your GP yet? I know a few people who have still concieved with PCOS, might be worth asking if they'd prescribe clomid to help things a long a bit for you now????

    Loopy, this is my 2nd month au natural, so with my CBFM I've just re-set the m-button as usual just incase I decide to go back to it. I did switch it on randomly last month and it asked me for a stick, so I'm presuming it will work OK but haven't checked it this month!

    Summmer, I so hope hubs has left you a little going away presentimage

    Hubs hasn't been dealing very well with his test results, but he seems to be getting better now some time has past! I've found a consultant who deals in male fertility that I've contacted and he said would be willing to see hubs and there are more tests they can do, so hopefully we're going to go back to our GP and get him referred.
  • Hi Ladies,

    I've spoken to nurses at work and I'm pretty ok with the PCO thing now. I should get blood results the end of this week, but I don't have PCOS. I have regular periods, and my other ovary grows a follicle every month, my endometrium thickens up too, and my progesterone shows I'm ovulating this month.

    My hubby is due to have another semen analysis the end of this month as he had round cells in his previous two. They might be signs of underlying infection so prescribed some antibiotics to take for a week. I'm trying to be optimistic that things might get better, but after over a year of trying I'm thinking that it's unlikely that it's going to happen naturally for us. I don't care how it happens as long as it does - and SOON! :lol:
  • Vickster so sorry for your hubby. It is such a complex thing, I bet he feels guilty and all sorts. Hope that you can overcome this together and I think you have done a right thing by taking things in your own hands. It is always good to get a second opinion. I pray for the positive outcome for you.

    Going away pressie would be nice, but you know I just KNOW it won't be, it is weird I used to hope at least a bit but not anymore. Think I want to convince myself that I am hoping, but I am not if that makes sense.

    Lots of love

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