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Long thread! Insensitive friend!

First time on here... not really sure what to write but thought it might help to get some other opinions which may help how I’m feeling?

I'm feeling really angry at a friend that has known about my unexplained fertility issues and she felt the need to meet up with me and tell me her news that she was pregnant again. It has left me feeling quite angry as I wish she had just messaged me. she has a little boy already and I know she has been trying for a while but I just would have preferred a non face to face announcement where I wasn’t expected to react in a certain way and I cant help feeling there was a bit of unkindness about it all. I know it’s a big thing to some people but I know that I wouldn’t feel the need to meet up with a friend who was struggling. I would send a gentle message about it. Approach it in a different way and im re evaluating our friendship as i have so many up and down days and just came off some anti depressants for my anxiety as it was really bad after a M/C I had earlier in the year after IVF. I have been trying to conceive for around 4/5 years and I have only been starting to feel in a good place about it all but i Dont think being around this friend at the moment will be healthy for me....or I’m just angry at her approach and worse of all I feel so guilty for feeling this way. But I’m conflicted with feelings of.. that is not right and if she should have not forced me into hearing her news face to face.

Its almost like some friends like to see me in a mess as I’m always so strong and they want a reaction. Maybe they put me on a padas but they don’t realise how hard I’ve had it. But as true friends they should know? I remember the day she told me when she was pregnant with her first and I was trying then!!! I feel she is a friend that has compared herself to me a lot and I worry that she almost enjoys seeing me hurt? I’m just struggling to work out whether she was being genuine and she said she wanted to tell me to my face as she knows it’s a sensitive subject etc etc which I dont really get. And why couldn’t she have just sent Me a message so I could have prepared myself. I now feel like I need to send all my friends a message to say if anyone falls pregnant. I’m happy for you but please don’t feel the need to meet up with me after not seeing you for so long and tell me your news expectI got a reaction that I simply cannot give. I’m really not sure why they expect or want one. It’s her baby and I would just be silently happy for myself and looking forward to my future with my baby...

Anyway! Thank you for reading if you have read this far... and let me know your thoughts.. maybe I am being unnecessary about this but it has brought up some raw and confusion feelings for me.... 


  • Aww hun sending big hugs .. you are Going to be super sensitive to any way your friend told you i Remember how I felt when my friends told me they was pregnant when I was trying and it’s heart breaking ... if you’ve been friends this long I’m sure there was so malice in it but maybe you need some distance and time or talk to her as to how you feel... that you are happy for her but it’s a constant reminder of what your missing and you want to distance yourself from that while your trying to work on yourself.... I’m sure they will get it ! 

    Good luck I didn’t want to read and run ! Fingers crossed it will be your turn soon !

  • Hey thanks for your reply.. I think after wording it has helped me find a bit of clarity! Thank you for your words though 😊

  • I get up and down anyway even without the ttc as ha e all my life so think it was was just a bad day to tell me and I couldn’t see straight or feel that strong 💪 I will brush myself off and carry on X

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