Forum home Getting pregnant Long term TTC & infertility

Diagnosed today….feel as if someone has died!

Hi everyone,

Just need to get this out there….dont need any replies I just need to type.

So we have been TTC for around about 18 months (I dont really count the first few) after being on pill for nearly 15 years. Nothing was happening despite reading every bit of info about getting the timing right.

Anyway we got referred early by our GP as I could prove that we had timed it right (charting etc) and have been for a boat load of tests from about Christmas 2014. 

Today we have been told that my husband has a sperm count of zero….so no matter what we do we are never going to get pregnant naturally. There are a lot of reasons why this could be, and we can possibly get some sperm surgically but only if that is successful could we try IVF.

I went to today's appointment thinking that the worst case scenario would be IVF….but we might not even get that far. I am so disappointed and also disappointed in myself, as I feel as though I am being disloyal to my husband by wanting to change our circumstances by having a baby….I mean our lives are pretty great right now, we are healthy (other than azoospermia!) and have a lovely home and good jobs, and great friends and family. How can I wish for anything more?

Whats worse is that my sister in law just told us she was pregnant yet none of our family know we have been for this appointment today….and I just can't bring myself to tell any of them. But its not fair to just avoid my sister in law at this happy time. I am hoping that by the weekend  I will feel better about it. 

The plus points for us are 

- I am fine and have very good ovarian reserve and am young (ish - 32) 

-I no longer need to wonder every month and deal with the disappointment….i know i wont be!

-the consultant we met today was lovely and has sent for more tests and analysis to check reason for zero sperm….then she can judge if surgical sperm retrieval is a likely to succeed. 

-once we get there, there is no wait for IVF.

-my husband is being wonderful….considering I had to talk him into TTC in the first place and looks as if he is prepared to do this for me.


  • Hi MrsNe, just wanted to welcome you and say so sorry to hear what you're going through. But this is exactly what this forum is here for - support, advice and a virtual shoulder to cry on.

  • Hi MRsNE

    first of All I am sorry about your news .. i know exactly how you feel! Basically me and my partner are in the same boat .. 

    Had been trying for our first baby for about a year .. Nothing was happening .. Had been checking my ovulation etc eventually we went to our gps and got referred to the centre for life .. Everything is fine with me .. However - my partner had only 2 live sperm out of a possicle 20 million - that is heart breaking! So basically we have no chance .. We know why he has low sperm tho and that is due to his use of steroids at the gym .. This he has stopped since Christmas and he was due back in February just gone for another test where it came back that he had 0 sperm!!! consultant told us that it shouldn't put us down because we known he can produce sperm as there was 2 there .. He could of just been reproducing at this time!! We are due back in June for another test and get the results of that at the end of June - I am praying for good news and we are still just going on with our daily lives hoping and praying that we fall naturally!! Please do not give up hope - I keep trying to to my self that everyday even tho it's hard seeing so many ladies calling pregnant - I just want to be a mummy to! .. There is so much they can do now with IVF - keep your hopes high and fingers crossed - praying for you - and me image best of luck xx 

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