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Dealing with emotions and overwhelmed with info.Would be great to hear from you

So I have been having a look around the website and the forums and WOW there is alot of information... it is quite overwhelming. There is alot to take in. 

How do you deal with it all on top of the emotions already in your head about conceiving? 


My partner and I have been trying to concieve for 2 years now, after I came off the Depo jag that I had been on for about 3/4 years. 

My cycle is still whacky. Some times it can be a 62 day cycle... what is that all about? Before I was on the Depo I was on microgynon (wish I had stayed on that now). 

My partner has had his sperm tested and according to him and the doctor he is way above average. I have just had my 21 day bloods done, go back to see the outcome this week. Also had a slight spotting 2 weeks after my last period (dont know what that was).... 

Basically what I am looking for is some support from others going through the same thing because I know that my partner does support me but he doesnt truly understand what it is like for us woman going through this. 

Thanks again everyone image



  • hi Ashley welcome aboard the rollercoaster.

    my story is nearly identical to ur's. i was on depo jab for just under 4 years, when i came off i didnt have a cycle for over a year, and then the one i had was drug induced, since then they have been all over the place and its been a rough road with the docs to get to where i am now. so 4 years on and ttc for 3 of those years ive had every test under the sun! first was told i had polycystic ovaries, now been told i dont, just unexplained at the mo.

    my OH has had tests first showed slightly below average but nothing that should cause any probs, hes had another test done, we go back on 10th sept to get results and ive had more bloods and HSG and ultrasound so hopefully get a step forward, hoping for clomid if all is ok! 

    its has been and still is the most stressful emotional journey of my life! i really have found this site and chatting to girls in the same boat really helpful, for all the major and minor things, just makes me feel normal again!

    i think by what u've written im a bit further down the fertility clinic line than u of tests and things so if u have any queries i might be able to help.

    have u tried any herbal remedies to try to regulate ur cycle? 

    good luck hope this helps.


  • Hi Franks2,

    Wow, just reading your post makes me emotional. I dont think people can fully understand how we are feeling until they start to go through it themselves.

    I went back for my results and the silly nurse forgot to write on the bloods it was for the 21 day Hormone results. But the doc did say that for that 'TIME OF THE MONTH' my hormone levels were normal. So I took that as a positive. That is about it as far as the tests go. we have been reffered to the fertility clinic but still waiting to hear back from them about the way forward.

    I think I finally admitted to myself that I need support, which has helped a great deal and reading everyones stories does make me feel normal. I did for a while think I was alone! How silly of me....

    I dont even know what clomid is, that is how early I am in the clinic stages. haha! I havent heard of any herbal remedies, have you? anything you could reccomend?

    So glad to be able to chat to someone about things, so again I thank you for replying.... you are right, it is an emotional journey, and one that seems to be the same for both of us!

    How do you cope with people not understanding, and saying the regular run of the mill 'it will be okay?' especially in work! the girls are lovely but I really wish they would not comment some times haha!

    hope you hear from you again.



  • hi Ashley,

    this whole process is a very lonely one, and as much as friends try to be there for u with, just relax and it'll happen, or my friend tried for 6 years gave up and now has 3kids! the truth is none of these things help but knowing people care enough to try to make u feel better is what u have to remember. it is so easy to get angry at people, especially when u hear of someone anouncing they're preg, but just take each day as they come, if ur having a good day really make the most of it, but if u want to spend all day in ur pj's crying, eating crap and feeling sorry for urself, do it! we all need those days too.

    there are lots of different herbal helps out there, if u ask at ur local holland and barrat the staff are genrally really helpful, some of the main ones wellwoman conception, which is recommended all the time ur trying for u and baby, and angus cactus has been used to help regulate cycles or red berry leaf tea, but ask them as they're all pretty good.

    hopefully u'll hear from clinic soon, they often re-do alot of the tests so dont worry too much about that. ive had countless blood tests which has helped cure my fear! image also had smear and screening as well as internal and external ultrasounds and a test called HSG which is when they insert dye into ur tubes to check for blockages, which was uncomfortable but none were painful, so please dont worry when they come about,

    clomid is a drug that is taken in the begining of ur cycle for 5 days and is used to induce or boost ovulation. my friend concieved twins on it, so i am hopeful, but realistic at the same time that it doesnt work for everyone, but fingers crossed!

    has ur doc said how long referals usually take in ur area? it reall does make a difference, we moved from essex to cambridgeshire and its much better here, im 32 in nov so dont really want to waste time!

    wishing u lots of luck. xxx

  • I have cried and screamed and just outright lied to my friends and family about this. (oh were not quite there yet etc...)

    This is the hardest thing ive ever had to do and despite having had a couple of appointments I still dont feel like I know exactly whats going to happen??

    I start taking the pill for a couple of weeks to regulate my cycle as its too short.

    Then I start some injections for a couple of weeks, then another lot of injections then Egg collection then egg transfer (I think lol who knows?)  

    Im in Essex and going to bourne Cambridge(just had first appointment) i only waited about three to four weeks for my first letter so very good here. 

    If you have any questions about the initial tests and stuff just drop me a message and Ill help as much as I can. Just do me one favour and dont believe everything you read as I googled a couple of the tests and people said they were really painful and none of them were! made me scared for no reason at all!! lol 

    GOODLUCK TO YOU image 

    Me- Ok

    Dh - Ok 


  • Hi Girls,

    It's really frustrating when talking to people who dont know what your going through. they say the usual, its only been 2 years, your still young (im 24) which yes I suppose I am but its still not the point. I dont think my age means im not going to have problems. Its is such a lonely place and sometimes I do feel like I am the only one going through this, and feel like I cant express my feelings properly to my OH because he is so laid back. (if he was anymore laid back, he would be on his back! lol)

    I went to Holland and Barret and the girls there were really helpful. Cant remember what it is, but I will give it a go. lol.

    I am in a place called Clydebank (Just outside Glasgow) called the hospital and they said within 10 weeks. So hopefully it wont be too long before we see someone. Its amazing all the different tests us women have to go through. I thank you both for letting me know what to expect. Why is it men always get the easy job? lol...

    I defo not going to believe everything I read, before I had my first smear I googled it and someone had wrote it was the most painful thing ever! What? lol..... Glad I went in with an open mind.

    I am struggling to deal with my emotions, mainly because I am currently trying to lose weight (do not want the clinic to blame my problems on my weight) so which in turn I feel guilty about having a pj day with movies and crisps!!!!

    Glad I can vent and you girls know exactly how I feel.

    Thanks so much.... hope to hear from you all soon ..... xxxx


  • Hope your ok xx sometimes a vent is just what the doctor ordered x
  • Hi all,

    oh wow I can't believe we are all going through the same thing here.

    I am the same with being all emotional, especially every time I get my period image But my OH and I don't talk to people about it. On his side no one knows that we have been trying for a baby!! He pretends that he is not ready for kids yet and he is 34 years old. I am going towards being 30 as well and feel like its been ages since we started trying 1,5 years ago.

    The thing is also that I look like I am not even 18 years old. So people don't take you seriously when you say that you would love to have kids. Last weekend after I just got my period again, I walked totally depressed into our Asda and bought a cider (I hardly ever drink and literally get drunk on 1 bottle of cider lol). The woman seriously asked me for my ID. So I gave her my licence and she was like oh..sorry you look younger than me and I am 19!! What?? image

    I only told me 2 older sisters and 2 friends which are overseas atm that we have been trying but they are the same and just say 'up to 2 years is normal, dont worry. Just relax and then it will happen in no only should worry once you are 40..' those words really dont help at all. But at least someone knows and I can be open to them about it image

    My OH is also incredibly relaxed!! His mate's wife just got pregnant after trying for 2,5 years so I guess this gives him hope that we are fine.

    Given that my older sister has Endometriosis and is infertile and never got pregnant within 10 years, I am worried that I will be the same. Our mum also took 7 years to get pregnant but I gues that back in the 70's and early 80's not many knew anything about Endometriosis or keyhole surgery?

    The thing is that she lives overseas and IVF costs something like 6000 Euros and here we have the NHS. By the way I am up in Scotland as well, Glasgow. How many times can you go for IVF is it 2 or 3??I wonder how long the waiting times are for that. 

    By the way I googled this HSG test as well and everywhere it said that it was really painful especially if your tubes are blocked..its good to hear that this isnt always the case image

    I went into our local Holland and Barrett and they gave me Agnus Castus which I took for 6 months but all that happened was that I got a lot of spotting and no real period, so I stppped that but I take Pregnacare Conception and find it really good image I gave my OH Wellman Conception for his swimmers as his test wasnt that great with only 1 ml volume. So hopefully this might help a bit image


    I wish us all lots of good luck and all the best x

  • hi ladies,

    well i went to FC today for results and action plan. on one good hand our results are ok, niether one great but no reason why things shouldnt be happening. because i do ovulate and his swimmers are only slighty below average we go in the unexplained list.

    this means our only option is IVF. when she said that i felt like everything came caving in on me, i really wasnt expecting it! if i can give any advice it would be to keep an opnen mind on everything, i was so convinced we would be given clomid that the news of IVF has hit me hard.

    we've both had blood tests today and been told its an 18wk waiting list but we will hear from the clinic.

    we spoke with a nurse who explained the whole process. on NHS u get 3 fresh rounds of treatment, but they will freeze healthy embrios and if needed will implant up to 5 times (3 fresh 2 frozen) it seems a long process very intense, but the waiting time will hopefully give us a chance to get our head around things.

    they have told us to keep trying in the mean time so still plenty of BDing image

    it is nice to come on here and off load, every step is so hard and having the support of ladies in the same boat really does help.

    wishing everyone success on their journey. baby dust to all


  • Hi Girls,

    Since I last wrote, I have bought Agnus Cactus and have started taking it today (literally 5 mins ago haha). Will give it a try, everyone is different arent they? Ines285 where abouts in Glasgow are you? My OH and I havent told anyone except a couple of our friends and my sister and her fiance. Alot of our friends are single or in new relationships or are younger than us and dont really understand. We have been together 6 years.

    I am feeling better this week, its strange from week to week, even sometimes day to day my mood can totally change! Why is it us woman always get the tough end of the stick?

    Franks that sounds like a rollercoaster of emotions, but at least now you are taking a step in the right direction? and in total 5 rounds is amazing...although It would be a shock to hear that your option is IVF. Did they say you can buy clomid yourself? I have read of people on here buying it themselves? Big hugs your way....

    Love hearing from you and going through our journeys together.


  • Hi Ashly the doc said because I do ovulate clomid could actually be bad for me because of the side affects. I wouldn't recommend buying it, in the end u never really know what ur getting unless from a doc! 

    Good luck with the Angus castus I know it has worked for others. When we spoke to our doc she was really pleased I had done so much to help myself, I stopped eating soya, stopped smoking cut right back on drinking take pregnacare and evening primrose and in the past I've taken other things from holland and barratt. But u still need to enjoy life! I know. It's really hard, and so easy to become obsessed, I have been along the way and it really puts pressure on u and ur relationship. Easier said than done tho! ???? 

    Wishing everyone lots of luck, and keep in touch. xxxxx

  • Hi franks2,

    just a quick question from me:

    Why did you stop eating/drinking soya? I am allergic to cows milk and can't have certain sugars like lactose, fructose etc. So I stay away from anything with cows milk and most sugars in it. I drink organic soya milk, costs a lot but is the only thing that I can have with my coffee/tea in the morning. I also cook & bake with it. 

    I have read books about Endometriosis and fertily and most books say that cows milk and refined sugars are bad for us women, especially women with Endometriosis/fertility issues and period problems. Since I cut out cows milk & most sugars my pain during that time of the month has been nearly non existent!! I am pretty much pain free image

    But as soon as I have the slightest bit of sugar its back. Yes I do agree that we still somehow should enjoy life. I might read up on the soya bit tho. Soya milk is the only milk I can drink without getting horrendously sick.

    I tried rice milk and that stuff is just weird image didn't like it at all lol


    Wishing you all lots of luck as well & please keep in touch xx

  • hi Ines285. Sounds like u've got loads to consider in ur diet already! I'm a veggie and when I looked into it too much soy can cause problems as it mimics estrogen in ur body which can cause ov'ing problems. I've cut it out completely but I guess it's worth researching if small amounts are ok? My brother is also lactos intolerant and has lacto free milk, don't know if its any good, but he's a health freak so they must do a sugar free one. I've also cut out processed food so it has been hard but been a bit more adventurous in the kitchen ???? 

    i hope this helps, good luck and let us know how u get on. 


  • Hi Girls,

    Still havent noticed a difference with taking the agnus cactus. Like none at all! will give it a go until the end of the month but will maybe try something different. I have already cut smoking. Done Stoptober last year so its been nearly a year (Must admit I very rarely have 1 when drinking) Naughty! I dont drink too often, cant handle the hangovers!!! haha!

    Currently doing Slimming World and dont eat alot of packaged and processed food make most things from scratch... so my diet is good. trying to lose weight aswell....

    I didnt know about the Cows Milk or Soya Milk thing but I dont have alot of dairy. just in my cereal but its always the red top.

    Right now I am just waiting on hearing about my appointment. How is everyone else doing? xxx

  • Hi again guys, frank2, I'm with you on that Ivf shock. I went in after having all the tests come back clear and they said Ivf !! I was like what about clomid and was told no. I cried and begged (literally) and was told no. I was then told to wait for a third year as unexplained !! I was devastated. I argued and eventually they agreed to only make me wait another 6 months which would bring me to my 30 birthday !! I've never been so upset.

    I went back for my appointment at the end of may and was immediately referred to Cambridge Ivf centre. I had my first seminar by August and we start our first cycle next week !! After waiting what feels like forever we are now moving very fast indeed. Please stay hopeful xx gl to you all
  • Sorry one more thing, I spoke to my consultant about clomid and she basically said each doctor makes the decision and that they could have given me the tablets without real harm. However she said "I wouldn't worry about it as to be honest the results on clomid aren't even that good"! Kinda glad really now as could have messed with my cycle and i might have ended up with a longer wait image
  • Hi justmarried2012, thank u for ur reply, and to everyone else! Are u at bourn hall, cambridge? That's where we're going, just awaiting seminar appointment been told it should be early October so not long to wait!  Have u got any dates for starting treatment?

    It really is a lot to get ur head around, and I've done a lot of crying but trying to see the positive sides!  

    ashley, stick with the angus castus it can take a while to get into ur system and try taking it with food, it helps it get into ur body better.

    wishing u all lots of luck and happy endings! ????????????????xxx

  • We are at bourn too Hun and the staff and clinic are amazing !

    We had our seminar last month and first appointment two weeks later. We now start treatment next Saturday with the first round of injections image
  • Wow it all happens so quickly! Do u live in Cambs then. Xx

  • No I'm in Harlow but they are the best so we decided to go there instead of our nearest clinic in cheshunt x u?
  • I'm in Ely, not far from Camb but I know Harlow at least it's not too far for u to travel! I hope u don't mind me asking how long did it take for u to get a letter from them about ur seminar? I'm driving myself mad checking the post every day! Lol. 

    How are u getting on with treatment?  Are the injections ok? 


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