why does it feel so unfair?? *warning this is a rant*
Hello,
Right, me and hubby ttc 2+years, have PCOS and did 3 cycles of clomid late last year with no luck. A couple of weeks before xmas find out my younger brother's wife is expecting her 1st child. Now i was really upset and I am still rather jealous but i know she deserves it as they had a misscarriage earlier in the year and also she still suffers with a benign brain tumor. Plus it was concieved out of love and will be my blood neice or nephew.
Since the new year me and hubby have overhalled diet cutting down sugar, upping fruits and veg, cut out bread pasta and alcohol and we've both lost quite a bit of weight (although I wasn't overweight to begin with). I have also been having accupunture and attended some counselling sessions to try and make me feel more positive. Jan's non clomid cycle I actually got my first LH surge on the CB OPK so was well chuffed but af arrived, but although i was rather upset i thought ok well next cycle i'm back on clomid, diet is whole month in and several accupunture sessions in too. Just had my fertile week and OV on the Friday,
BUT then my husband on Friday night told me as gently as he could that his sister (who is younger) is 10 weeks pregnant with her 2nd child after "an accident"!! The first one was an accident aswell!!! Plus she smokes weed all the time, she did all the way through her last pregnancy and is also overweight! And then theres me doing all this effort with diet and dtd loads and i'm a good person who doesn't smoke or do drugs etc and can't bloody concieve.
It just feels wholly unfair 
Needless to say I sobbed alot on Fri and feel like me having been upset will have ruined our chances any how. Feel a complete mix of emotions....jealous, anger, upset etc. I can't feel happy for her at all and keep hoping she loses the baby which i know is a totally awful thing to think of but I just can't cope with anyone else being/getting preg!! Eventually I know I'll be happy for her but at this point in time it's too raw.
Plus yesterday she texted my hubby to tell him something else. I didn't believe that that was the full story so i checked his messages when he wasn't looking (i know I know) and saw that she had asked how had i took the news. He said better than he thought-god knows what planet he was on becuse the way i sobbed into him on fri eve I really wasn't taking it well!! AND then there was a message saying "anyway stop texting me, i'm still waiting to be an aunty you know 
!" DOES SHE NOT THINK WE ARE F**KING TRYING????!!!! So annoyed!!!
I hope I'm not alone in feeling like this.
Rant over. Thank you reading x
Replies
Your SIL is being completely insensitive and seems very immature.( yes, Sod's law she falls preggars easily!) it sounded like your hubby did the right thing by not telling her your real reaction. I'm not sure I would want anyone to know how insanely jealous and emotionally crushed I feel after every announcement.
I had a cry today for the first time in a while. This is our last cycle before we contact the clinic to start ivf.... Something I never thought it would come to!!
Big hugs xxx it has to happen for us some day!!
hugs to you both ladies, you decide how I feel everyone is bloody pg atm! I cannot wait to be the one with the bump! its so hard when ppl talk about pma! that is so hard after 19 months! having a help kick atm just to feel like we are trying something new! not entitled to help on nhs until June which feels so long away!
You are not alone : )
x
you are not alone dear my lil sister is preg another child, my cousin is preg the first child they are all younger than me. at work 5 of my friends are pregnent they talk about pregancy all the time. at street i saw people who are pregnant everywhere preg preg even on facebook people comment abt their pregnancy others thy want arbotion. i ve been asking god why me. i want to feel the baby kicking in my stamach i want to brush my stamach. but no everytime i get preg i miscarrige few weeks this time im praying to god can i please lord miscarriege after 15 weeks i want to feel the kicks of the baby thts all coz i can see i wont hv kids of my own
I have been where you ladies are and it is devastating to see person after person get pregnant, particularly when they are unhealthy and don't even have to try to get pregnant...it just happens. My husband and I were trying for 3 years, with one miscarriage 3 months into our ttc. We were referred for tests to establish what was wrong with us and everything came back fine. We then had a round of IVF which failed. It felt like the final kick in the teeth when I got that BFN as I had pinned all my hopes on it working first time. During the 3 years we were trying I went through a mixture of emotions- disappointment and upset every time af turned up, anger and frustration when yet another person got pregnant. I stopped using facebook for a while because I couldn't cope with seeing pregnancy announcements and scan pictures. I avoided family get togethers because I was so scared of somebody asking me about why we weren't pregnant yet, were we planning to have children, what were we waiting for etc etc. I would cry myself to sleep night after night, worrying myself stupid that it would never happen and that I was letting my husband down. I even considered leaving my husband because I felt like such a failure. Unless you have been in the situation of struggling to conceive, you can't understand how terrible it is. My family tried to be understanding but they said the wrong things. My husband's family kept telling us to relax and it would happen (so sick of being told this) as if it were my fault we couldn't conceive because I wasn't relaxing enough. Anyway, I had just got to the point where I thought it would never happen when suddenly, 4 months after our failed IVF round, I realised my af was late. I didn't dare test straight away and somehow managed to wait until a week after my missed af to test...and a BFP came up straight away. I am now 17 weeks pregnant and hoping and praying with all my heart and soul that everything will be ok. Please don't give up hope because if I can get pregnant after 3 years trying then you can too. I really hope you take this post for the way it was intended...to reassure you that what you are feeling is normal and to give you hope for your futures. I really hope we all get our happy endings because we all deserve it xxx
I am so very glad I came across this thread. All of your comments make so much sense. We've been TTC for 2 years, all tests normal, was given clomid even though I am ovulating which didin't make any sense. We did get BFP once only to miscarry the very next day. So now we're still in the same boat. What is so frustrating is that I'm a doctor and I see so many ladies who just fall pregnant accidently which makes me worry more about my situation. Have any of you ladies had counselling? I'm thinking that would be a good thing for me to look into but nervous. Thank you xx
pinkslpper im sorry abt wat happened. i did think about counselling bt i dnt have time, to me its better to read all the stories of misc on the enternet now knwing that im not alone its make me feel better i only have two miscarriges some they had 7 miscarrieges some the doctors told them they wont get preg again so im better than them atleast i still have the chance to try again
im still waiting fir my periods after my miscarriege on the 15-01-13
Hi girls,
Thank you for all your comments. I know that I'm not alone in how I feel, but why does it feel that I am? Think those around me just don't know how it really feels and so they can't understand.
Sorry to hear about your misscarriages yogeter, pink slipper & rosebud24, I can only imagine how painful that is to go through. Hugs.
I did a silly thing this morning, I'm 12 dpo and so due on at the weekend, but I used one of my digital cb opks to see if I was preg (coz i've heard it can pick up the hormone) but surprise it was negative. I keep trying to tell myself it's ok and that we'll try again next month and that I have to keep with the healthy eating etc and accupunture. But my husband, although he was tryig to comfort me said "why did you do it, your tempting fate aren't you really?" needless to say that set me off and we ended up having an argument and i went out the door to work without kissing or hugging him goodbye. he sent a text saying he was sorry but i'm too peed off to talk to him.
I also actually hate his bloody sister. We were round his parents at the weekend and she was there and she still went outside and smoked weed! I didn't talk to her the whole time I was there. How could she be so utterly selfish?!!!! Does she not know how goddamn lucky she is?? All i want is to have a baby and she's too selfish to give up cigs and drugs for the sake of the precious life she has inside her. I'm so angry!!
Anyway, i'm doing my best to hold it together and not to burst into tears at my reception desk but struggling very badly. I hate this 2 weeks, and always end up feeling so low that i have to drag myself back up again when af arrives to go through the whole thing again.